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Hey everyone! It's not quite Breaking News worthy....or is it? Maybe it should be? Regardless, I really wanted to make everyone aware of some really good tree coming out of Top Secret DC as I write this. It's called Eat My Cookie and it's a ridiculously strong, exotic, and super mysterious Cookie family hybrid. Check it out: I actually had this strain for the first time in LA. It's highly skunky and cake-like in both flavor and aroma and it hits like a freight train to your dome. Def. rip this one in the bong and enjoy your voyage to Narnia. Very, very euphoric indica tendencies, but weirdly still possessing enough energy to keep you from face planting in couch-lock pose. Ideally grown and smattered with heavy layers of white trichomes, its sexiness harkens to a handful of freshly baked sugar cookies, perhaps with purple and green sprinkles. Yet, maybe the most appropriate cookie would be, in fact, a fig newton. There's savory, a tinge of fruitiness, and it's quite sticky too. A cookie is a cookie, but "Eat My Cookie" is here to get you...baked? Overall, intriguing name, GREAT buzz, amazing tree. I hope you all get a chance to grab yours from Top Secret Dc! Have a great weekend!

I really hope I didn't just interrupt your Friday night ZOOM call with this super important announcement. Just kidding. I hope I did. This weed is better than any ZOOM call. After all, It might be my favorite indica of the summer. It's called Hasidic Grapes and it's brought to you (us) by the forever impressive Exotic Blooms. With tree like this these guys are putting serious pressure on the other players in DC. Heads up! Referring simply to the strain, Hasidic Grapes hails out of Souther California's (Coachella Valley no less) notorious King's Garden. It's a cross of Jew's Gold (aka Kosher Kush) and Grape Pie, which runs on the indica side of hybrid, and it often packs a 30%+ THC score when tested. In terms of flavor profile, this is truly as exotic as it gets. On one level it comes in as something like a blueberry muffin, then it exits about 80 shades of flavor to the left with something like grape hookah meets afghani spice rack. Just astoundingly complex and very hard to place - but mouthwatering at the same time. Looking into the structure and cultivation of this batch, there are literally no imperfections. It's basically been sand blasted with overtly starry trichomes and it has that crispy, crunchy sound under your fingers that lets you know just how well flushed and cured it is. Rip this one in a joint to get the most out of the exotic flavor. When you do, you'll notice the nearly spiritually strong effects overtaking you in no time. Vastly euphoric and ready to set you gently into your resting place for the rest of the evening like a warm fuzzy blanket, even the most seasoned smokers will be numbingly unwound by this one's indica bliss. To get yours hit up Exotic Blooms today and tell them "TokerGuide" sent you!

I hope everyone out there in the tokerverse has had a great weekend so far. Although I hear it's already sold out, I've also heard it might be coming back in the very near future. Therefore, I still wanted to share this amazing haze specimen I recently got (and should have reviewed faster) from Top Secret DC. I've said it many times on the platform - I am a HUGE fan of haze varietals. This, my friends, is a fantastic haze, and yet another phenomenal pheno, from the locally renowned Top Secret. As a cross between Goji O.G. and Super Lemon Haze, both heavy sativas, this strain has unyielding energy and the long-lasting heady effects known of hazes. It's super creativity spawning and can make you almost giddy to go and be active. Focus, however, may be a bit of a challenge as I often found myself zoning out, lost in thought while on a trail run. Still highly enjoyable, but don't go operating any forklifts, k? The most notable, most enjoyable aspect of this particular batch, imo, is its unique skew on the fruity haze aroma and flavor. Not only is this overtly anise-like, which is trademark for hazes, but it also has exotically fruity overtones - hence the Goji influence. It's truly remarkable how the terpenes come together to create such an addictively delicious fruity, hazy flavor. Can we get this in live resin soon guys? Please! So if you're into hazes, you HAVE to give this one a try. Even if you're just looking for a solid sativa to keep you going through the week, you need to check it out. If you subscribe to inventory alerts from Top Secret DC, they'll let you know precisely when it's back on the menu - and I'll be one of the first people in line for more!

