This SMO is GMO crossed with Sour Diesel and currently available from super kind and courteous DC i-71 delivery service, The Gift Givers. While GMO tends to be highly sedative and heavily indica dominant, the Sour Diesel will take anything it's crossed with and steer it hard to towards the energetic and inhibition suppressing end of the sativa spectrum. The result in the case of this SMO, however, seems to be more like the cumulative effects of both parental inputs, which yields a remarkably balanced offspring. The most notable aspect about this bud is its stark gassy aroma and savory flavor. Of course, that it's "the gas" should come as no surprise given the diesel influence. Yet, with hints of what seems like sweet roasted garlic, the GMO (aka Garlic Cookies) wields its olfactory influence with similar power. Perhaps that's why the overall profile ends up being so savory, gassy, and almost addictive to your palate. I also found myself quite social after rolling up some SMO and when talking to people there was a little extra twinkle in my eye from the intensity of the all encompassing buzz I was experiencing. Note that you'll likely have the energy to take on a healthy to do list on this batch, but with the intoxicating aspects impeding mental clarity you may just end up making a bigger mess in the confusion. Either way keep sweet snacks on hand to balance the savory aftertaste and tremendous munchies. To get some of this excellent, highly aromatic SMO for yourself just hit up The Gift Givers ASAP. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

We're super pumped to review long time DC i-71 service Exotic Organics, known for some of the best exotic flower around the District. First up, this phenomenal "Balla Berries ZAZA". With that funky/fruity and gassy/skunky combo this is truly worthy of having "ZAZA" in the name. We're not entirely sure if this is a cross between the Balla Berries and ZAZA strains or the breeders of Balla Berries version of ZAZA. Balla Berries the strain is quite mysterious in origin and ZAZA is said to be the offspring of Blue Dream and Rare Dankness. Wherever it comes from and whatever you call it, this batch is a case of premium designer bud where the creators and cultivators may not really want to fully disclose lineage. I think the terms "rare", "dankness", "zaza", "balla", and "dream" all apply to be honest, though. We've been calling it "Berry Zaza" for short. It's fresh and still on the sticky side with white trichomes intact and a robustly dense structure. The deep purples against the neon lime greens provide an ominous backdrop for the fiery orange hairs and the smattering of resin glands throughout. From looks alone you should know that this is a serious, high potency specimen. There's some debate among Toker's Guide staff about how this leans. Many say that it has some of the head-rushing intensity and onset of a more sativa-leaning varietal. Others notice the latent, but heavy-handed, body buzz and other relaxing effects implying they feel it may be more on the indica spectrum. For me, it's clearly very strong, but balanced, with the best of both worlds coming together. This batch speaks to me through the bong, but it can easily bring a mega-punch to any thing you might be rolling up as well. Either way, I want you to note the complexity of the flavor on the exhale and the aftertaste. Pro tip: Bring a glass of ice water to your sesh and sip it immediately after taking a hit and before you exhale. Then tell me what flavors you experience. 🤗 To get some of this epic Balla Berries ZAZA for your own collection of designer gifts just hit up Exotic Organics ASAP. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

Jealousy, a cross of Sherbert and Gelato #41, and Kush Mintz (Bubba Kush x Animal Mints) are bred to produce this highly potent indica dominant hybrid gift from DC i-71 delivery service, Buddha Buddy. Fully trich'd out, neon green, and flecked with purple, you gotta wonder: did the "Jealousy" part come from the way the other plants in the grow room looked at them? 😂 They come in these thin and nearly airtight Buddha Buddy jars (seen below), which we appreciate for their ability to preserve freshness and aroma. This is exemplified in the flavor which is earthy, spicy, and slightly fruity - like many exotic kush varietals we encounter in travels out west. The texture is still pliable and the structure of this batch is certainly on the fluffier side of the indica spectrum. The buds we got were smaller, but this was by chance and we understand there are larger buds throughout as well. Regardless of size, their strength was undisputed and the sample immediately slid into my nighttime rotation. The paradox of feeling both lighter than air and weighed down to my chair was what I found myself pondering, deep in thought, after pulling a few tubes. Soon after the highly euphoric body buzz whisked me away and a more dreamy state of solitude took hold. Next thing I knew I was waking up well-rested and with an appetite that would make an elephant, well... jealous? So don't be jelly, just give Buddha Buddy DC a shout today and pick up some Jealousy Kush Mintz for your own stash. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

