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How is it that i made dinner AND got caught with the dishes?!? Not cool fam! Taco night was over and I’m not the kind of person that can let the dishes just sit there. Interestingly enough, this is also akin to why I’m the type that can benefit from cannabis. Some might say a little OCD, but hey, what’s wrong with wanting things to be fresh and tidy? As I finished up the dishes I started to think of rewarding myself with a little dessert. It had been a long day and I’d been productive so I felt like I deserved a treat… …and that’s when I remembered the brownie. I’d gotten the brownie almost a week ago and, honestly, I was slightly worried I’d waited too long. Would it be stale? I also remembered the warning from DMV Organic’s excellent customer service rep, “BE CAREFUL!!! it’s made with distillate so you can’t really taste it!!!” What is distillate? Through a refinement process the desirable compounds (like THC) are separated from the undesirable plant matter. What remains is a potent translucent oil that’s flavorless. Using a flavorless oil is great for edibles as it allows chefs to avoid poorly contrasting flavor profiles; you don’t want your brownies to taste earthy or piney right? DMV Organic’s distillate is made from organic Everest Darkstar 50/50 hybrid flower, is solvent-less, and absolutely a healthier way to get your cannabis, which I am ALL about. I finished up in the kitchen and fetched the brownie. It was a pretty standard, delicious looking brownie and, holding it in my hand, I noticed both the quality of the packaging and the still existing softness of the brownie within. Now I was exceedingly confident in its freshness, which registered true as I tore it open. MMMMMmmmm - who doesn’t love that fresh chocolate brownie smell? I’m experienced with edibles but at 200mg’s per brownie I thought it was best to take their advice, proceed with caution, and eat only half at first. Made with dark CaCao it had an abundance of chocolaty flavor. Cacao is also the reason dark chocolate is considered to have such plentiful health benefits. A notable source of flavonoids, CaCao may have beneficial effects on cardiovascular health while boosting mood and energy too. It comes as no surprise that it’s considered a superfood given high levels of antioxidants (more than blueberries), iron, calcium, and magnesium. You might even say that I’m not really having dessert - instead I’m eating superfoods and being healthy (or something)! haHA! An hour passed and I’m feeling pretty nice so I think it’s safe to eat the other half of the brownie. It wasn’t until an hour later, when I realized I’d been shaping up my beard for WAY too long, that I realized how truly high I was. You ever have that moment where you realize you’re high as fuck in the bathroom? I was having that moment. DMV Organics was right; their brownie is the ninja assassin of edibles. It’s so unassuming since it’s made with distillate and you can’t taste it, but believe me, and my well trimmed beard, that it’s there. DMV Organics makes their brownies local in DC. They are nut free, and if frozen have a shelf life of 6 months. If you have specific dietary restrictions they are more than happy to accommodate for orders placed in advance. Honestly, this is one of the more solid pastries I’ve had in DC and its potency is not to be second guessed! To get your hands on one (or many) give DMV Organics a shout today!