Well folks, Exotic Blooms has done it again! If you regard yourself as any kind of connoisseur, you need to check out this absolutely fabulous batch of Zack's Pie they currently have in their gift inventory. An evenly balanced hybrid, Zack's Pie is a formidably strong, modern strain with fan favorite Wedding Cake and flavor monster Grape Pie as its parents. I thought that many of the still pictures of the sample I received didn't do her justice, so I switched to video for the below: As you can see, this fresh and frosty cola top is just littered with trichomes and an amalgamation of exotic blues, purples, and greens. It's as easy to say as it is to see that this bud is phenomenal - the epitome of "designer" flower if you will. In nose and flavor, the take away is pie 🥧 . Like a warm, fresh-from-the-oven, fruit pie sitting in the window of a shop you're passing by on warm sunny day. What fruit? Personally, I think it changes with the hit. Sometimes it's cherry, sometimes it's blueberry, others it's grape. Regardless, it's so utterly delicious, maybe it could be its own fruit pie. The zackberry? A zackberry pie? 😂🤦‍♂️ Maybe the more important question besides "what fruit pie does this taste like" is "who is Zack?" Could it be a reference to the Zack's pie incident from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody? - I swear this is a thing. Could it be one of the low key farmers in the Jungle Boys collective? Incidentally, the Jungle Boys, out of So. Cal are the originators of Zack's Pie. If you're not familiar with the Jungle Boys, they are a collective of farmers that have been committed to growing clean and potent cannabis for over a decade now. Known by pros as "prolific phenotype hunters" they have been responsible for such works as Mimosa, Jungle Cake, and Sundae Driver. When it comes to sessions with this specimen, I definitely recommend a new methodology I've been experimenting with - the flower vape to 18" glass bong via adapter. In fact, I'm going to write a whole article on this contraption shortly. Anyhow, the vape makes the Zack's Pie taste AWESOME, but when you chill that vapor with a little ice water...BOOM goes the flavor! The effects of this batch are very much in-line with what you would expect from a 50/50 hybrid with, perhaps, a slight lean to the more relaxation-oriented activities. I found it highly euphoric and without much mental cloudiness. In fact, you could say that the high was evenly spread between head buzz and body buzz - certainly a nice treat. If you're looking for a high potency, designer-level, let's get BAKED and chill out kind of bud for your weekend, look no further. Hit up Exotic Blooms to get yours today!

You know who loves citrus more than a pirate fighting off scurvy? Me. My name is Jeremy, and I am a citrus addict. Our friends at DMV Organics have another fantastic concentrate for you today, Orange Crush Raw solvent-less THC crystals. I’ve discussed other concentrates with you before (here), and this is a similar product that I enjoy just as much if not more. Concentrates can come in a variety of flavors and textures. Freshly harvested cannabis typically yields a saucier, terpene rich concentrate. After nucleation, the Orange Crush has been recombined with its own natural terpenes, providing a rich flavorful product that is saucier than some concentrates, yet still very manageable and easy to handle. I didn’t find myself struggling to use this product, and I wasn’t making a huge mess or getting it everywhere, which I appreciate. Diamonds and Crystals are extremely potent cannabis products, potentially being four times stronger than flower. Though a sativa dominant hybrid, the Orange Crush provides a well-balanced feeling for me. Known for its citrusy flavor, Orange Crush comes to us from BC Growers Association. A powerful, energetic, uplifting high can be expected, and patients often use Orange Crush to combat chronic pain, stress, anxiety, and depression. I really enjoyed the balance between the mind and body of this strain; my body felt great and my mind was energized, positive, and focused. The sweet orange flavor just blows my mind. I’ve enjoyed this product several times now and I’m still surprised each time. I’m reminded of an orange creamsicle. The flavor profile alone makes this an experience worth having. Overall, the Orange Crush feels great physically, but the taste is what keeps me coming back again and again. If you’re a discerning cannabis connoisseur who enjoys the finer things in life, do yourself a favor and try this little treat. Life is too short, and this is something special that you do not want to miss out on, so give DMV Organics a shout today! PS: Remember that Diamonds and Crystals must be heated to 350 degrees for use, so adjust your device accordingly. I used a dab rig and a small handheld device for concentrates, and the Orange Crush worked perfectly well with both.

