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Strain : Bubble Bath Dispensary : Story - Hyattsville Market : Maryland Recreational Overall Rating : 9.1/10 Lean : Hybrid Initial Thoughts After picking up a slice of this Fade Co. Bubble Bath from Story Dispensary in Hyattsville, Maryland, I decided to swing by a friend’s place a couple miles away. Nestled in one of the town’s tree-lined streets where bungalows hum with creative energy and holiday lights twinkle, her cute abode is always such a cozy place to hang out. Hyattsville’s artsy pulse - evident in the murals splashing color across Route 1 and the indie vibe of local spots like Vigilante Coffee - made the short drive feel like a mini adventure. Sitting in my friend’s den we held the bag under the light of a desk lamp and marveled at the compact, jade-green buds with their subtle purple blush. The aroma - lush lavender, creamy vanilla, and a tart citrus jab - swirled around us much like a boutique bath bomb might. We couldn't wait to spark it up and bask in the relaxing vibes I'd heard so much about! 🛁 Appearance The buds are small but meticulously formed, dense with vibrant green hues and faint purple undertones. A frosty trichome coating lends a bubble-like  glimmer, while sparse orange pistils add fiery contrast. Status Fresh Aroma A complex bouquet: soapy lavender leads with floral grace, backed by a diesel bite and crisp pine that snap like a winter breeze. Earthy notes ground it, while an grapefruit undertone adds a bold, almost mischievous edge. This bubble-bursting scent is both soothing and audacious. Flavor The inhale weaves a rich tapestry: sage and lavender blend smoothly, floral yet grounded, with sweet fruitiness - hints of berries and citrus - adding a playful lift. Diesel undertones bring a subtle grit, while the exhale softens into a clean, tangy finish, likely myrcene and linalool at work. The bubble-licious flavor is layered and satisfying, evoking a curated tasting menu at a local pop-up. Lineage Fade Co.'s Bubble Bath is an indica dominant hybrid cross of The Soap and Project 4516 that merges floral and diesel notes with fruity vibrancy. Effects The high eases in gently, lifting mood and sharpening focus, ideal for partaking in Hyattsville’s creative vibe—think sketching at a Busboys and Poets event or chatting around a fire pit. A mild body calm follows, soothing tension without dulling engagement. Overall, the effects balance clarity and relaxation better than most indica's I've had recently. Conclusion Bubble Bath from Fade Co. at Story Dispensary is a fragrant, multifaceted marvel—its frosty buds fuse soapy lavender, sage, and berry-citrus flavors into a euphoric, soothing high that fizzles stress and froths up happiness. Perfect for quiet evenings or lively gatherings, it offers refined relief with a splash of flair. Special thanks to Story’s Hyattsville crew and the town’s vibrant charm for providing a delightful backdrop. This one is a must-have for anyone craving a soothing soak - it's truly the lather of luxury! *Medical cannabis is for certified/qualifying patients only. Must be at least 21+ years old to view content.

​ Strain : Do-Si-Dos #22-22 ​Dispensary: CULTA Location: Baltimore, MD ​ Overall Rating: 9.5/10 ​Lean: Indica Dominant Hybrid Initial Thoughts Known in Maryland for their exceptional medical cannabis and artisanal approach, C ULTA's flower can be found throughout the Maryland market. Recently, I had the pleasure of sampling an eighth of their prized indoor grown Do-Si-Dos flower from their Baltimore dispensary. This specific cut of Do-Si-Dos (the 22-22) is a phenotype found only from CULTA and I've been very keen to give it a try for a while now. Culta's Do-Si-Dos #22-22 just before harvest Appearance These buds greeted me with layers of rich purple and green fused together with plenty of sugary ripe trichomes. Radiant orange hairs curl in and out of the buds and I could have spent several minutes just looking at its beauty - if I wasn't so excited to experience its effects that is. Structure Smaller sized buds, yet the size didn't even begin to take away the beauty. Status This batch of flower has a brilliant level of moisture content, giving it some give and elasticity when ground up and compacted for smoking or vaping. Aroma Upon opening the jar I noticed the cookie smell entering my nose. But the cookie smell wasn't alone. It brought a bit of a piney robust chocolate scent with it as well. Flavor While lighting up my jay, I noticed the flavor right away. It has a classic OG earthy taste, with hints of gas. With each hit, complimenting the OG, I could taste more of the sweet buttery cookie flavor. Lineage Do-Si-Dos is a cross of OG Kush Breath (OGKB) X Face Off OG that runs indica dominant. Effects I first noticed that my eyes quickly became low and squinty. I was nearing half of my jay and it seemed as though my heart rate took a little extra time to respond to my breathing, which helped my mind relax a bit more with each breath. My body became heavier and my anxieties levels throughout the afternoon were greatly reduced and mostly unnoticeable. I found it a bit like a reset after the long week and I was able to let go of the weight I had been unconsciously carrying mentally and physically. The next batch of Do-Si-Dos #22-22 almost ready to go! Conclusion I was very happy with this sticky batch and I'm already looking forward to picking up more Do-Si-Dos #22-22 in the near future. This indica dominant hybrid has been particularly favored by many and has been known to help with pain relief, depression, and anxiety due to its high potency and restful qualities. It is a wonderful strain that is truly reminiscent of its cookie and OG lineage. If you'd like to pick some up for yourself CULTA has multiple dispensaries in Maryland that would be happy to let you know when and where this can be found, or you can simply head to their Baltimore flagship dispensary near the Inner Harbor. *Medical cannabis is for certified/qualifying patients only. Must be at least 18 years old to view content.