Do you remember the smell of play doh? I can still vividly recall the pungent aroma that would immediately emerge from the yellow plastic containers with red tops full of the doughy stuff. Whether the tubs were new and one solid color, or old and 12 different play doh colors mixed together, the joy was still the same. This appropriately named Play Doh Cake from Exotic Blooms actually shares many of the interesting qualities of yesteryear's children's favorite sculpting putty - it's sticky, it's a slew of different colors, its smell will cover and inundate everything you do or touch, and when you experience her effects you'll soon realize that it comes with a giddy, playful and creativity inspiring mega-buzz. It's the stuff dreams are made of, which is pretty much how I recall feeling about play doh when I was a little kid. ☝Just look at those big beautiful hyper white trichomes galore! Upon inspection it's abundantly clear that this bud is cultivated to perfection with every fine detail attended to. For its density it burns remarkably fast, smooth, and with a hyper white ash. While phenomenal in any medium - be it joint, bowl, or vape - I highly recommend pulling a tube of this stuff and entering the vortex headlong. NOT FOR THE NOOBS! Getting down to what I think is its second best attribute, taste, you've probably never tasted anything quite like this before. It's like someone took London Pound Cake (previously reviewed here) and had a lab accident that created the strongest, sugary cookie dough flavor possible - undoubtedly a hulk-like moment. This flavor also happens to be extremely long-lasting, existing many breaths after you've initially exhaled. In terms of genetics, this is a sheer mystery. There's literally no other info, not even a bread crumb, out there on this strain. Of course, this isn't uncommon when it comes to designer, super rare, and/or exotic strains - after all these ARE very valuable trade secrets. So let's try to make an informed guess shall we? Even though Exotic Blooms lists this as a sativa dominant hybrid, I would argue that it is probably closer to 50/50 in effect with some noticeable indica-oriented euphoria, which certainly overshadows any rush of energy. The flavor profile being close to an intensely strong London Poundcake is somewhat of a giveaway that this has heredity from the Cookies family. Knowing the LPC was was a cross of Sunset Sherbet and an unknown indica, perhaps this is Sunset Sherbet crossed with a different indica? Or, more likely, perhaps someone crossed LPC with another flavorful and robust strain? If I had to guess I would point to another "cookie" or "cake" cultivar as the other parent in this cross. How about Cookie Dough? It makes pretty good sense from a flavor profile standpoint and also given that it would allow for the "Doh" portion of the name. Plus, it's a Girl Scout Cookies phenotype that ends up highly doughy in flavor. Seems like we could be on to something here, eh? Hmmmm. Want to take your own guess? Curious about this epic cookie dough/cake batter deliciousness? Maybe you just want to experience the nostalgia of playing with something called Play Doh again? Hit up the always punctual, always phenomenal Exotic Blooms today and get some for your own toy box.

Hello fellow tokers! Jeremy Rider here. I’m stoked to begin posting my own reviews and insights on the Toker’s Guide platform and I couldn’t be more elated to tell you about this phenomenal concentrate gift that I’m such a big fan of right now. Have you been endlessly searching for that brain tingling buzz that’ll remind you of the first time? Look no further! This product will definitely do the trick and I personally LOVE the citrus flavor. It’s called Lemon Crème Pie “RAW” solventless crystal and it’s just one of the amazing variety of gifts now available from seasoned DC I-71 service DMV Organics. For your knowledge “crystals”, or “sugar diamonds” are an extremely potent, solventless pure THC-A extract. This, along with some delectable terpenes and other cannabinoids (~1% of the substance), are all derived from organic Lemon Crème Pie flower - a balanced 50/50 hybrid. Made by extracting live resin from the plant through a complicated and lengthy process involving cold extraction, the end product almost resembles granulated sugar. Ever get annoyed at how much work goes into enjoying concentrates? One of the nicest things about this is its ease of use. The crystals’ very stable consistency provides the user with a virtually hassle-free experience - it’s non adhesive and easy to work with, no crazy tools needed. Sweet lemon terpenes provide a phenomenal flavor and intense effects. The flower itself typically contains an average of 20 to 25% THC, whereas the crystals contain almost a full 100%. Essentially, the Lemon Crème Pie concentrate is almost four times as strong as the flower. The best way to enjoy this product is either with a vaporizer that can accommodate concentrates, or a dab rig. Remember the crystals have to be heated to 350 degrees fahrenheit or higher. Honestly this is one of my favorite products available on the local market right now. It’s a little more expensive, but in my opinion completely worth it as just a little will go a very long way. To get yours, give my good friends at DMV Organics a shout asap and don’t forget to tell them Toker’s Guide sent you!