Good morning tokers! If you haven't made your way over to the newly updated Top Secret site and menu I recommend that you do. They have added tremendous variety in the form of indoor, premium indoor, and "sun-grown" flower and they're all worth a sample. Today, however, we're going to be talking about one of their indoor premium gifts, the Super Silver Cookies. They are completely f'ing amazeballs. You should get them, invite some friends over, socially distance, and roll personal joints for everyone. You'll all love it. You should also twist it up, and go hiking at the crack of dawn. At least that's how excited I was about this stuff - I had trouble sleeping because I was so stoked to toke down on it the next morning. Seriously, this is some of the most joyful, blissful, energetic, and delectable bud I've had in a while. The first thing you'll notice about this bud upon receipt is it's remarkably neon green color. It also has flecks of silver-ish blue sprinkled throughout and extremely starry trichomes on the interior. No doubt it gets some of its great looks from it's Super Silver Haze parent. The other parent, Girl Scout Cookies, lends it a sugary-sweet cookie aroma and flavor that's just to die for. It also likely adds potency and density as Hazes tend to be more fluffy and may not register as high as some of the newer age strains (like GSC). Ultimately this is one of the more perfect pairings I could ask for when it comes to blockbuster hybrids. To get yours hit up Top Secret DC today!

Greeting tokers! Jeremy Rider here reviewing another great gift from our friends at DMV Organics! Today we’ll be discussing the Large Sample Gummy bag they've put together with a variety of their awesome gummies, featuring various dosages. I swore an oath to uphold journalistic integrity, so I spent a week researching each gummy dosage from a sober baseline...several times...in the name of science? Quit sweating me I’m out here in these streets figuring it all out so that you, dear reader, don’t have to! I also might be the only writer on staff that is SUPER into edibles but whatever, let’s get into it! First off, as I’m sure many of you know, eating cannabis & inhaling it are too very different experiences. I’m not a doctor, so I encourage you to experiment responsibly. Eating cannabis products may affect you differently than what you’re used to, and definitely don’t operate any automobiles or heavy machinery. An individual’s body weight and metabolic rate, as well as what they’ve eaten or drank throughout the day, can all factor into the experience of edibles. The large sample gummy bag features a variety of gummy shapes and dosages. Using organic distillate of an Everest X Dark Star flower, a 50/50 indica/sativa hybrid, the gummies are made right here in dc. This distillate, as I mentioned in my prior brownie review, is incredibly potent and has virtually no cannabis flavor. The gummies are also packaged really well every time, so they’re nice and fresh. In case they somehow get lost in the back of your fridge (doubtful) there’s an expiration date included. Across all gummies, the flavor and texture is excellent including the sour gummy option - where I have seen other vendors often falter. As a long time recreational enthusiast I have a lot of experience with edibles. I’m also a lean guy with a fast metabolism and I’ve always seemed to have a pretty strong tolerance. After spending a week sampling each of these gummies' individual dosage from a completely sober baseline, my experiences were as follows: Starting off with the lowest dosage, the gummy bear sports a 15mg dose. I really enjoyed this as I felt it was a great micro-dose. If you’re looking to just get a little tingle, this is for you. Personally I really enjoy micro-dosing as I feel it allows me to still run around doing boring grown up stuff without getting too lit. In these cases I am still able to move and function safely, still able to get all my work done. The bear probably kicked in within 45 minutes of consuming, and I was feeling pretty much sober again in a couple hours. I also toyed with having 2 or 3 bears at a time, and really enjoyed being able to increase my dosage in small 15mg increments. For me personally, anything below 50mg's is a walk in the park, anything above that and I’ve got to start taking on activities of a less serious nature. Next up, the gummy worms. Big jump in dosage from the bears as the worms are carrying a 75mg dose. I tried this after I’d gotten home from work and within the hour had a very solid buzz going on. Honestly, this was quite an intoxicating dose as I spent the evening relaxing at home and then slept very, very well that night. The next format is the 100mg gummy rings, and…well...these are no joke. Within an hour of eating i was quite buzzed and definitely incapable of operating anything responsibly - NO vehicles people! Several hours later I was still feeling the effects of the ring. Do not underestimate the strength of a 100mg dose! Finally, the gummy leaf. At 200mg per dose, this is the strongest, most potent gummy available from DMV Organics. Needless to say, this got me VERY high and I pretty much melted into my couch, snuggling with my dog, where I subsequently passed out. Took about an hour to kick in and I was feeling it for probably about six hours. Definitely unable to even pretend to be a grownup in this scenario, I was still feeling slight effects the next day. NOT for the newbies at ALL! With the total pack containing 10 Bears, 2 Worms, 2 Rings, and one Leaf, the Large Sample Gummy Bag is a delicious and highly effective way to spread your edible consumption across a significant period of time. Note that DMV Organics is also able to accommodate dietary restrictions and requirements based on order volumes, so if you’re looking for something specific, or if you’re in search of some fantastic gummies, reach out to them today!

