• Toker's Guide

Utopia Haze - Top Secret DC

To date I would put much of the bud I've reviewed for Top Secret DC into a very distinguished category. I've been to plenty of dispensaries out west where I was in search of the caliber that Top Secret typically carries, and not found it. I think that speaks volumes about their dedication to quality.


Recently, I've noticed some old school exotic strains making an appearance on their menu. Malawi Gold - for example - was an incredible rendition of a classic land race strain. I got to try it, but when I went for reviews they were already sold out 🤦‍♂️ . This Utopia Haze continues this old-school-grown-new-school wave of perfection and, in fact, sets the bar just a little bit higher in my opinion.

If you've been following Toker's Guide long then you undoubtedly know about my near obsession with hazes. This haze varietal, however, isn't like many others you might come across. No, this overtly sativa dominant hybrid (90% sativa/10% indica) strain created through crossing Grass Dream and Brazilian Sativa has a tremendously complex aroma. Noticeably absent is an overwhelming citrus solvent smell (typical of many hazes) which, instead, has been replaced with an exotic woody/skunky-ness. As you continue to smell, a piney fruitiness begins to emerge as well. Overall, the scent is not unlike the cross between extremely ripe, fresh papaya and green tea. Like I said, a very complex aroma and, even though it's not totally haze-like, I'm a huge fan.


The flavor profile is similarly complex, except the woody/tea/skunky part is overwhelming, even spicy at first. Upon exhale the spiciness seems to tingle throughout your mouth. There are notes of mint, chocolate, and coffee. Soon the mix of flavors inundates all your senses while a rush of warm tingles runs up your spine and surrounds your head. The euphoria is strong with this one!


Then the haze takes hold and you're swept off on a mystical voyage in your mind, with enough energy to accomplish many tasks, but with an ironic lack of desire to maintain mental clarity. Try cleaning on this stuff and you'll spend three hours running around your house doing it while completely lost in your head (and with a big smile on your face).


Taking first place for Best Sativa in the 2008 High Time's Cannabis Cup, this batch of Utopia Haze is emblematic of the saying "an oldie but a goodie", but in this case you can scratch out "a goodie" and replace it with "I'll take all of it, thanks". Holler at Top Secret DC as fast as you can - I can't imagine this one will last long!

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