Quick Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, this is just my own personal experience with this amazing cannabis product. It might be different for you, so take my words with a grain of salt. I just really felt the world needed to know about another possible tool in the arsenal of analgesia. Read on! Greetings, TokerVerse! Thanks to the Cannabis Connoisseurs for allowing me to be your guest poster for the day! To introduce myself, I am a Lady Toker, and today I want to talk to you about Live Resin cartridges. Specifically, Sunset Sherbet from C’Art. This indica dominant hybrid has a fresh-squeezed lemon-leaning citrus flavor with a hint of berries and has something to offer anyone who needs to mellow out or soothe some aches and pains. But to my fellow lady tokers out there, this will change your world. Guys, ear muffs for a second! Ladies, how many of you have experienced any kind of discomfort from that monthly blessing we like to call P.M.S.? If you haven’t, please tell me your secrets. But for the rest of you, maybe you get some wicked cramps? Or sleepless nights? Or perhaps you want to pummel your significant other for no apparent reason? Let me tell you...a puff or two of this baby and you will feel like an angel has enveloped you in her soft pillowy arms, you’re floating on the fluffiest cloud imaginable, and all those frustrations seem to have melted away. Euphoria is a word that comes to mind. You may find everything seeming just a little less overwhelming. This might be a great time to binge some Big Little Lies or any other Reese Witherspoon masterpiece, or just drift off to dreamland to one of the best naps you’ve had in a long time. If you don’t feel like zoning out, it will help you feel more calm and elevated, almost floating through the rest of your day. It’s considered a medium for both head and body high, which provides a great balance. Even when Aunt Flo isn’t making herself at home as an unwelcome (or welcome!) visitor, we’ve all had days where anxiety or unexplained irritability seems to rule the day. Difficult decisions or other issues can seem almost insurmountable. I find that a little hit of the Sunset Sherbet helps me step back from things just long enough to allow the dust to settle and things to become clear. It can be the perfect headchange for putting things in perspective and allowing me to move ahead. Slow down to speed up! Finally, thanks to way too many hours of screen time and not enough yoga, sometimes I personally feel like a little demon hand is clamped around my neck and the pain can be excruciating at times. The Sunset Sherbet is one of the only things that will chill that little demon out and make it let go. The relief is a Godsend. The best part is that these cartridges are small batch 100% cannabis, boutique grown, and locally made.They’re also pesticide free and 100% nug run, which means only the big beautiful buds are used in the creation of this cannabis concentrate. And they are harvested and immediately frozen, then extracted, achieving maximum terpene profiles for taste and effectiveness. Can’t recommend enough! Get it from Puff Puff DC!

Happy 4th of July everyone! What better way to celebrate the birth of our nation than by toking down on a delightful indica named for the 44th president, Barrack Obama. They say he was fond of the herb, but I won't speculate about the frequency of his sessions. This one, rather appropriately, comes to us from the always phenomenal Top Secret DC. Worthy of representing it's namesake, this bud is a cross of Skunk, Afghani, OG Kush, and Bubba Kush - basically a who's who of old school heavy hitters. Running 70/30 on the indica side, she is highly cured with exceptional potency capable of flooring even the most seasoned tokers. NOT FOR THE NEWBS! Perhaps, most noticeable about its effects are the immense body buzz. Take a rip, lay down, and tell me if you don't feel a rolling glow moving all throughout. Great for meditation, yoga, or just catching up on some Z's, you probably don't want to roll this up before a vibrant cookout or fireworks celebration - socially distanced of course. But, tomorrow, if you're nursing a hangover, this is gonna be the best snuggle buddy. In terms of aroma, this batch is very much on the mellower fruity spectrum, almost like a grape cream soda. In taste, it's more exotic with sweet, sugary notes along with an earthiness that is distinctly kush-like. Note that the grower certainly took their time and gave high attention to detail with the result being a staggering amount of bright white trichomes strewn across every available surface. I bet you could make incredible bubble hash out of this! Hmmmm 🤔 It could burn just a tiny bit smoother if I had to make any criticism, but this is easily addressed with a water pipe or vape. I commonly find that exceptional indica's are more harsh than many sativa oriented cultivars. This is likely because of its ancestry's durability to survive harsh mountain winters - heartier leaves and buds make the smoke thicker. That said, in the vape, it's excellent with no detectable lack of smoothness. In a blunt or joint, it certainly will not disappoint, likely leaving everyone in the circle zombified for several hours. Give homage to one of the USA's greats, President Obama, this July 4th and pick yourself up some Obama OG from Top Secret DC ASAP!!!

