Have you ever wanted to shoot white-hot laser beams of energized focus out of your eyeballs whilst you tackle the challenges of your day? Ever find yourself a wee bit anxious or paranoid because your sativa is too strong and now gremlins are chewing on your thoughts?? Wouldn’t it be great if we could enjoy a potent sativa extract on the go without enduring a mild panic attack?!? Does anyone know where all of my missing socks go?!? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, fellow Tokers—seriously, I want my socks back— then I have just the thing for you! Our friends at DMV Organics have done it again with a third offering in their popular new line of luxury extract and concentrate based vape carts! The White Diamond Vape Cart has a base of solventless White Haze Diamonds. As we’ve discussed before, fellow Tokers, “raw” sugar diamonds, or crystals, are an extremely potent 99% pure THC-A extract, the remaining 1% being typically made up of terpenes and cannabinoids. Flower typically contains an average of 20 to 25% THC, whereas the crystals/diamonds contain almost a full 100% THC. Essentially? Crystals/Diamonds are almost four times as strong as flower! The White Haze Diamonds are made from the sativa-dominant White Haze strain. Created by Amsterdam-based breeders Dutch White Label Seed Company, White Haze famously won for sativas in the 2002 High Times Cannabis Cup. This 70/30 sativa-dominant strain has scents of lemon and citrus with woodsy funky undertones. A cerebral, energetic, and uplifting high also boasts numerous purported health benefits: Tokers have attested to pain mitigation and anti-inflammatory benefits, as well as relief from feelings of depression. The Beta Myrcene terps in these Diamonds provide the perfect counterbalance to the energetic White Haze sativa. Known as the Queen Mother of all terps due to its prolific presence across so many plants, you’ve probably been enjoying Beta Myrcene without even knowing it! Often occurring in fragrant plants and herbs such as mangoes, hops, thyme, lemongrass, and basil, we’ve only begun to discover the myriad health benefits of this amazing terpene. Effecting the permeability of cell membranes enables Beta Myrcene to thereby regulate other terpenes and cannabinoids by either enhancing or buffering their respective effects and potency. Myrcene and other terpenes affect GABA receptors in the brain, acting synergistically with THC to produce neuromodulatory effects. Simply put? Beta Myrcene has got your back and is here to protect Tokers everywhere! Fighting pain, inflammation, and bodily discomfort while relaxing the muscles and promoting a calming sedation are just a few of the magic tricks Beta Myrcene has been reported to possess. By combining the sativa lighting bolt of White Haze with the “chill out bruh”-ness of Beta Myrcene, DMV Organics has created the perfect daytime luxury vape cart for Tokers on the go who need to get stuff done! I found the cart to be strong, energetic, and potent yet clear-headed and focused. This is my new favorite daytime boost! So, if you need a little pep in your step while you meet the day, look no further! We’ve also got a discount code you can use for your purchase (Get $15 off your order with promo code "TokerGuideRef")! Let us know what you think in the comment section, we’d love to hear your feedback!

One of the most gassy strains I've had in some time, this Grease Monkey from Exotic Blooms is an indica dominant hybrid and cross of the infamous Gorilla Glue #4 with the ever satisfying Cookies & Cream. The result is an astounding sweet skunkyness that makes your mouth water and an overall aroma that is straight from a diesel truck - something you can smell from a literal mile away. In terms of effect, this one is heavy on the euphoric body buzz and has the solid indica stance to just make you melt away into your couch. I've also noticed that gorilla glue and related crossbreeds often have long-lasting nasal decongestion properties for me. This is especially helpful this time of year when my allergies seem to be acting up more so than in the Spring. For whatever reason, the "glue-like" aspect projects itself as a welcomed dryness of the sinus - sort of like cottonmouth but throughout the nasal cavity instead. I can't say this will work for anyone else, but it works for me pretty much every time I need it to. With Exotic Blooms, you always know that what you're going to get will be of impeccable quality. While this one may not appear to be the eye candy that many of the other strains we've reviewed for them have been, let me assure you that this bad girl packs a mean punch. In fact, the strain's THC levels are typically nearing the 30% mark - common with many GG influenced varietals - and it's quite obvious given this batch's strength. If you're looking for a highly relaxing, highly rejuvenating weekend, and perhaps just as much calm as you can get before next week's storm (DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!), then I recommend giving this funky skunky monkey a try! Hit up Exotic Blooms to setup your delivery today and don't forget: GET $10 OFF with promo code: "Toker's Guide Sent Me"