For the Sunday evening edition of Toker's Guide, I'd like to direct your attention to a vaping apparatus that is immensely popular on the west coast (and other states with recreational cannabis laws). It's called Plug and Play and in the DC market it is carried as an awesome gift from I-71 power player Exotic Blooms. Well, actually, to be more specific, the device is called "Play" and the cartridge is called "Plug". In this case, the Plug's flavor is Pineapple Cooler. One of the best things about the Play is that not only is it exceptionally lightweight and durable, it also holds a charge for over 350 puffs. You can kind of equate it with a more luxurious, more robustly engineered Juul battery. I also thought it was pretty cool that the packaging for it opened up like an old school VHS tape, but leery that a significant percentage of my readership may not be familiar with a VCR at all. The Plug, similar to a more advanced Juul Pod, has even more intriguing packaging. In fact, it's anti-counterfeiting tech is considerably more robust than the STIIIZY I recently reviewed. Note that, at the outset, it has a push button and a no-return, slide out drawer built into the box. However, as an additional layer of security of theirs also has a QR code that links to verification system, Cannverify, and a scratch off area with a unique identifier. With all these protections in place, one has to assume that people must be consistently trying to knock off this product - a good sign of its caliber and quality. Diving into what you're probably waiting to hear about, the functionality, the puff...does it hit? You know it does. It's immensely tasty and OH SO strong. It's not quite the smoothness that the STIIIZY is regarded for...yet, is that what you want ALL the time? Sure you can tone it down a bit and take smaller, smoother puffs, but with the Plug and Play you can also take a blast that will deliver what you want, at a higher level of intensity, immediately. In this case what you'll feel after taking a blast of the Pineapple Cooler is a head rush, then headband, then a complete inundation of a Pineapple, Piña Colada-like flavor. It's definitely on the sativa side of things, and it certainly leaves you, as the Plug and Play site claims, happy and uplifted. It's also made from Grade A solvent-free cannabis oil. If you're looking for a strong-hitting, mouthwateringly delicious, uplifting, vaping experience from a brand that has trust and security baked into their packaging at the highest levels, then I suggest you give Exotic Blooms a shout today!

