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  • Sour Strawberry - Puff Puff DC

    Good morning tokers! I'm taking this opportunity to do a rare morning post due to the outstanding, daytime-oriented effects of this amazing batch of Sour Strawberry from Puff Puff DC. While this hybrid's sativa/indica ratio is generally thought to be unknown, I can tell you my personal opinion is that her sativa effects are easily the most dominant. With East Coast Sour Diesel and Strawberry Cough (both phenomenal sativa's in their own right) in the family tree it's not hard to see why. Yet, the warm/glowing body buzz you'll also feel can be attributed to its other parent, indica flavor hero Razzberry. So for me, when you combine tangy fruitiness, coffee-like energy levels, and a fuzzy sweater of a body buzz you get the perfect supplement to a beautiful morning. While wake-n-baking with this delight you'll also find that the mental clarity afforded by her won't make the "bake" part as noticeable to those around you who might care. Can they really tell you're a little stoney on these work Zoom calls anyways? Is it wrong to have a not-so-different-than-coffee buzz "at" work? I think you can guess where I stand. Isn't it hard enough to get through COVID lockdowns, Zoom conference calls, and work from home territorial conflicts already? Purely based on appearance, this weed looks as strong as it is. It's incredibly lime green with tan colored hairs (similar to the Sour D if you're familiar) and the trichome coverage is completely insane. You even get some easily visible golden tint to the kief as it piles up (and oh will it ever pile up) in whatever jar you attempt to contain her in. When you break it up by hand the remnants will look like a desert sand storm just inundated your fingers. Aroma wise, this one will really wake you up right with a sweet, gassy, piney, solvent-like whoosh as soon as you open the bag (or jar). Eventually, the intensity quells and fruitier notes reign. That overpowering aroma is passed on to the flavor when smoked, however I definitely recommend trying this one in the vape as the terpenes are deliciously complex at lower temperature settings. I've even noticed hints of genuine strawberry at these low temps. Overall, I'm really loving the vibrant energy, creativity, and clarity I'm feeling from what is truly a fantastic batch of a rare and delicious Diesel offshoot. Hit up DC I-71 legends Puff Puff DC today and grab some for your collection before it's gone!

  • Pop Rox - Exotic Blooms

    "Awesome Sauce" is a term I used to throw out a lot for period of time when I was a little younger. I thought it appropriate to bring back to life with the following strain of Pop Rox from Exotic Blooms. This shit is literally THE Awesome Sauce. To be honest, it doesn't really taste like pop rocks anyways. I mean, it does sting your tongue a little, but only in a pleasant way. No this batch of the rather elusive Pop Rox is a little fruity, a lot skunky, and more like a savory spoon full of some fruit infused marinade than a candy. Regardless, it is OH SO mouth wateringly delicious and its strength....it's strength is frankly ready to put you on a mission to Mars. If you're looking for a night time indica to squash all the negative feels of the day away, this is your jam. It's got that make-your-eyelids-droop-in-a-pleasant-way kind of buzz to it. You know, the one where you don't really want to get up to get another glass of wine, but when you do you slowly stroll to the kitchen like you're walking on big pillows. Maybe you giggle a bit - or a lot - because you accidentally poured your wine onto the counter distracted looking at a poster on the wall. Yeah, this is that kind of weed. As always from Exotic Blooms, this bud has been cultivated to the MAX. It literally could not be a more perfect specimen of spectacularly grown indica - so rich in color and starry trichomes. In fact, it would be lovely to know more about this truly phenomenal crop. However, again, her lineage turns out to be a closely guarded secret. It does seem to be the case that this strain originates from, and has been almost exclusive to, Las Vegas. I guess in Vegas there's probably high demand for cannabis that can help cure any hangover and/or put you to sleep at any hour of the day. Enough of this shit and you'll feel like gold no matter where you are or what quarantine you're supposed to be in. Overall, this is my new indica jam of the week - maybe the month (We'll see). Go check it out for yourself! Holler at Exotic Blooms ASAP before this Awesome Sauce is GONE. PS: Don't forget promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" for $10 off.