Strain : Snoop Dogg OG Dispensary : Columbia Care, Chevy Chase Market : Maryland Recreational Overall Rating : 9.2/10 Lean : Hybrid Initial Thoughts This batch of Snoop Dogg OG, named after the rap legend and cannabis enthusiast Snoop Dogg himself, is the "shizzle". Currently available at Columbia Care dispensary in Chevy Chase, Maryland, it brings serious laid-back vibes with a blend of euphoric creativity and couch-locking relaxation. This indica-dominant hybrid (70% indica / 30% sativa) has its roots in Lemon OG  and Sour Diesel , making it a hard-hitting, funky hybrid that’s as smooth as a G-funk beat. 🎤 📀 🎧 Appearance The buds of Snoop Dogg OG are generously sized, dense, and spade-shaped, showcasing a dusty green color with hints of mint throughout. Bright orange and amber pistils swirl around the nugs, which are coated in a fine layer of white crystalline trichomes and sticky resin—this bud has some real “bling” to it, like Snoop himself. Status Fresh, but starting to cure in packaging. Aroma Snoop Dogg OG’s aroma lives up to the rapper’s style with a funky mix of earthy lemon and diesel. When breaking apart the buds, that diesel scent takes over, mingling with a zesty lemon tang that hints at its Lemon OG  lineage. This strain’s aroma profile could make you “drop it like it’s hot” just from the sheer pungency! Flavor On the inhale, Snoop Dogg OG delivers a spicy earthiness, followed by a sour, lemony diesel taste on the exhale. This flavor combo is smooth but packs a punch, sort of like a classic Snoop Dogg track. It’s not too harsh on the palate, but there’s a noticeable zing from the lemon that gives the experience a nice kick. Lineage A cross between Lemon OG  and Sour Diesel , Snoop Dogg OG brings together the best of both worlds, much like a rap collab you didn’t know you needed. The Lemon OG  influences shine through in the lemon notes, while Sour Diesel  adds that unmistakable diesel funk. This powerful duo lays the foundation for Snoop Dogg OG’s potent, long-lasting effects. Effects Snoop Dogg OG kicks off with a wave of cerebral euphoria that gets the creative juices flowing. It’s a bit like stepping into the recording booth with Snoop himself—confidence is high, and the world is full of possibilities. After a while, the initial energetic high settles into a balanced focus, with relaxation creeping in as couch-lock starts to take hold. Just like Snoop’s smooth style, this strain leaves you mellowed out - and with a solid case of the munchies, so be prepared to snack. Conclusion Snoop Dogg OG at Columbia Care in Chevy Chase brings on the relaxation and a taste of West Coast vibes. With a balanced mix of euphoria, focus, and couch-lock, it’s perfect for winding down after a long day. Snoop might say, "Ain't no strain dope as Snoop Dogg OG, it's so laid back, no wonder it’s named after me!"