Many OG Kush fans swear by King Louis XIII as their favorite, which says a lot given the other OG varietals available. I guess with a name literally fit for a king you would expect it to be pretty awesome. How does this King Louis XIII from DC i-71 storefront No Kids Allowed stack up? Read on to find out my liege. The aspects of this indica-heavy flower that we would consider "royal" or "fit for a king or queen" are its pronounced piney yet buttery flavor/aroma and its euphoria-filled buzz. The buzz alone is spectacular and could be characterized as coating you in a cozy blanket - maybe like one of those white ones with the tiny dark spots that you always see old royalty wearing. It is somewhat of an energetic buzz though. One that allows you to keep moving if you want to, but in what I could only describe as a heavily relaxed state - perhaps reclined on your throne while reciting some poetry. Any sense of a crown you might have, though, is just the royal body buzz migrating to your head. Also notable is the freshness of the batch with its bracts still pliable and sticky. Many OG's can have smaller trichome size meaning they won't look like the crazy indica designers that are out there in purple adorned with white frost. But, they can be every bit as potent (if not more so) with their emphasis on resin density and terpene levels. They say you can smell a joint of some truly fine OG from a mile away and still know it's an OG that you're smelling. Well in this case think of the powerful aroma like the trumpet fanfare that announces the arrival of distinguished royalty. To get some of this "Louis" for yourself head over to DC storefront No Kids Allowed ASAP. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

🇮🇪Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!🇮🇪 In celebration of the day we found the finest green, white, and orange specimen we could - this MAC Stomper from DC i-71 storefront Flight Pass. ...And what an astonishing specimen it is! With an aroma that is creamy like MAC, but with the addition of sugary grape notes, my friend and fellow stoner immediately compared it to a grape cream soda. A slightly indica leaning hybrid crossbreed of Miracle Alien Cookies (MAC) and Grape Stomper this batch is actually more "balanced" than other MAC samples I've experienced in the past. This is probably the result of the Grape Stomper's smidge of sativa influence. These buds are made for the bong! Fresh, fruity and sticky AF if you plan to roll this up for your Irish shenanigans and don't have a grinder on hand you may have a little trouble passing it to your friends. But, hey, at least you'll have green-coated fingers, which I feel is in the spirit of the holiday. So, to satisfy your inner leprechaun on this fine St. Paddy's Day stop by storefront Flight Pass DC and grab some MAC Stomper of your own. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

A powerful and nearly pure indica, this Purple Platinum Kush from DC i-71 storefront House of Herbs is so relaxing and meditative I've heard it described as "the stuff dreams are made of". For me, nearly every ache or pain in my body fluttered away as its kushy, stoney, full-body buzz set in. It was just the kind of treat-me-right I needed to veg out and catch up on some shows. Hours later I was still couch locked and ready to stream more stand-up comedy when I got an urge for some munchies from the kitchen. It was then that I realized I could barely stand up - all the feeling in my legs was gone. Frantic, I fumbled about for a moment or two trying desperately to figure out what was going on with my legs. Were they frozen in place because I had been laying there so long? Or, could it be that this bud made my legs turn.......platinum? 😱 Soon, however, my panic subsided and I was overcome with relief when the tingling of pins and needles started encompassing my legs. This was the moment I realized I wasn't having a medical issue, they had simply fallen asleep due to my horizontal posture on the couch. Slightly embarrassed, I laughed off my mental flub as a stoner moment and dragged myself to the kitchen. To get your hands on some of these highly potent, berry-hinted, and exotically kushy Purple Platinum buds just head over to storefront House of Herbs ASAP. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

Platinum Cookies from DC i-71 day spa and storefront, Euphoria Healing & Wellness, is a slightly indica leaning hybrid (60/40) descending from OG Kush and Durban Poison. Over the years, she’s won numerous Cannabis Cup awards and proved herself to be an impressive addition to the Girl Scout Cookies line. She deserves her name and all the connotations that come with it! Upon opening the package, your olfactory sense will be flooded with pine and fuel thanks to her high levels of caryophyllene and myrcene. Terpinolene, limonene, and ocimene also make appearances - you’ll notice candied berries coating your mouth after exhaling her silky, milk-white smoke. The high is a full-body stone, whereas your mind is catapulted to another planet. I’m not sure I’d recommend this for a wake and bake session; but if you’re searching for something to help you unwind after a long day, look no further. An all-around pleasant smoke, Platinum Cookies is A1 and the Mecca of stress relief. When in direct light, you’ll see the “platinum” (no overstatement) coating of trichs from across the room. They cover each and every inch of these dense, sage green nugs, that are almost impossible to break up by hand, with burnt orange pistils dispersed throughout. The high lasts for hours; your mind soaring through the clouds, body buzzing and tingling, completely at ease and melting into your surroundings. You might just smile yourself to sleep. Head to Euphoria DC today to get some Platinum Cookies for yourself. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