So, I'd like to mention that I got a pretty sweet new lens for my camera that allows me to take photos at much greater magnifications. What does this mean? Well, I got to nerd out and snap magnified photos of buds for a few hours this afternoon. What does this mean for you? It means that photos are about to get even more interesting and even more in-depth discussions about various cultivars can ensue! Get psyched! Today's specimen is one that I'm especially fond of presently called Kush Mintz. It comes to us from the one and only Joint Delivery, whom you may have noticed has climbed to the 2nd spot on our Top Five list (and deservingly so given its current lineup of flower). Kush Mintz is a relatively new, kickass hybrid strain that runs true to its proclaimed 50/50 indica to sativa ratio. With Bubba Kush and Animal Mintz parents, its potency easily rises to the low to mid 20's regarding THC levels and it packs a knockout euphoric body buzz without too much concern for couch-lock (though it is certainly possible). Overall, I'd say it's a really happy, mellow, cookies-esque high with a strong kush back. The aroma is the first aspect to astound you when you pop open the pack. It literally makes your mouth water similar to opening a pack of thin mint girl scout cookies (like the actual cookies) after plucking them from the freezer. It's remarkably minty, doughy, skunky, and coffee-like in flavor and it burns so fast and so smooth you can't help but to keep filling the pipe or vape up again and again. If this bud was a comic book character super hero its awesome super power would be its freakish mutant trichomes. These things are huge, seemingly sharp, and arranged quite neatly in almost razor wire-like fashion. They won't actually cut you of course and you might even think about how the meanness they seem to express visually actually translates into one of the meanest toking experiences I've had in a long time. That's "Mean" in a good way, of course. If you're a fan of really great fucking weed - and if you've read this far I know you are - then I highly recommend hitting up Joint Delivery today and picking up some for yourself. Next up, I'll compare and contrast this Kush Mintz with the similarly amazing M.A.C. & Mintz (also currently available from Joint Delivery). Don't forget to mention promo code "TokersGuide" for $10 off!

Top of the morning to all you tokers out there! As you prep for a lovely weekend here in the DC area I wanted to share a delicious and especially cozy treat with you that I'm sure you'd love to partake in. It goes by the name of London Poundcake and, while we've reviewed the strain before, this batch is of true Cookies genetics and comes to us from the renowned Exotic Blooms. The quality here, as always from Exotic Blooms, is immediately evident by the stunning amount of starry trichomes blanketing these buds. You'll also quickly notice that the smell is shockingly like that of a rich, sugary cake. If you're not familiar with the Cookies brand, they are the cultivators of the famous Girl Scout Cookies which have been crossed to create many scrumptious other desert-oriented cultivars like Gelato and Sunset Sherbet. In the case of the London Poundcake, Sunset Sherbet has been crossed with an undisclosed indica and the result is quite astounding. In terms of effects, this is certainly not going to give you energy. It IS going to give you an amazingly euphoric body buzz that feels like a warm sweater. With a 70/30 indica skew the ideal activities for this strain are along the lines of sunbathing, floating in a pool, laying on couches, watching movies, and trying not to eat everything in your freezer. Which, happen to be my exact plans for this coming Saturday. One other thing to discuss while on the topic of Exotic Blooms is the beautiful design and spectacularly airtight nature of their bags. Literally everything from these guys has an aroma you should be able to smell from the other side of the Potomac (cue Virginia cops running around chasing the air in vain), but it's these beautiful bags that keep it from happening. If you're into legit cookies' strains or if you're just planning on having a super chill, feel good weekend you can't go wrong with this simply perfect batch of London Poundcake. Give our good friends at Exotic Blooms a shout ASAP to get yours!

"Holy Apricot Jelly, Batman!" Ok, so this probably wasn't something that Robin said to Batman in the legendary television show. But, he'd probably say it now after one taste of this batch of Apricot Jelly from Exotic Blooms 😂 This super duper rare sativa dominant hybrid is a cross of the phenomenal Jelly Breath and Irene Apricot strains. It is definitely on the speedy side of things when it comes to effects and MOST definitely not for the noobs. You can probably power through most any work or workout with this one by your side. No cloudy head either! Just pure funky fruity flavored energy for hours. About that funky fruity flavor too - it is seriously something to behold. I'm actually going to go to the store later, pick up a pack of fresh apricots, and compare the smell. I say this because I'm not completely sure what a fresh apricot smells like, but I'm pretty sure this has to be right on point. It's an utterly exotic fruit forward flavor and aroma the likes of which I have not smelled in a bud before - Apricot Terp Level achieved!?! Guys! If you like fruity, funky, phenomenally strong sativas this is a great specimen for your collection. It's oozing with trichomes, it's got all the flavor you want, and if you smoke enough of it you might find yourself running around your neighborhood like a certain aforementioned caped crusader. Hit up DC I-71 super heroes Exotic Blooms today and level up yourself. Don't forget promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" for $10 off!