Purple God, brought to us by Exotic Blooms, is a super exotic and typically rare indica dominant hybrid strain created by re-crossing God Bud - Hawaiian Landrace X Purple Skunk - with Hawaiian Landrace X Purple Skunk. This re-cross is performed in order to add more purple coloration by re-introducing genes from another, similar phenotype that expresses more purple. In this case, the purple is expressed, but perhaps not as much as I've seen in some batches of Purple Skunk. This is completely ok, however, because 1). the flecks of purple that are apparent make it look even more exotic and provide great contrast and 2). this bud is just freaking epic, regardless! Typically packing just over 30% THC, the potency of this strain should not be underestimated. With the flavor - one of buttery-cake-like-ness with subtle fruity notes - it may be hard to put the vaporizer down before you're...ehem...one toke over the line (what was the over/under on how long it would take me to put that bit of song lyric in a post? 😂 ). Note in the above macro lens shots that the fresh coats of twinkly trichomes are lathered onto the sugar leaves and sizably mature calyxes in droves. In the middle photo, taken looking from the bottom up, you can see the cure taking ahold and the overtly resinous trichomes just oozing - the bottom of colas possess some of the most flavorful terps and highest potency levels and this is certainly the case here. It's fresh and sticky, mega dense, has flavor for days, and the potency is unquestionable. You can vape it, you can still roll it despite the stickiness (there's a delightful grittiness to it upon breaking it up all the way), and you can absolutely take phenomenal bong rips with it (my preferred method with this batch). What's not to love? To check out this stupendous stash of Purple God for yourself hit up Exotic Blooms and schedule your delivery ASAP! PS: GET $10 OFF with promo code: "Toker's Guide Sent Me"

My fellow Tokers, the game is changing before our possibly red eyes. (Remember to be good to your eyes and use moisturizing drops!) The cannabis culture has evolved rapidly and utilized modern science to elevate the products and methods by which Tokers throughout the land can enjoy our favorite plant! We used to be somewhat limited with regard to the mediums by which we were available to enjoy cannabis, but all that has changed! My friends and I at Tokers Guide have discussed various concentrates and extracts with you before, but some of you out there might be unfamiliar or uninitiated with this kind of experience. Worry not, fellow Tokers! Do me the honor of being your guide as we explore the land of live resin together! It’ll be like the magic school bus, but we’ll all be high af...although let’s be honest—you know Ms. Valerie Frizzle was getting down on the low! Live resin has quickly become one of my favorite ways to enjoy cannabis! Freshly harvested cannabis is frozen to subcritical temperatures, enabling the plant to retain its magical terpene profile. This allows the plant to keep its original flavor and fragrance, both of which are typically severely diminished during the usual curing and cultivation process that flower regularly undergoes. Through this complex extraction process, live resin concentrates are able to really capture the flavors and aromas of the living plant. The plant’s essence has been frozen in a moment of time, allowing a more complex terpene profile to flourish. Complex terpene profiles allow for the legendary “entourage effect,” meaning all the various compounds can work together synergistically to take Tokers across the land on magical journeys of their very own! When my favorite DC local I-71 compliant service provider DMV Organics gave me this tested and certified local organic NYC Diesel to try, I knew I was about to taste something special. Famously winning 2nd place for Sativas at the High Time Cannabis Cup in 2001, 2003, and 2004, NYC Diesel’s reputation precedes itself! Bred by Amsterdam based Soma Sacred Seeds, NYC Diesel is a 60% Sativa dominant cross between Mexican and Afghani. With THC levels that can exceed 21%, this Sativa dominant strain is great for daytime use. A citrusy nose greets your senses before hints of lime and grapefruit dance across your pallet. An upbeat euphoric high is pleasantly chill and known for not inducing anxiety as some other robust Sativas often can. I enjoyed this live resin in both a dab rig and a pen that uses concentrates. I found this product to be quite stable and not too messy as some concentrates can be. Head to DMV Organics and try it for yourself! And use our discount code to save yourself some cash! Tell us what you think in the comments section, we’d love to hear from you!

