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Introducing, The Groggy Grocer

Our quest for the highest quality businesses in the i-71 market continues to reveal diamonds in the rough that you really should take the time to patronize. In the gray market world that the DC regulators have left us in, a wide variety of business models develop that are often, unfortunately, very predatory or generally substandard in terms of their product, service, or overall combination thereof. We know this because we are out there day after day, exploring the vast and evolving i-71 market, across the district, to map out the quality experiences and products for you, the discerning cannabis consumer.


We are so happy to get out there on our daily adventures and explore this illustrious marketplace, like I said, we find the true diamonds in the rough that really highlight the top tier quality DC is capable of producing. The Groggy Grocer (@groggygrocerdc) is one such i-71 gemstone that truly stands out from the masses as a top tier, curbside pickup/delivery service and research & development kitchen! I’ll dive deeper into their operation but in short, The Groggy Grocer produces some of the most unique, craft edible infusions in DC, sources the best local craft homegrown flower for his menu, and utilizes the highest quality customer service model I have yet experienced in my time at Toker’s Guide.

What makes a cannabis edible truly a craft product anyway? What is it that Groggy Grocer has done that has elevated his products to a different tier altogether? Well these are interesting questions and the easy part of the answer lies in the quality of the ingredients and the quality of the food product themselves, from a culinary perspective. Far too often, the amateur baker or chef tries to infuse a food product and doesn’t account for the proper ratios of their oil or butter and tanks the flavor of the product, or they source low quality ingredients that ultimately produce low quality food. Well, as you might guess, this takes away the potential entrepreneur's chance of achieving a craft title and this is exactly why the Groggy Grocers starts with his ingredients to ensure a foundation of artisanship for his brand.

Sourcing the highest quality ingredients from sifted flours to premium cocoa, Groggy’s products are as delicious as anything made from an amazing culinary kitchen and potent to boot. He takes it a step further by employing top tier professional chefs and PHD educated R&D professionals to not only execute products to culinary perfection, but to ensure that the science behind their product supports a higher quality of experience overall. It is in the science behind the products that Groggy Grocer truly earns his craft edible status and a major reason you should take the time to try out one of his edibles.

So, for those of you who don’t know, there are a variety of ways to do infusions and a variety of ingredients one can infuse THC into. By far the most common edible products are a basic mct coconut oil infusion mixed into whatever recipe they are trying to produce. Nothing wrong with that, it creates a standard experience, is a relatively healthy oil, and will absorb into your system between 1 and 2 hours. But did you know that you can infuse any type of oil, any type of butter and even different kinds of sugar? More importantly, did you know that each one of these carrier mechanisms has a different degree of absorbability and thus bioavailability of the thc?

Well it's an important thing the note for the would be edible connoisseur because some edible infusions are absorbed quite quickly while others take hours to fully absorb. Groggy Grocer is quite knowledgeable around these nuances and infuses his own bulk sugars, butters, and oils, creating a formulation toolbox that allows him to craft edible recipes that hit you in tiered, nuanced and targeted ways. By creating products that utilize infused butter, oil, and sugar ingredients, Groggy and his team are able to create edible products that absorb partially around T20 mins, a bit more around T45 mins and still again after the T60+ min mark!

This creates an unctuous cascading effect that allows your experience to hit faster and endure longer than 90% of the edibles across the country, let alone DC. And, operating his own kitchen, he can produce the full gambit of recipes, from sweets to savories, all specially formulated to maximize the digestive system's ability to process your medicine and provide you optimal bioavailability.

In the vein of good science AND good culinary practices, Groggy Grocer NEVER infuses with distillate but favors the more labor intensive but far cleaner and superior process of infusing organic, fresh flower, straight from the plant to the product directly in the kitchen. I cannot express how deliciously effective his product line really is, from fast acting to slow acting, to savory dinners to delicious candied treats, Groggy Grocer truly produces a smorgasbord of top shelf edibles for all flavor palates.

He also offers the bulk ingredients themself, allowing you to choose from choice infused ingredients like his custom designed organic infused sugar, his silky, luscious infused european butter, triple filtered infused coconut oil, triple filtered infused olive oil, and his super clean, organic Rick Simpson oil. So whether you’re an edible enthusiast or interested in producing your own super high quality edibles at home, Groggy Grocer has got your back.

And hey, if edibles aren’t your thing then never fear, they carry a wide range of concentrates, cartridges and some of the best, local homegrown organic head stashes in DC! Groggy Grocer networks with some of the best, small batch, organic, soil home grows like local DC phenohunter and soil based small batch home grower, District Homegrown, to provide his clientele with some exclusive access to some truly top tier varieties of our favorite plant. He is stocked with jars of some of the most well cared for and loved cannabis plants that I have seen around the DC market and it is exactly this commitment to top tier excellence that really highlights Groggy Grocer’s model.

Combine this with his unparalleled customer service and you get one of the finest i-71 experiences in the district. Delivered straight to you or a pickuped within 10 minutes of placing an order, Groggy Grocer is positioned to get you the best quality products in the most efficient manner possible, truly treating his business like, well, a business. The consistency that he provides in his customer service model serves as the cherry on top of a cake of spectacular flower product, state of the art craft edibles, and a really well vetted team of professionals that work diligently to provide you with their incredible products, with the customer service you’ve come to expect from more mainstream industries,.

You can taste the love and feel the engineering behind this supremely well curated menu and I highly encourage everyone to give Groggy Grocer a try. I think you will be surprised at the effectiveness of the products as well as the wide variety of things you can make in your own kitchens. Groggy Grocer will look out for you and I am personally very excited to see what future concoctions come out of this company's collective brain.

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