We've reviewed Gary Payton before, but it wasn't like this absolutely phenomenal batch from DC i-71 storefront Elevated Lounge. If you've been wondering what the buzz is all about, THIS is the batch to try. Running 50/50 on the indica/sativa scale and representing Berner's Cookies' brand genetics, Gary Payton Cookies is a cross of The Y and Snowman strains that will surely delight the most refined toker. The palate alone is the epitome of "za-za" with its overt gassy, yet savory-sweet nose and flavor. Pull it thick in your tube and you'll be making little squeaking noises as you try to hold the delectable smoke in your lungs longer. On the exhale the rush to your head, through your body, and to every extremity, is palpable and may even bring a tear (of joy) to your eye. As you can tell we're super pumped about this fresh batch of Gary Payton. To get some for yourself, and brighten your whole weekend in a gleefully relaxed way, just head over to Elevated Lounge ASAP. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you! PS: We hear they're putting more on the shelf as soon as this review goes out so there should be plenty still available 🙌

In conversations with people throughout the DC area over the years I've noticed it's relatively common for them to A). medicate at night with indica's in order to get better sleep (or any at all in some cases) and B). seek Blueberry hybrids, when available, to accomplish this task. If this sounds like you and you're on the hunt for a solid indica check out this Blueberry Biscotti from DC i-71 delivery pro's Cannabear. One of the famed indica dominant hybrids of the past couple decades, Blueberry is a cross of Purple Thai and Afghan known for its inundating euphoric effects and calming essence. To cross it with Biscotti, another laidback varietal and cross of Gelato, GSC, and South Florida OG, is something akin to making the ideal indica-heavy hybrid. It's a mash up of legendary old school and epic new school for sure. The result for our aforementioned indica seeking friends is what one of them has labelled as "the perfect bedtime treat". As someone who does not need indica to sleep at night, I can say that this strain packs a mesmerizing, stoney high that is overtly relaxing. It also made me raid my fridge pretty hard and as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light. Perhaps most intriguing about the strain, and notable aside from effects, is its unique and exotic flavor. Somewhere between tangy fruit rollup and skunky beer (in a good way), it has such an exotic taste, one that I have to recommend rolling in a joint or blunt to get the full mystifying experience. Even the smoke of this batch seems sort of mystic and almost blue-tinged. Overall it's a great toke and one that will surely tuck you in softly at night. For your own jar of this top-shelf Blueberry Biscotti just hit up Cannabear DC today and schedule your delivery. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

Carbon Fiber, from DC’s Buddha Buddy, is a three-way cross between Grape Pie, Cookies & Cream, and Biscotti. It’ll be love at first sight when you take a look at these buds; chunky and plum-colored with calyxes so dark they appear almost black. This batch's bag appeal is undeniable and cracking open one of the densely structured nugs unveils even more treasures inside. The outside is encrusted with amber pistils and inside drenched in sticky trichomes that ricochet off the nug when manipulated. She’s wildly fragrant; aromatic grape and dough take center stage while notes of garlic linger in the air. As she burns, you’ll notice a muted gassiness on the exhale. Not only is Carbon Fiber aesthetically pleasing, but the effects are equally as delightful. A smooth smoke, the high is uplifting and inspiring. All three of its parents are hybrids, with two of the three being indica dominant. With a lineage so complex, it can be hard to anticipate what kind of experience you’ll have, but I can attest that this isn’t the couch-lock munchie-inducer you might think of when you think of indica. Instead, you’re more likely to find yourself giggling alone or ad-libbing your favorite song. It’s clear that this flower is top-shelf; the sheer number of crystals makes it look like a carnival funnel cake doused in powdered sugar. Holler at Buddha Buddy DC today and grab some of this powerhouse flower for yourself. Don't forget to tell them Toker's Guide sent you!