You know what i love fellow tokers? Extracts and concentrates! You know what i despise? Messy laborious dab rigs and the whole cleaning and maintenance required thereof! Oh what am i to do?!? If only i had some super convenient way of enjoying my favorite concentrates discretely on the go while i run around this crazy world we live in! Can’t anyone help me out?!? DMV Organics is here to help! My favorite, local DC I-71 compliant provider is here to save the day yet again! Offering another entry in their new line of luxury extracts and concentrate carts, the Lemon Creme Pie Diamond Vape Cart is here to blow your mind! Using the same Lemon Creme Pie Solvent-less Diamonds we previously reviewed, combined with Humulene Terps (more on this in a moment), tokers throughout the land are granted with a superior, luxury cart experience. Providing the base of the cart is AAAA certified Lemon Creme Pie “RAW” sugar diamonds (or crystals), an extremely potent, solvent-less 99% pure THC-A extract. The Lemon Crème Pie is made with organic flower that’s a 50/50 indica/sativa hybrid. As I've mentioned before - but always want to reiterate for the newbies - Flower typically contains an average of 20 to 25% THC, whereas these crystals contain almost a full 100% THC. Therefore the Lemon Crème Pie is almost four times as strong in this form as in flower form! Adding to this fantastic concentrate to really take this cart to the next level we have Humulene Terps! Present in many strains such as Dark Star, Headband, Thin Mint GSC, Original Glue, and Candyland, you’ve probably been enjoying Humulene for years without even knowing it! First found in hops (I see you beer enthusiasts), Humulene is the terp responsible for the spicy, earthy, woody notes possessed by many plants. With a bouquet comparable to sage, basil, or clove, the robustness of Humulene is the perfect counter balance to the lighter citrus medley of the Lemon Creme Pie. Humulene also has a variety of purported health benefits and has been used for centuries in eastern and holistic medicine as an antibacterial agent, appetite suppressant, and anti-inflammatory. Additionally, some tokers have mentioned it helping them with allergies, pain, bacterial infections, arthritis, and fibromyalgia. So basically DMV Organics has combined one of the best concentrates around with a miraculous terpene and housed the blend in a certified lead free glass and ceramic cart? Um....F***K YEAH! I have to say, from flavor to effects I love this thing. Head over to DMV Organics and treat yourself to one of the best carts available in DC! use our discount code ("TokerGuideRef") and save yourself some coin! and let us know what you think in the comments, we'd love your feedback!

Good morning fellow tokers! I couldn't let any more time go by without letting you know about some great new tree coming out of Top Secret DC this weekend. It's called Slurricane Runtz and, as you might have guessed, it's a cross of the relatively new, but already notorious, Slurricane and hybrid powerhouse Runtz. My first thoughts upon seeing this specimen? Holy crap this stuff is white! Like white AF. Seriously there are so many clustered hyper-white trichomes on this bud that its calyxes and sugar leaves are almost entirely white. Accented by thick blaze-orange hairs, this batch looks exceptionally exotic! I'm going to keep this one brief and let the photos do much of the talking, but suffice it to say that the genetics used to Frankenstein this creation were absurdly good. With Slurricane, a 60/40 indica heavy hybrid, and Runtz, a 50/50 hybrid, this runs just ever so slightly indica. However, I did find the buzz considerably euphoric with a very noticeable body buzz. Better hit up Top Secret DC on the double because this one is sure to go fast!

I've said previously in my review of a recent batch of Papaya that it's rare you get a strain that smells better than the fruit for which it is named. Well, turns out that maybe it's not so rare because this batch of Strawnana from Exotic Blooms has an insanely fruity bouquet that is a spot-on amalgamation of strawberry and banana aromas. Honestly, it smells better than my wife's strawberry banana smoothies! You may have had your share of varietals that claim to be of "banana" essence. Banana OG, for example, is fairly common and usually pretty good, however, I don't think i've ever smoked/vaped it and said "Wow, that really tastes like banana". That's certainly not the case with this Strawnana - a cross of the classic Banana Kush and Strawberry Bubblegum. It absolutely has not just the aroma of banana (and strawberry), but also the flavor. Aside from the phenomenally exotic aroma and flavor, I also found the cerebral nature of this flower's buzz to be quite remarkable. Usually with heavy indicas like this one (70/30) your mind begins to wander in a bit of a sporadic fashion. Let's face it, mental clarity, while frequently enhanced with sativas, is not the forte of indicas. Yet, what I noticed with this specimen is that even though my body was supremely relaxed, my mind was acute and, perhaps, even heightened. There was certainly a heady sense of creativity across my active mind - which is always helpful for writing 😉 . Visually this batch can be identified as very fresh - the trichomes are all still insanely starry and have been gradually fading to bright white. It's also quite dense and ridiculously sticky. It's obvious that it was extremely well cultivated when you consider the symmetrical structure, overtly large calyxes, and the sheer size of the trichome clusters (as seen in the macro photo below). Overall, I would encourage you to select this weed if you are looking for a stupendously exotic flavor experience, a mellow but active-minded buzz, or a super strong indica that won't leave you couch-locked. Hit up Exotic Blooms today to give this connoisseur-worthy batch of Strawnana a try for yourself!

