Blueberry Banana - Takoma Wellness Center

Strain: Blueberry Banana

Dispensary: Takoma Wellness Center

Market: DC Medical Cannabis

Overall Rating: 9.2/10

Lean: Slightly Indica

Initial Thoughts

Walking into Takoma Wellness Center, I was ready to dissect this batch of Blueberry Banana as if I was a botanist with a vendetta. My first impression? It's got personality like a quirky uncle who shows up to family gatherings with a Hawaiian shirt and a questionable mustache. Except, this is one funky specimen that you actually do want to smell coming in the front door. And you would too given the Apples & Banana's in the lineage and what it can do for the ol' olfactory senses. 👃

Appearance

The buds are a visual treat, sporting a vibrant mix of lime-green and deep purple hues, like a tie-dye experiment that actually worked. Frosty trichomes coat the surface, giving it a sparkly sheen that screams, “I’m fancy, but I don’t brag.” Golden pistils curl through the nugs, adding a touch of flair, as if the plant decided to accessorize before hitting the dispensary shelf.

Status

Fresh.

Aroma

Stick your face in the bag and the scent hits like a fruit stand at a farmer's market. Ripe, earthy blueberries dominate, with a sweet banana note that’s less “artificial candy” and more “just-peeled perfection.” There’s a subtle earthy undertone, like the plant’s reminding you it’s still grounded in nature, not a smoothie shop. It’s the kind of aroma that makes you wonder if you should smoke it or blend it into a breakfast bowl.

Flavor

Inhale, and it’s like sipping a banana-berry smoothie that decided to moonlight as a cannabis strain. The berry notes are juicy and bright, while the banana adds a creamy sweetness that lingers. On the exhale, an earthy, gassy finish sneaks in to keep your taste buds guessing.

Lineage

Blueberry Banana comes from a cross of Apples & Bananas and Grape Gas, a pairing that sounds like a fruit basket and a fuel tank had a wild night. Apples & Bananas, a hybrid known for its fruity punch, brings sweet and tangy notes to the table. Grape Gas, with its gassy, grape-heavy profile, adds depth and a touch of funk. Together, they create a strain that’s both familiar and intriguing. The 2.84% total terpene content, featuring myrcene, linalool, limonene, and humulene, boosts the sensory experience and calming effects.

Effects

This strain delivers a balanced, calming high that’s like a warm hug from a friend who’s really good at yoga. It starts with a gentle cerebral lift, easing stress and making you feel like you could solve world peace—or at least organize your sock drawer. Then, a relaxing body buzz settles in, perfect for unwinding after a long day or convincing yourself that binge-watching a nature documentary is a personality trait. It’s not knock-you-out sedative but more like a “let’s chill without losing the plot” vibe. Ideal for anxiety or stress relief, it’s got a knack for making life feel less like a circus.

Conclusion

Blueberry Banana from Takoma Wellness Center is a delightful hybrid that balances fruity charm with earthy grit. Its vibrant appearance, inviting aroma, and layered flavor make it a sensory adventure, while the calming effects offer a reliable escape from life’s chaos. Whether you’re kicking back with friends or pretending you’re a philosopher staring at the ceiling, this strain delivers without overwhelming. It’s like the cannabis equivalent of a well-timed dad joke—comforting, amusing, and leaves you smiling.