Samoas, named after the world-famous coconut cookie, is an evenly balanced hybrid (50/50) cross between the Forum Cut of Girl Scout Cookies and BX1 phenotype of Face Off OG from DC i-71 service District Firehouse. With its namesake being the all-American dessert (also known as Caramel deLites) sold by young girls outside grocery stores nationwide, there was no doubt this strain would taste heavenly. Don’t let the connotation of its name fool you, though. Samoas knocks you out with a single punch. The sheer potency is more Muhammed Ali and less Shirley Temple. Just like the cookie, the flavors are rich, chocolate-y and nutty, with the only outlying difference being its minty-ness and earthiness. Cracking open a nug, you’ll see streaks of purple amidst moss-colored hues and a dense collection of trichomes. With a squeeze, the skunky/savoriness will sucker-punch you in a way that’s only synonymous with Cookies cuts. Judging from its lineage, this is probably due to high levels of caryophyllene. The buds are dense, chunky and spade-shaped — strikingly dark with deep purple undertones and a coating of clear crystals that only illuminate the lilac hues, appearing almost effervescent and extraterrestrial in the light. The effects are gradual and creeping; the type that makes you want to just keep chiefing. There’s a psychoactive buzz I experienced which crescendos after a good 15 minutes. You’ll get hit between the eyes with a numbing, cerebral high that’ll leave you feeling introspective and hazy, your senses heightened and body sedated, washing over and leaving you immovable. If you’re not careful, it’s easy to overdo it and eat yourself into a food coma too. With a strain so potent and inebriating, I suggest enjoying this in the evening when all you have to do is the joys of dolce far niente (as the Italians say — sweet doing nothing). I can’t emphasize enough how Samoas “hits different.” This strain truly levels up the already beloved GSC lineage. Hit up District Firehouse today to get some of your own. Don't forget to tell them Tokers' Guide sent you!

Greetings tokers! As many of you are aware, we don't often review carts here at Toker's Guide. That's because, frankly, we haven't found that many to write home, er to you all, about. But when primo DC medical cultivator, Alternative Solutions mentioned that they would have the cart version of their spectacular Panama Red coming out in DC medical dispensaries soon, we became very enthused. So enthused we just had to track it down and give it a proper review. With a name like Bunji Bros, you'd think we'd be in for one heck of an adventure tracking it down, right? Not so. Fortunately, all it entailed was heading over to nearby Herbal Alternatives dispensary on Rhode Island Ave in NW DC where they already had it in stock! Alt Sol, using their own blend of full spectrum extracts and terpenes, specially formulates their carts uniquely to each strain they grow. Panama Red is a terpene dominated strain known for its wide range of therapeutic effects. In fresh flower form, the terpene profile is dominated by Terpinolene which is accompanied by almost equal parts Nerolidol 2, β-Caryophyllene, and β-Myrcene. This same profile is dialed-in for the carts and designed to mimic that of the flower. What's the result you ask? Nothing short of awesome, in our opinion. Now, if you're looking for that ridiculously fruity or sweet, almost (or probably) artificial flavoring, you won't find it here. The flavor is deliciously fresh, but actually quite subtle overall. It's not going to be the super skunky presence of the dried flower either. Instead, it's tangy and "clean" with a citrusy aftertaste. It's delightful, but again, not overt. What is overtly apparent, however, are the effects. They are sativa laden and invigorating, so much so it makes you want to hit it again and again, just to see if there's another "uptick" you can experience - for the sativa lovers anyhow. Just as I thoroughly enjoyed the joyful energy of the Panama Red flower, so too do I enjoy the same with the cart. For me, it also greatly placates my stomach and digestive issues in a matter of seconds - the speed and obviousness of the relief palpable even to those around me. This has honestly been an issue for me with carts, they just haven't been strong enough unless it's been correctly formulated and used a live resin or diamond/sauce blend. While this batch of Panama Red concentrate is ethanol extracted, the formulation is the kicker that makes it really hit like a champ. If you're into cartridges, have a medical card from literally any US state (or the District, obviously), and are looking for a reliable new brand, do yourself a favor and hit up Herbal Alternatives to grab one of these great Bunji Bros carts from local DC medical cultivators Alternative Solutions today!