Greetings my nighttime indica tokers. As an early riser, I had to stay up a bit late for this one, but it sure is a stupendous treat to share this Garanamal from Exotic Blooms with you. As you may or may not know I like to partake in the strains I review during, or just before, the review process. In this case, the whole before aspect has left me with a quite a difficult task ahead. That is to say that this highly indica dominant strain has me effectively couch-locked, computer on chest, trying to type out this review to you with out drooling on my keyboard to much. So yeah, as you might have guessed this one is a pretty epic strain. Its lineage is that of Grape Ape and the ever enjoyable Animal Cookies and this is abundantly apparent in the incredible nutty, cookie-like taste. Yet, also present are exotically sweet, berry-esque notes. It kind of conjured memories of zoo cookies from elementary school years getting mixed with a fruit roll-up in your snack bag. Man I could go for a fruit roll-up right now. Where was I? Shit. Ok. So I'm feeling extreme euphoria, squinty eyes, cotton mouth, a halo-like headband feeling, perhaps some auditory hallucinations? Lemme come back to this... ...and we're back. A little more energy now. Still super toasty though. Let's give it another shot... From a cultivation standpoint, this batch is epically manicured from root to cola. Immediately remarkable is the unbelievable amount of starry trichomes ALL OVER these buds. They are so starry that the pictures don't just not do them justice, they actually mess with the lighting. It's hard to capture, but I think, even with a bit of blur you can get the idea. In the macro, with starriness tamed, the freshness and maturity of the trichomes at harvest is clear based on the sheer white and round globules of resin forming at the top. The density of this strain is also evident as you attempt to break what should be easily snap-able buds, and their stickiness quickly impedes the process. Definitely break out your sharpest grinder to assist! Overall, this is an other worldly indica worthy of the finest toker's pallet and tolerance. If you're looking for something on that end of the spectrum that will rise above the rest, treat you right, and consistently leave you in a blissfully tranquil state, Garanamal is where it's at. Give Exotic Blooms a shout ASAP to get some for yourself.

Good evening fellow tokers! The weed fairy has really been sprinkling her magic dust on the DC weed scene lately. What do I mean by that? Well, quite simply, there's just a bunch of really great weed floating around the District. Take, for example, the following Tropicana Cookies from Top Secret DC. When I reviewed the Peanut Butter Ice Cream Cake from Joint Delivery at the start of the weekend, I was so sure that it would be the best that I would see for at least a little while. After all, it's stupendously great and the flavor is inescapably delicious. Yet, put this Tropicana next to it and, well, it's just too hard to tell which one is better. What's easy to tell, however, is that the two of them together have been making for an epic Sunday! While the PB Ice Cream Cake is certainly more on the indica side of the house, the Tropicana actually runs significantly sativa. So right off the bat, the comparison is a bit like apples and oranges. Looking closely, though, an expert eye can easily see that each was grown in remarkably similar way. The trichome coverage, the crispness of the cure, the brilliant white versus dark purplish hues. Visually both are spectacular. If we ARE comparing apples and oranges, the Tropicana is most definitely the orange and, from an olfactory perspective, it rather ironically takes the cake. I have no idea how they get strains like this, and some of the Tangie I've had before, to smell and taste so close to a fresh, juicy tangerine. It's literally like they injected a gallon of fresh squeezed juice into each plant somehow. I'd also say that this citrusy-ness also impacts the buzz. It might sound ridiculous, but if there was ever a way to "feel" orange flavor, this should qualify. Upon exhale, this citrus flavor utterly dominates, but soon gives way to notes of sweet cookie. In the vape, the mouthwatering is inevitable. In the tube, you can still get a really strong sense of Tangerine. In the joint, it's just astounding the range of flavors that evolve over the course of the session - might be the best way to go here. A wondrous cross breed of Tangie and Girl Scout Cookies this strain does end up, as I mentioned, on the sativa side (probably 60/40). As such, it's probably best for daytime use, but that's not to say that nighttime use would be detrimental. In fact, I think it's great for keeping some energy going, but still being able to comfortably fall asleep. That makes this one an absolute goto for social activities imo. To partake in what is quite possibly the best citrus-oriented batch of weed I've ever had, give Top Secret DC a shout as fast as you can. This one surely won't last long!