Strain : Fuel Biscuits Dispensary : Green Theory Market : DC Medical Cannabis Overall Rating : 9.5/10 Lean : Indica Dominant Initial Thoughts This recent batch of Fuel Biscuits, cultivated by Alt Sol and available at Green Theory in Washington, DC, is an indica-dominant hybrid that brings together the best of Girl Scout Cookies (GSC) and Gelato. Ideal for unwinding after work or enhancing relaxed social gatherings, it's known for its soothing body relaxation and uplifting cerebral euphoria. I must say that with its scrumptious gassy nose and cheerful, loungy vibes, the name seems very fitting - think "fuel" aroma, buttery "biscuit" feels. 🤤 Appearance Gorgeous, with a spectrum of green hues ranging from vibrant lime to deep forest. The buds are on the fluffy side and frosted with a generous coating of trichomes, giving them a crystalline appearance. The occasional flashes of orange pistils add a dynamic contrast, making this strain as appealing to the eyes as it is to the senses. Status Fresh. Aroma The aroma of Fuel Biscuits is a complex medley of diesel fuel with hints of citrus, underscored by sweet, sour, and spicy notes. As you open the jar, the pungent diesel scent immediately hits, followed by a layered bouquet that reveals its intricate genetic background. Flavor On the palate, Fuel Biscuits delights with a combination of sweet berries and cherries, complemented by a subtle, bready, gassiness. The initial inhale is sweet and fruity, while the exhale brings out hints of diesel and a slight tangy spice, leaving a rich and lingering aftertaste. Lineage Fuel Biscuits is a cross between two legendary strains, Girl Scout Cookies (GSC) and Gelato. GSC contributes its sweet and bready undertones, while Gelato adds a creamy, gassy dimension, resulting in a hybrid with dynamic effects and flavors. Effects The effects of Fuel Biscuits are both physically calming and mentally uplifting. The initial wave is euphoric and energizing, sparking creativity and good vibes. This is soon followed by a warm, tingling body relaxation that helps to melt away tension and stress. Fuel Biscuits also has a reputation for boosting appetite, making it a great choice before cookouts or other dining plans. Conclusion Fuel Biscuits by Alt Sol is a masterful hybrid that combines a visually stunning appearance, a rich aromatic profile, and versatile effects. Its blend of relaxation and cerebral energy makes it a perfect choice for those seeking balanced relief, whether to unwind solo or enjoy good company. To fill up your tank with some Fuel Biscuits head to Green Theory ASAP and don't forget to let them know that you heard about them on Toker's Guide !

Strain : Blackberry Champagne Dispensary : Story Market : Maryland Recreational Overall Rating : 9.1/10 Lean : Indica Dominant Initial Thoughts A luxurious indica strain in every way, this Blackberry Champagne, cultivated by Fade Co., is now available at Story dispensary in Silver Spring, Maryland. It boasts an impressive profile, with a total cannabinoid content (TAC) of 30.58% and terpenes at 2.22%. A cross between Blackberry Kush and Pink Champagne, it pairs potent effects with a sophisticated flavor and aroma that captures the essence of its fruity, sparkling namesake. 🍇 🍾 Appearance The visual allure of Blackberry Champagne is undeniable. Its dense, resin-coated buds shimmer with trichomes that give the appearance of fine crystals dusted over a purple and green canvas. Vivid orange pistils weave through the nugs, adding warmth to the cool undertones of its dark purples and blacks. A closer look reveals hints of pink—a subtle nod to its Pink Champagne lineage. Status Fresh, but starting to cure. Aroma Opening a jar of Blackberry Champagne is like uncorking a bottle of bubbly at a celebration. The aroma is rich with sweet berries and grapes, layered over subtle notes of citrus and earth. The Blackberry Kush parent lends a smooth Kush base, while Pink Champagne contributes a fruity sweetness reminiscent of strawberries and sparkling wine. The overall bouquet is both inviting and refined. Flavor Blackberry Champagne delivers a flavor profile as indulgent as its aroma. On the inhale, expect bold notes of ripe blackberries and sweet grapes, followed by a smooth exhale with hints of citrus and earthiness. The slight spiciness in the aftertaste, likely inherited from its Kush lineage, balances the sweetness and keeps each hit refreshing. Lineage This strain is the offspring of two celebrated parents: Blackberry Kush , known for its potent indica effects and rich berry flavors, and Pink Champagne , a hybrid revered for its sweet, grape-forward profile and euphoric effects. Together, these genetics create a strain that harmonizes relaxation, sweetness, and a touch of uplifting euphoria. Effects Blackberry Champagne offers a dynamic experience that begins with a gentle euphoria, lifting the mood and melting away tension. Users often report feelings of calm happiness accompanied by a soothing body high that can ease physical discomfort and encourage deep relaxation. As the effects settle in, the strain’s indica dominance takes hold, making it ideal for winding down or preparing for restful sleep. While the initial high can inspire a touch of creativity or social connection, the latter stages are more sedative, potentially leading to couch lock if consumed in larger amounts. Conclusion Cultivated by Fade Co.  and featured at Story dispensary, Blackberry Champagne is a strain that brings sophistication to the cannabis experience. Its striking appearance, layered flavor, and balanced effects make it a wonderful choice for those seeking relaxation paired with a sensory treat. Whether enjoyed during a quiet evening or as part of a celebratory moment, Blackberry Champagne lives up to its name by delivering a refined and flavorful journey. *Medical cannabis is for certified/qualifying patients only. Must be at least 21+ years old to view content.