This batch of ultra premium, evenly balanced hybrid, Apple Fritter from Joint Delivery is an amazing mashup of high-flavor and high-potency parents Animal Cookies and Sour Apple. It's super skunky sour apple aroma is perfectly intertwined with a sugarly cake-like mouth and notes of vanilla, caramel, and cinnamon as well. Your mouth will literally water as soon as you open up a jar of this stuff. And yes, I said jar because this high grade deliciousness comes packed in sturdy glass jars with screw off lids - the best way imo to tote crazy stanky flower like this around town. The level of quality achieved with this batch is immediately apparent as the large, pure white layers of trichomes clash with dark and light greens. The texture is super soft and pliable - this bud is OH SO fresh. There are even hues of deep purple and red on some of the top colas. This was undoubtedly cared for and manicured at the very highest level. When inhaled there's a savory flavor that takes over instantly and causes the same mouth watering effects as its first smell, but in much greater intensity. As you hold it in, the tingle of a needed cough becomes stronger and stronger, but in a pleasant way. When you do first exhale a cough is almost inescapable. There's a rush to your forehead and your entire body is soon wrapped up in a cozy hug of a buzz. There is some energy with this one, but also the ability to curl up with the very noticeable and euphoric body buzz. The skunky sour apple aroma will tend to cling to all that you do, so be aware, but your energy levels should allow you to tackle your easy going exercise like yoga or a walk. You're probably not going to want to go for a run or anything more strenuous though. I actually found this to be a most enjoyable strain for cooking. Not putting it your food, although I'm sure that would be interesting as well, but partaking beforehand and carrying a buzz while you cook or grill. Something about the flavor that goes well with the smells of a going kitchen and the moderate energy (and occasional tastes) make it all that much more enjoyable. Additionally, the buzz is extremely long lasting so no need to leave the grill to reload. I highly recommend hitting up Joint Delivery ASAP to try this Apple Fritter batch, of the very highest order, for yourself. Don't forget to mention promo code "TokersGuide" for $10 off!

Just to be clear from the start, T.I.T.S. stands for "This Is The Shit". It has nothing to do with a part of the human anatomy and I don't condone the use of the word in any demeaning way. I'm only using it within the context of this cannabis strain, OG T.I.T.S. from Puff Puff DC, and I must say, it's definitely the shit. T.I.T.S. is an early Cookies phenotype, crossed with Sour Diesel, which is known for it's extreme strength and powerful coffee-like aroma. Crossing high potency strains with OG Kush, as in this case, is something that's usually done to add structure, ease cultivation, and increase yield. In this batch, the cross clearly produced a robust and well-structured plant, but also buds with one of the most striking contrasts in colors that I've seen in some time. The dark green of the OG side of the family tree combined with the sugary white trichomes characteristic of T.I.T.S., gives the appearance of heavily snow capped alpine evergreens. In terms of flavor and aroma, the traditional ultra-piney OG is combined with a rich Diesel-like coffee profile along with some serious skunkyness on top. Rolling her in joints is my preferred way to partake and it has one of those tastes and smoothnesses that makes you want to just keep hitting it and hitting it and hitting it. Running pretty much in the middle of the road on the indica/sativa spectrum, this is certainly a nice way to enjoy the robustly enjoyable flavor of a Diesel cross without some of the agro sativa effects notorious of the cultivar. Overall, I really love this strain as an outdoor toking option. Something about the sun, the amazingly rich flavor, the moderate energy level, and a great body buzz that makes you want to bring it along for a long hike or a city adventure. Also, the savory nature makes it perfect for pairing with a red wine. Hit up Puff Puff DC asap and, however you decide to enjoy this batch, I bet you'll be finding yourself saying "damn, this shit is the T.I.T.S."