Good Morning! It's time for a brunch toke session and today I'm taking along this insanely good Space Monkey from Joint Delivery. Space Monkey is a very indica heavy hybrid (85/15) with highly euphoric effects. But wait, keen readers might be asking, why would I want to, effectively, wake and bake with an indica? Well friends, some mornings you just want to relax and be mostly sedentary on the couch. Wether you're hung over (this is an excellent treatment btw) or just in need of some serious rejuvenation after a hectic week (my present scenario), this bud's definitely for you. With Gorilla Glue #4 and Wookie #15 as parents it's humorous to note the forging of the name implies that if Chewbacca and a gorilla created a wookie/ape hybrid it would be, in fact, a space monkey. The name also (correctly) implies the incredible speed with which this strain can send you hurling into an out of this world high. Expect the couch lock to set in quick with this one and, much like how wookies have been known to tear people's limbs off when they lose, it may render use of your arms and legs futile. In fact, as I write this, it's getting harder and harder to type because the gloriously comfy tingles of a Space Monkey buzz is beginning to overtake me. In terms of the caliber of this bud, I think the pictures more than speak for themselves. The coloration is a smattering of green and purple hues. The trichomes are perfectly mature and twinkling like little stars under the light above the macro lens. It's quite crisp to the touch and you would think it to be brittle, however it's still retained its resinous stickiness and, therefore, doesn't break up that easily. Face it, you're gonna have it all over your fingers like glue. The aroma is like that of a Gorilla Glue with, perhaps, a little extra skunky funkiness. In taste, however, things get much more exotic as there are notes of what seems to be similar to a green tea mixed in with the skunk. Interestingly, the complexity of the flavor combined with the unfocused joy of the buzz might make you ponder, trying to place the flavor, for a little too long. If you want to make it a mellow, healing-oriented kind of day, or if you just want to take a millennium falcon ride to Narnia, this Space Monkey isn't in a galaxy far, far away. In fact, it'll come to you, at near light speed, by setting up a delivery with Joint Delivery today. PS: Don't forget to use promo code "TokersGuide" for $10 off.

Happy Hump Day! Need a little pep in your step to help get you through the week? This FIRE Durban Poison from our friends Exotic Blooms is absolutely exceptional and has enough sativa status energy to get you to Saturday...and beyond! If you're not familiar with Durban Poison, and you're a sativa lover, you HAVE to try this. If you ARE familiar with the "Durb", you still HAVE to try this batch. It's hands down the best Durban I've ever had - and I've had it A LOT. Its piney forward haziness is obvious from first whiff, but soon gives way to citrus with hints of lemon and grapefruit, but also...pear? Uggghhhh, the smell alone is seriously to die for and it completely translates to the flavor as well. In a vape, good luck setting it down. I also highly recommend a fat cone of this baby right before some pool or beach time - it just goes so perfectly with the sunshine, adding to the comforting warm glow on your shoulders. In terms of genetic background and lineage, this strain comes from an original landrace sativa variety out of South Africa. The story goes, that famed cannabis evangelist and explorer, Ed Rosenthal, successfully brought it to North America in the 1970's where it was instantly well received. Since then it has been the parent (and great grand parent) of numerous sativa and haze-oriented offspring. From a texture standpoint, it's so notably soft and subtle to the touch, yet supremely sticky. Like everything from Exotic Blooms it was groomed to perfection from start to finish. Yet, for me, this one shines a bit above the rest simply because of the sheer size and prevalence of its trichomes. I know I'm always harping on trichomes this, trichomes that, but seriously, this time it's completely absurd! So whether it's the emphatically energetic tree you need to help get you through your week, or it's the centerpiece of your stash for this upcoming weekend, I urge you to consider this Durban Poison as your selection for daytime use. I've got mine ready to burn and you can too - just hit up Exotic Blooms today! And don't forget to mention promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" to get $10 off your order!