Strain : Madrina Dispensary : Takoma Wellness Center Market : DC Medical Cannabis Overall Rating : 9.4/10 Lean : Sativa "Madrina" is a Cookies & Alt Sol Collaboration that's available exclusively at Takoma Wellness Center dispensary in Washington, DC. Initial Thoughts Madrina, cultivated by Alt Sol and available at Takoma Wellness Center in Washington, DC, comes with a reputation as bold as its name. In Spanish-speaking cultures, "Madrina" can refer to a godmother, but not the sweet, storybook kind—it’s slang for a powerful smuggler, a behind-the-scenes orchestrator with influence and presence. Similarly, this strain smuggles creativity and relaxation into your day, all while delivering a sensory experience that’s as commanding as its namesake. But don’t worry—this "godmother" is here to guide you into a state of productive bliss, not trouble. Let’s take a closer look at what makes Madrina such an intriguing addition to the Cookies lineup. Cookies "Madrina" packaging art. Appearance Madrina's visual appeal is undeniable. The dense, resin-covered buds gleam with a frosty coating of trichomes, almost like they’ve been dipped in powdered sugar. Bright green hues dominate, accented by subtle streaks of purple and fiery orange pistils that twist like ribbons throughout the flower. It’s a strain that looks as refined as it feels. Status Fresh. Aroma As soon as you crack open the jar, Madrina greets you with an assertive blend of sugary citrus and sharp gasoline. The aroma is invigorating, reminiscent of candied lemon zest mixed with a jolt of diesel fuel. It’s the olfactory equivalent of a double shot of espresso—bright, energizing, and full of character. Flavor If the aroma doesn’t wake you up, the flavor certainly will. Madrina delivers a fruity berry sweetness on the inhale, almost like a bowl of fresh summer berries drizzled with honey. But don’t let your guard down—on the exhale, it flips the script with a potent chemical kick that’s both intense and oddly satisfying. It’s a flavor journey that keeps you coming back for more. Lineage Madrina owes its complex profile to its parent strains, Wedding Cake  and Londonchello . Wedding Cake brings its signature sweetness and earthy depth, while Londonchello contributes a zesty citrus burst and uplifting effects. Together, they create a balanced hybrid with an energetic edge. Effects Much like its namesake, Madrina doesn’t play by the rules. It starts with an uplifting head high that sparks creativity and focus, making it ideal for brainstorming or tackling a long to-do list. As the cerebral effects settle in, a gentle wave of relaxation takes over, soothing the body without inducing couch lock. Madrina is like a guiding hand, gently steering you toward productivity and joy without overwhelming you. Conclusion With its complex flavor profile, visually stunning buds, and sativa-oriented effects, Madrina is a strain that deserves the attention of daytime cannabis enthusiasts everywhere. Whether you’re looking for inspiration, mood enhancement, or just a flavorful toke, she delivers - much like the powerful figures the name evokes. And while it might not smuggle anything other than its cheerful vibes into your day, this "godmother" strain is definitely one to respect and enjoy.