To date I would put much of the bud I've reviewed for Top Secret DC into a very distinguished category. I've been to plenty of dispensaries out west where I was in search of the caliber that Top Secret typically carries, and not found it. I think that speaks volumes about their dedication to quality. Recently, I've noticed some old school exotic strains making an appearance on their menu. Malawi Gold - for example - was an incredible rendition of a classic land race strain. I got to try it, but when I went for reviews they were already sold out 🤦‍♂️ . This Utopia Haze continues this old-school-grown-new-school wave of perfection and, in fact, sets the bar just a little bit higher in my opinion. If you've been following Toker's Guide long then you undoubtedly know about my near obsession with hazes. This haze varietal, however, isn't like many others you might come across. No, this overtly sativa dominant hybrid (90% sativa/10% indica) strain created through crossing Grass Dream and Brazilian Sativa has a tremendously complex aroma. Noticeably absent is an overwhelming citrus solvent smell (typical of many hazes) which, instead, has been replaced with an exotic woody/skunky-ness. As you continue to smell, a piney fruitiness begins to emerge as well. Overall, the scent is not unlike the cross between extremely ripe, fresh papaya and green tea. Like I said, a very complex aroma and, even though it's not totally haze-like, I'm a huge fan. The flavor profile is similarly complex, except the woody/tea/skunky part is overwhelming, even spicy at first. Upon exhale the spiciness seems to tingle throughout your mouth. There are notes of mint, chocolate, and coffee. Soon the mix of flavors inundates all your senses while a rush of warm tingles runs up your spine and surrounds your head. The euphoria is strong with this one! Then the haze takes hold and you're swept off on a mystical voyage in your mind, with enough energy to accomplish many tasks, but with an ironic lack of desire to maintain mental clarity. Try cleaning on this stuff and you'll spend three hours running around your house doing it while completely lost in your head (and with a big smile on your face). Taking first place for Best Sativa in the 2008 High Time's Cannabis Cup, this batch of Utopia Haze is emblematic of the saying "an oldie but a goodie", but in this case you can scratch out "a goodie" and replace it with "I'll take all of it, thanks". Holler at Top Secret DC as fast as you can - I can't imagine this one will last long!

Having had the good fortune to try some of the famed Sherbinski genetics the last time I was in San Francisco, I was elated when Exotic Blooms handed me this batch of Sherbinksi Gelato Acai Berry. The Sherbinski story is an intriguing one of local focus and an unyielding passion for flower quality that has led them to produce such "world-famous genetics"as Pink Panties, Sunset Sherbert, and Gelato. The Gelato line, which includes Bacio, Mochi, Acai Berry, and Gello, is especially exotic in aroma and flavor with notes of coffee, tropical fruit, and sweet cream - a connoisseur's dream! This particular batch of Gelato Acai Berry is very obviously and unquestionably the real deal. Its flavors are spectacularly rich and its aroma alone is staggeringly powerful. With its deep hues of purple and green contrasted against vibrant orange hairs and a super smattering of starry trichomes, its appearance is almost intimidating. Have no fear, though, because she's not the type of bud to snatch all your energy and leave you on the couch for hours. In fact, this one runs sativa-heavy which some might find counterintuitive given the aforementioned dark coloration. Per usual, you're going to find the most spectacular array of flavors when vaping this batch, but the bong is honestly the most joyful for me. Usually, the flavorful ones are lost a bit on the bong - it doesn't necessarily pass through certain tastes that well. Not with this Gelato! It comes running up the tube and rushes your face with an explosion of its immense flavor and aroma. Then it ties a golden headband around your scalp and gives you the energy levels necessary to entice all kinds of activities. So on that note, I'm going to pull a tube of the last of this (literally) world-class Gelato Acai Berry, and head out for a long trail run. Hit up the one and only Exotic Blooms today to get yours and maybe I'll see you out there! PS: Don't forget promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" for $10 off.