This batch of Grape Stomper of the "JD Flowers" line from the always fantastic Joint Delivery has the most delightfully strong grape aroma I've smelled on a flower...maybe...ever? It's a strong statement, but here I sit with a sizable jar of several different impeccable varieties, each with their own top-shelf aroma to flex, and the most pronounced aroma to first emerge from under its lid is irrefutably grape. It's not simply the type of grape aroma and flavor that you get from a grape juice. No, it's much more comparable to the grape-ness of Big League Chew or Grapalicious bubblegum. I mean, shouldn't Grape Stomper BE the name of a grape flavored bubblegum at this point? As a cross of Chemdawg Sour Diesel and the ever exotic Purple Elephant strains, both heavily stimulating on the sativa spectrum, it's easy to gather how much energy this strain can generate. Sativa dominant might not quite cut it, though the claimed hereditary line is 70/30. Yet, even though it's intensely invigorating, it's not overpowering and certainly did not elicit any anxiety-oriented effects for your's truly. In fact, quite the opposite - I found it to possess incredibly peaceful and creativity inspiring mental effects. At the end of the day, however, you definitely don't want to use this one at the end of the day😉 . Daytime only! Cultivator's note: the layers of trichomes on this batch suggest pure professionals of the highest order and, likely, extensive use of CO2. Note that properly managed CO2 supplementation during budding/flowering can not only increase overall yield, but also spur intense trichome growth. Of course, genetics play a huge role and not every plant will be able to max out trichomes to this level. Regardless, bravo 👏 If you want to taste some truly immense, truly exotic, grape stomping flavor, or if you're into inspiring, energetic, sativa-heavy hybrids, do yourself a flavor...I mean favor...and hit up Joint Delivery today!

When I've found myself needing to partake/medicate in places that are a bit more discreet in the recent past I've typically turned to concentrate pens and various Atmos rigs and wax cartridges (see past article here). Prior to that I was using the occasional vape cartridge (typically live resin), but halted all such activity when the EVALE issues presented themselves back in 2018/2019. Doesn't EVALE seem like SO long ago given all the COVID ridiculousness since? Anyhow, I recently found myself needing to be highly discreet again and, in a serendipitous turn of events Exotic Blooms simultaneously asked me to review their new STIIIZY line of THC pods, specifically the Skywalker OG strain. I was more than happy to oblige 🤗 While I've known Exotic Blooms has had phenomenal flower for some time now (see their other reviews), what I didn't know was that they also carried equally as amazing concentrate gifts. Shame on me. I had no idea what I was missing as I could have fallen in love with this whole SIIIZY thing a lot earlier. Why's that? First off, a quick search of STIIIZY products from across the webisphere reveals consistently stellar reviews. There's also trust built into their system in the form of excellent tamper proof and hard to counterfeit packaging. Yes, cellophane is easy to re-wrap, but there's a button on the side (as seen below) that is the only way to release the pod and, when pushed, cannot be replaced into it's previous state. This way I can be highly confident that the pod and its contents have not been diluted or replaced with an inferior, or even dangerous substance. Similarly the starter kit has tamper proofing and ways to verify the model number online. Beautiful! Without a doubt the best thing about STIIIZY, however, is how UNBELIEVABLY smooth the experience is. I could literally sit with the thing in my mouth and breath normally without any burn, cough, or nose tingle. It's quite shocking actually. And for what it offers in astounding smoothness, it doesn't sacrifice anything in potency. I woke up with the STIIIZY stuck to my lips, my lips stuck to my teeth and my tongue a dehydrated shrivel of what it once was in the parched, cotton-filled chamber of my mouth. This stuff is incredibly stoning! The buzz is typically euphoric of a strong Indica varietal and the taste too is right on point with the flavor of the Skywalker OG I can recall so well from my cultivation days. This makes perfect sense given STIIIZY's clear attention to detail relative to the quality of their "botanically derived terpenes" and commitment to "uphold a high level of purity" - as noted on their website. I have to say that the flavor, effects, and experience overall have been exemplary of impeccable quality - not to mention highly, highly enjoyable. Big thanks to Exotic Blooms for providing the starter kit and the pod, you have created an instant fan. I absolutely love this thing! Give them a shout today and jump on the STIIIZY train with me you guys!