Strain : Tahiti Twist Dispensary : New Leaf Market : Washington DC Overall Rating : 9.3/10 Lean : 50/50 Hybrid Initial Thoughts Tahiti Twist, cultivated by Alt Sol and available at New Leaf in Washington DC, is a balanced hybrid strain that brings tropical flair to your cannabis experience. With its vibrant citrus lime tang and tropical undertones, this strain is designed to evoke the joy of a mini-vacation. Whether you're looking for a mood boost or an evening of relaxation, Tahiti Twist delivers an uplifting high that keeps the good vibes flowing. 🏝️🦜🌺 Appearance Tahiti Twist is quite gorgeous, with dense, lime-green buds accented by bright orange pistils and a generous coating of frosty trichomes. The vivid hues and resinous texture hint at the strain's tropical origins and terpene-rich profile. Status Fresh, but starting to cure. Aroma The aroma of Tahiti Twist is a zesty blend of citrus lime and tropical fruit, rounded out by subtle floral and earthy notes. The prominent Beta-Myrcene provides a bold sweetness, while Ocimene adds a citrusy zest, and Linalool offers a calming lavender-like essence. Together, these terpenes create a fragrant bouquet that’s as energizing as it is soothing. Flavor Tahiti Twist delivers a flavor profile that mirrors its aroma, offering a tangy citrus lime burst on the inhale followed by tropical fruit and floral undertones on the exhale. A smooth, slightly sweet finish makes each puff feel refreshing, like sipping a beachside cocktail. Lineage Tahiti Twist has a tropical hybrid background, combining robust genetics designed to provide both uplifting cerebral effects and soothing physical relaxation. While the exact parent strains are undisclosed, its tropical and citrus-forward characteristics suggest a careful blend of fruity and zesty cannabis lineages. Effects Tahiti Twist provides a balanced high that combines mental upliftment with gentle physical relaxation. Users often report a burst of euphoria and creativity, followed by a calming body sensation that eases tension without inducing sedation. Ideal for socializing, creative endeavors, or simply unwinding, this strain is versatile and mood-enhancing. Check out our charts on this batch's potency and terpene profile: Terpene Chart : This visualizes the terpene profile with notable levels of beta-Myrcene, d-Limonene, and beta-Caryophyllene. Potency Content Chart : This shows the concentration of cannabinoids in the strain, highlighting THCA and CBGA as the dominant components. Conclusion Alt Sol’s Tahiti Twist is a refreshing hybrid strain that delivers a delightful mix of uplifting effects and tropical flavors. From its eye-catching appearance to its citrusy aroma and smooth flavor, it offers a unique cannabis experience perfect for boosting your mood or enjoying a laid-back evening. To experience this vibrant addition to Alt Sol’s lineup of high-quality flower head to New Leaf  ASAP and don't forget to let them know that you heard about it on Toker's Guide !

Strain : Gary Payton Dispensary : Embers DC Market : DC Medical Cannabis Overall Rating : 9.4/10 Lean : Hybrid Initial Thoughts Gary Payton, the cannabis strain, much like the legendary NBA player it's named after, is all about precision and impact. Just as the Hall of Famer could lock down opponents with unmatched defense, this strain comes in with intensity and focus, leaving you uplifted and in a state of calm control. Alt Sol 's x Cookies DC cultivation of this Cookies strain, now available at Embers Dispensary in DC, delivers a batch so refined it’s almost like the cannabis version of Payton’s famous trash-talking - it’s hard-hitting, yet oddly comforting. Cookies "Gary Payton" ice cream tub packaging. Appearance Gary Payton's buds are as vibrant and uniform as a well-executed fast break. The small, grape-shaped nugs are tightly packed, resembling miniature basketballs, and their minty green hues are accented by bright orange hairs. Layers of frosty white trichomes shimmer like a championship ring, and occasional streaks of dark purple lend a regal air to this already majestic flower. Here's a look at the Cookies blue jars that come inside the ice cream tubs and are sealed for extra freshness. Status Fresh. Aroma This strain has a bold aroma that commands attention, much like Gary Payton’s on-court persona. Strong notes of gas and burnt rubber immediately hit the senses, with subtle undertones of earthiness and sweetness rounding out the profile. It’s the kind of aroma that stays with you, much like Payton’s highlight reels - unforgettable. Flavor The flavor profile of Gary Payton is a full-court press on your palate. The dominant gassy and fuel notes provide a robust baseline, while softer, sweeter herbal undertones create a smooth finish. It’s the cannabis equivalent of watching a seamless alley-oop - dynamic, balanced, and deeply satisfying. Lineage Gary Payton is the product of a genetic crossover between "The Y" and Snowman, bred by Powerzzzup. Like the perfect pick-and-roll, this lineage combines sativa-dominant and hybrid genetics to create a balanced hybrid strain (50% indica, 50% sativa) with power and finesse. Effects The effects of Gary Payton are as versatile as the player himself. An initial euphoric boost in mood and energy hits you like a fast break, sharpening your focus and inspiring creativity. As the high progresses, a full-body relaxation sets in, much like the relief of sinking a game-winning shot. Users often report feeling uplifted, sociable, and calm - a combination that mirrors the joy and focus of watching Payton control a game. Conclusion Cookies' Gary Payton strain, cultivated by Alt Sol and available at Embers DC , is a masterclass in balance and intensity. From its gassy aroma to its uplifting effects, this strain is like a tribute to the player’s career - a perfect mix of energy, focus, and relaxation. Whether you’re diving into creative work or winding down after a long day, Gary Payton ensures you’re doing so with the smooth confidence of an NBA legend. The Glove may have retired, but this strain carries his legacy into the cannabis world with style.