UPDATE (9/25/20) - Note that we've just published our How to Get Weed in DC - The Definitive Guide. Please refer to it for the most thorough explanation of how the legal cannabis scene works in D.C. including DC Initiative 71 (I-71) and the District's Medicinal Marijuana program. Thanks so much to our friends over at Free Range Kings for making this awesome informational video. (and for letting us repost it)! We think this does a great job outlining the basics of the current regulations and how the Initiative-71 services operate. It's super easy to understand and visually appealing - right down to the cartoon digital scale 😂 ! If your friends are ever coming into town and wondering how the legal cannabis system works here in DC now you can simply share this video! Free Range Kings bills themselves as the "ultimate guide to unique and even sublime food and cannabis experiences" and they are "focused on local restaurants, dispensaries, and people in the cities they represent!" Be sure to check out their site for intriguing articles, reviews, and videos highlighting local cultures around food and cannabis. You can also follow them on Instagram @freerangekings.

STOP the presses! This one's a scoop. An exclusive that is. You heard it here first folks, tomorrow the infamous JD Flowers by Joint Delivery will release some of the most epic cannabis flower gifts this side of the Mississippi: Peanut Butter Ice Cream Cake. At Toker's Guide we've been granted backstage access to this star so you can check her out for yourselves - and all before she's even remotely available to the general public's eyes. What's that? You only want weed so loud you can hear its smell from across the room? Well you're in luck. From afar - debatable about just how many miles away - it's got animal lovers feeling sorry for the skunk that someone must have recently ran over nearby. Up close, it's creamy, buttery, delectably chronic weed. A cross of the mouth-watering Peanut Butter Breath, an evenly balanced hybrid and combination of Dosidos and Mendo Breath, with indica dominant Ice Cream Cake, this bud certainly has all the flavor you could want and then some. It's been exquisitely manicured as is obvious from the immaculately starry smathering of trichomes throughout along with a pleasantly crispy texture. When you break it up, if you look close, you can see little explosions of kief sent flying through the air as each stem snaps under your fingers. The coloration is an additional area of note with this specimen. The purple and blueish hues along with a remarkably pale green create a stark contrast accentuated by the aforementioned starry twinkles (apparently twinklyness isn't a word - but should be!). This batch is truly a connoisseur's dream. Tomorrow, when Joint Delivery officially launches this strain, you might need to hit them up a little early to secure your place in line. But, I promise it'll all be worth it once you have the chance to sample these phenomenal JD flowers for yourself! PS: for $10 off use promo code: "TokersGuide"

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Attention all you concentrate loving tokers! Here's a special Sunday night edition of the Toker's Guide where we'd like to present to you some really royal badder. It goes by the name of King Louie OG of @dabviarsextracts and we've been graced with its presence thanks to the ever noble Exotic Blooms. The aroma that you waft up from this absolutely gorgeous specimen of live resin badder is its first indication of the quality at hand. The second is the ease with which it simply crumbles at the tip of your dab tool. It's almost hard to get it to stick to things. The final, and I suppose most obvious, indicator of quality when partaking in this concentrate is the CLEARLY kush dominated terpene profile that exudes from each exhale. Of course, I rip from an e-rig bubbler designed to enhance flavor, but the flavor experience of this offering is superior still. The effects are just crushing...in a good way that is. Strong indica vibes will almost immediately overtake you from spine and shoulders moving outward. The euphoria can be so intense it almost makes you shudder slightly at first...then, prepare to melt away losing all track of space and time. Toke this before a quiet yoga class and - you've been warned - you will most likely wake up drooling on yourself. This is your nighttime vegetate on the couch type of gift. That said, it could be a fun one for someone who is new to concentrate. Unlike a sativa or hybrid with a significant sativa stance, this isn't going to leave you feeling spun out. Most likely, you'll get incredible munchies, go to bed early, and wake up super refreshed. Now, that might be 14 hours later, but...hey...who doesn't like some great sleep? All joking aside, this is some serious connoisseur grade badder. The live resin aspect means that it's made from cryogenically frozen freshly harvested cannabis buds. By immediately freezing the plants all of the terpenes, some which are emitted and fully out of the plant within minutes/hours, are retained. Then the subsequent product is pressed under immense pressure and collected for further purification and processing. The crumbly nature of this "badder" means that it's most likely higher in THC content and lower in terpene oils, however, different plants sometimes produce waxier consistencies - these often become referred to as "butter" or "budder". For the regal experience of partaking in this flavorful and impressively powerful premium level concentrate please inquire with Exotic Blooms as soon as possible. It truly is a gift fit for a King! PS: GET $10 OFF with promo code: "Toker's Guide Sent Me"