Strain : Blue Sharpies Service : Adegoke Service Type : DC Dispensary Overall Rating : 9.4/10 Lean : Indica Dominant Initial Thoughts Washington DC medical cannabis dispensary, Adegoke , formerly Herbal Alternatives, offers this Blue Sharpies  strain, cultivated by Alt Sol, alongside an impressive collection of edibles and vapes. In this report, we'll dive into this exquisite indica dominant hybrid and show you why we think it's one that can help you keep your week as pungently vibrant as a freshly uncapped marker. ✍ It's a strain that sounds like it could inspire you to doodle on your sneakers or, at the very least, make you feel like you’re starring in an art school comedy. With a THC content of 22.86%, it’s got enough kick to make you wonder if you’ve accidentally sniffed a real blue marker. Appearance These buds are a visual treat, with bright-green speckled purple patches, like someone got carried away with a paintbrush. Coated in a layer of frosty trichomes, they sparkle under the light, and the orange pistils add a pop of color that’s almost too pretty to break apart. Status Fresh. Aroma Cracking open a jar of Blue Sharpies is like walking into an art supply store a stealing all the caps from every marker. The dominant scent is a bold, chemical whiff that’s unmistakably reminiscent of a permanent marker—hence the name—blended with skunky lemon and a whisper of floral sweetness. It’s potent enough to make you check your hands for ink stains, but the citrus and floral notes keep it from being too overwhelming. Flavor Inhale, and the flavor profile delivers a skunky punch upfront, followed by a bright citrus burst. The floral undertones sneak in on the exhale, rounding out the experience with a smooth, almost perfume-like finish. Thanks to caryophyllene, limonene, and humulene, it’s a complex taste that’s part funky, part fresh. Bold but balanced, it leaves your taste buds intrigued rather than scribbled on. Lineage Blue Sharpies, also known as Sharpiez, is a crafty indica-hybrid from a cross of Permanent Marker and Zoap. Permanent Marker, known for its chemical, diesel-like edge, brings the skunky, bold backbone, while Zoap adds a fruity, floral twist that softens the vibe. Cultivated by Alt Sol, a DC favorite for rare phenotypes, this strain’s moderate THC level and terpene profile create a dynamic sensory experience that’s as layered as a kindergarten mural. Effects This strain hits like a wave of euphoria that could have you giggling at your own doodles or debating the meaning of life with your cat. The Blue Sharpies  high is social and uplifting, perfect for sparking creativity during an art jam or fueling a snack run that ends with you inventing a new sandwich. As an indica-hybrid, it also brings a relaxing undertone, easing tension without gluing you to the couch. It’s like the strain’s saying, “Go paint a masterpiece, but maybe eat some chips first.” Ideal for stress relief or a fun hangout, it keeps things light and playful. Conclusion Blue Sharpies is a vibrant indica dominant hybrid that delivers a bold sensory experience with its skunky, citrusy aroma and flavor. Its euphoric, social effects make it a great pick for creative pursuits or laid-back gatherings, while the relaxing edge keeps you grounded. It’s the cannabis equivalent of a blue marker that never runs dry—bold, fun, and ready to leave a mark.

Strain : Matanuska Thunder F**ck Dispensary : Story - Mechanicsville Market : Maryland Recreational Overall Rating : 8.9/10 Lean : Sativa Initial Thoughts Looking back on the notes from my last encounter with Matanuska Thunderf*ck I described the overall experience as being"like a yeti on Mountain Dew." Of course, this whole trip down memory lane was spawned when I saw it on the menu over at Story Dispensary in Mechanicsville, MD. It had been a while, but the description was enticing given my current affinity for both Afghani and landrace sativas. This and wonder of wether I could recreate the experience from before made me come to the decision that I had no choice but to pick some up. Back at my house, I ripped open the bag and it was like unleashing a gust of Alaskan wilderness into my living room. As a DMV cannabis critic with a knack for sniffing out singular strains, I was simply thunderstruck . The Story staff’s warm smiles and savvy tips had made the pickup a pure joy, but now, holding the jar in my hands, the small, bright green, densely packed buds shimmered under the lamp. Their phenomenal aroma - sharp pine, fiery spice, and a bold anise-citrus haze - hit me like a mountain storm, electric and untamed. Appearance These compact buds, are a force: vivid green, tight as granite, and cloaked in a trichome sheen that glints like frost on a pine bough. Orange pistils streak through like embers, lending an emphatic vibrancy to their small but mighty frame. They’re not showboats, just quietly commanding, with a density that promises quality in every pinch. Status Fresh Aroma The scent is a primal roar: sharp pine surges first, crisp and resinous, followed by a spicy kick that tingles like cracked pepper in a storm. Anise and citrus - lemony Haze vibes - weave through, bold and funky, with an earthy backbone grounding the significant terpene content. It’s a thunder-ously  arresting aroma, raw enough to rattle your senses yet layered enough to keep you nosing the jar like it’s hiding secrets. Flavor The inhale is a rugged symphony: piney sharpness leads, bold and crisp, with spicy notes snapping like kindling. Anise and citrus Haze follow, tangy and electric, while a faint earthy hum tempers the finish, likely linalool and caryophyllene smoothing the edges. Fade Co.’s finesse crafts a thunder-rific flavor that’s intense yet balanced, lingering like a tale told by a campfire. Lineage Matanuska Thunder F*ck, a sativa born from Afghani’s earthy heft and an Unknown Alaskan Landrace’s wild vigor, is a strain with roots as deep as the tundra. Fade Co.’s take channels its heritage - piney, spicy, and high-octane - with a Haze-like citrus lift that electrifies. It’s a genetic spark, built to ignite any session. Effects The high hits like a bolt: a cerebral rush sparks euphoria and clarity, perfect for manic mornings or diving into a creative whirl. It’s thundering energy without jitters, followed by a light body calm that eases tension while keeping you sharp. This two-hour buzz is lively yet grounded, ideal for swapping stories or chasing a solo epiphany. Conclusion This Matanuska Thunder F*ck from Story Dispensary in Mechanicsville is a pine-spiked, citrus-charged freak of nature crafted with raw precision. It’s the strain for DMV days when you need a zesty jolt with staying power. Story’s Mechanicsville team, with their heartfelt expertise, makes every visit a highlight. Snag this gem today and let its spicy roar light up your world. You might even find yourself saying "f*ck yeah!" *Medical cannabis is for certified/qualifying patients only. Must be at least 21+ years old to view content.

Strain : Poonesia Dispensary : CULTA, Baltimore   Market : Maryland Recreational Overall Rating : 8.9/10 Lean : Balanced Hybrid Initial Thoughts Let's be real—Poonesia might be one of the funniest strain names to hit Maryland dispensaries, and it demands an explanation. Is it a play on Poochie Love, its notable parent strain? Is it a subtle nod to its effects, which might transport you to a blissfully dazed mental vacation? Or did someone at CULTA just decide to have a little fun with this release? Whatever the case, the hype is real, and getting my hands on some of CULTA’s in-house genetics before they hit the market felt like being invited to the cool kids' table in high school—except this time, I actually  belong here. CULTA has already built a dedicated following with Poochie Love, and by crossing it with Amnesia OG, they’ve created something fresh while still keeping that classic funk that made the original so popular. With 4% terpenes, insane trichome coverage, and an aroma that practically jumps out of the jar, Poonesia demands attention from the moment you crack the seal. Appearance One of the biggest perks of snagging this batch was how fresh it was—packaged just five days before I picked it up. That meant the trichomes were perfectly intact, preserving every bit of flavor, aroma, and potency. Under a jeweler’s loupe, the trichome coverage exceeded 75%, with the heads fully developed and bursting with resin. The bud structure was true to CULTA’s meticulous cultivation—dense yet naturally formed, with deep greens and fiery orange pistils giving it an eye-catching contrast. The trim was a bit looser than some might prefer, but personally, I’ll take a little extra leaf over something that looks like it was put through a chainsaw any day. Status Fresh. Aroma From the moment I cracked the jar, the OG lineage announced itself loud and clear—with the subtlety of a firework. The first wave of terps delivered a rush of fresh leather, dried pine needles, petrichor (that earthy "after the rain" smell), and wet riverbank. As the aromas settled, the undertones evolved into something deceptively complex. Hints of vanilla frosting, fresh corn flakes, and cake dough made their way into the mix, adding a surprisingly sweet twist to an otherwise bold and earthy profile. This sneaky complexity had me sticking my nose back in the jar repeatedly, trying to catch one more note before sealing it up again. Flavor If the aroma was a journey, the flavor was a full-blown expedition. A lot of the earthy, pine, and leather notes from the nose carried over seamlessly, but the sweet elements faded into the background, making way for a rich, savory experience. The first hit hit like a cup of espresso, with robust coffee, raw chocolate, and a sharp bite of peppered beef jerky dominating the profile. As the joint burned down, new layers emerged, turning each hit into an evolving experience. The exhale was thick and smooth, leaving behind a lingering matcha-like finish that coated my tongue long after the smoke cleared. I found myself checking in on the flavor so often that I burned through more of the joint than expected—a clear sign of an engaging smoking experience. Lineage Poonesia is a hybrid strain created by crossing: Poochie Love Amnesia OG This carefully selected pairing blends mental stimulation with physical relaxation, creating a strain that’s adaptable to different moods and activities. Effects The label classifies Poonesia as a hybrid, but the effects had a bit more range than your typical middle-of-the-road strain. Mental Effects: The high starts with a rush of creative energy, sharpening focus just enough to keep you engaged without making you jittery. Tasks felt effortless, and my thoughts flowed naturally, without feeling scattered or overwhelming. Physical Effects: While my mind was active and stimulated, my body felt calm and grounded, thanks to the elevated Pinene content. Some people might hesitate when they hear high Pinene, but the other terpenes balance it out beautifully, preventing any overactive mental loops. Overall Sensation: Nothing felt forced. Time didn’t slow down or speed up, everything just flowed naturally. If I was focused on something, I stayed focused. If I wanted to zone out, I could do that too. It was a choose-your-own-adventure kind of high, and I was all in. Conclusion Poonesia lives up to the CULTA reputation, delivering a deep, complex experience that captures the best of both parent strains. The aroma alone is enough to keep you coming back, but the flavor and balanced effects make it something special. CULTA has once again proven why they remain one of the most respected names in Maryland cannabis, and Poonesia is further proof of their genetic expertise. Much appreciation to the crew at CULTA for letting me get my hands on this batch before it hits dispensaries, and a special shoutout to my budtender Tony at their Baltimore location for the help with everything as well! If you see Poonesia on the shelf, just know—you're about to embark on a wild, flavor-packed ride. And honestly, who wouldn’t want to say they smoked Poonesia? *Medical cannabis is for certified/qualifying patients only. Must be at least 21+ years old to view content.

Strain : Vanilla Velvet x 06 OG Dispensary : Jungle Boys, St Pete Market : Florida Medical Overall Rating : 9.5/10 Lean : Balanced Hybrid Initial Thoughts Upon first glance, Vanilla Velvet from Jungle Boys in St. Pete, Florida, looks like a premium treat—super frosty buds with a vibrant mix of purple and green hues that scream quality craftsmanship. It will undoubtedly lead to potent sessions, but doesn't overwhelm the senses right out of the gate. It's sort of like a velvet rope to a VIP lounge of relaxation. Status Fresh Aroma Cracking open the jar unleashes a wave of indulgent sweetness that's pure dessert in vapor form. Dominant notes of ripe, sour grapes mingle with a creamy, vanilla undertone, rounded out by subtle citrus zips from the limonene (clocking in at 0.83%). There's a faint earthy spice from beta-caryophyllene lurking in the background, but it's the whipped cream-like richness that lingers—making you want to bury your nose deeper, or risk missing out on this sniff-tastic symphony. Flavor The smoke lives up to the hype: an expansive inhale delivers that signature sour grape tang upfront, tart and juicy like biting into fresh fruit. Midway through, it transitions into a velvety whipped cream finish—smooth, decadent, and almost too indulgent to exhale. On the exhale, hints of creamy vanilla and a touch of herbal depth from linalool and beta-myrcene keep it balanced, leaving your palate coated in satisfaction without any harshness. It's a flavor profile that evolves beautifully, especially in a glass piece—proving once again that good things come to those who puff patiently. Lineage This hybrid beauty is a masterful cross of Runtz and Grapes N Cream, blending the candy-sweet euphoria of Runtz with the grape-forward creaminess of its partner. The result? A strain that inherits the best of both worlds—potent resin production (hello, 33.79% THCA) and a terpene stack heavy on limonene for that uplifting citrus edge, complemented by relaxing beta-caryophyllene and soothing linalool. It's like the lovechild of a fruit stand and a bakery, baked to perfection. Effects Vanilla Velvet hits with a balanced hybrid rush that starts cerebral and eases into full-body bliss. Within minutes, a happy, energetic buzz sparks creativity and smiles, perfect for low-key socializing or unwinding after a St. Pete beach day. As it builds, calm and relaxed waves wash over, melting tension without couch-lock—think euphoric floating rather than sedation. With low CBD (0.09%) and minor players like CBG (0.11%), it's all about that THC-driven joyride, lasting 2-3 hours without paranoia, even at higher doses. Just don't blame me if you end up philosophizing about the meaning of "velvet" at 3 a.m. Conclusion Vanilla Velvet is a standout from Jungle Boys ' St. Pete dispensary—a sensory symphony that's as delicious as it is effective for dialing in good vibes. If you're chasing a strain that marries bold flavors with feel-good effects, this one's a must-try. It's the kind of flower that turns a regular night into a velveteen evening.