  • Lemonheads - Joint Delivery

    If you like the old school lemonheads candy like I do, you will love this batch of Lemonheads (aka Lemonhead OG) from Joint Delivery. She's a sativa heavy hybrid that hails from renowned Royal Choice Farms out of the Arizona medical cannabis scene. Interestingly, unlike many other varieties dubbed "Lemon" in name, this particular strain is a sweeter, candy-like aroma whereas others can be more solvent-like. I'd say the uniqueness of this lemon flavor alone makes this bud worth the try for all ye connoisseurs out there. Another noteworthy aspect of this bud is its energy levels - they're off the charts! I typically like to smoke what I'm reviewing right before or even during my writing session. Some would say that the variety of cannabis being reviewed has been directly influencing my writing style. Well OK! I love it! What better way to pass on a deeper sense of the effects and overall experience of a gift under review than the undertones of its effects exhibited in words written about it? So, if I had to comment on what I feel being passed through me as I type this, it is sheer energy paired with a slight lack of cerebral clarity. I could be more focused right now (can you tell?), but my mind is wanting to rapidly jump from stimuli to stimuli. Considering all the aforementioned energetic effects you might be surprised - just as I was - to find that this strain stems from a Kush cutting. Most of the time Kushes that you will encounter at I-71 services and dispensaries will run on the indica side. So while the cerebral nature of the variety would be familiar to Kush smokers, the energy levels may leave them joyfully puzzled. Daytime only folks! I imagine sleep would be very challenging if you pack her in your pipe before bed. As always with Joint Delivery, and all of our Toker's Guide Top Five, this bud is impeccable in structure, cure, and overall quality. Its cultivation was undoubtedly tended to by seasoned professionals and this is highly evident in its appearance, aroma, and flavor. The texture of the bud is quite crumbly and gritty bushels of trichomes will coat your fingers like fine sand as you bread it up. For a fuller, terpene profile oriented experience, I recommend loading her in a flower vape. Otherwise, grab your papers because this is the perrrrfect joint rolling tree. If you've got a ton of work, exercise, or even sports to play, but want to take a nice little buzz and lot of extra energy with you, then check these Lemonheads out. Hit up Joint Delivery and schedule your delivery appointment today! ...AND don't forget to use the promo code "TokersGuide" to get $10 off!

  • Rookie of the Year - Exotic Blooms

    If you're into designer and exotic cannabis and you haven't checked out Exotic Blooms yet...what are you waiting for?!? I mean, looking over the strains I have in my queue to review for them I have to say, DAMN it's hard to not smoke them all before I even get a chance to take their pictures! Next up from the queue is Indica powerhouse "Rookie of the Year". As with the last strain from Exotic Blooms this one's genetics are also shrouded in mystery. It seems less and less these cultivators are willing to share the ingredients of what they're working with. However, I did have a chance encounter last year in Northern California that comes to mind when the term "rookie of the year" in mentioned in reference to cannabis. This gentleman had explained to me that crossing Zkittles with some local OG Kush was his "rookie of the year" and spent some time showing me why. I must say this strain seems very, very similar in coloration, structure and aroma from what I can remember. It's worth mentioning that the main reason given by this cultivator was that Zkittles was a new age strain capable of producing more terps and extremely high THC levels of 30%+. However, it was difficult to grow and didn't always make for the best eye candy. So, if you take Zkittles and cross it with a hearty grower and visually appealing strain like OG Kush, you hopefully retain the high THC content and terps, but with higher yield and a new sexy look. In baseball, a similar kind of thing happens if you think about it. A ball club picks up an athlete with a ton of potential out of college and then sends them to the minor leagues to get bigger, faster, stronger, and more skillful. When the timing is right the kid steps into the majors as a rookie, but vastly improved, thus having a great shot at the "Rookie of the Year" title. Has that happened here, with this batch? Maybe? Who knows? Either way, whether OZ Kush or not, I'm fairly confident in the presence of Kush in the heredity of this strain. I'm also confident that the THC levels are extremely high. As with most indica's it is very sedative and relaxing, with not a speck of pain left in your body - which has also become inundated with a calm, warm glow. Like many Kush varietals, however, there is still mental clarity and the couch feels good, but isn't necessarily required. Her aroma is woodsy, earthy, skunky, and with a hint of grape. She's not dissimilar from a glass of full bodied red wine. In flavor, these same notes come out amidst a wash of exotically delicious spices. The smoke even seems to move differently with this one (and with Kush strains in general) twirling in a more enchanting way, grabbing your attention and helping you drift away towards a trance-like state. If you need to get some thinking done, want to Netflix and chill, or are feeling some restlessness over the lockdown in DC being extended into June, this might be the perfect strain for you! Head over to Exotic Blooms today and check her out for yourself!

  • Cake Batter - Joint Delivery

    As far as exotic cannabis flavors go, cake batter has always ranked high on the list for me. This batch from Joint Delivery is no exception. With sugary, slightly bitter, and bready notes in sequence, it runs your taste buds through a delightful roller coaster ride - one that leaves even the most discerning tokers puzzled to identify the flavors they're experiencing. Flavor aside, this Girl Scout Cookies offshoot (aka Pink Cookies and Wedding Cookies) packs a buzz filled punch with THC levels hovering around 24% on average. She also leans solidly sativa whereas many in the Cookies family tend to be 50/50 or slightly indica. You'll love this one in the day time as it can create giddy creativity levels and edge free energy. A noticeable body buzz can also give more sedentary activities an enjoyable layer of coziness - or even make transitioning to nigh time activities easier with no signs of couch lock. As far as background goes, the aforementioned Girls Scout Cookies were crossed with flavor champion Cherry Pie. I suppose it's no wonder where this lady gets all her taste and aroma from. In terms of cultivation and cure, she's expertly done and was obviously tended to by true professionals. The trim is especially tight, the trichomes extra starry, and, of particular mention, the calyxes are fully mature. Time and time again I see Cookies offshoots grown by less professional growers that taste good, and do the trick, but lack the flavor levels and complexity seen here due to premature harvest. As mentioned in previous articles, so much of a bud's true taste emerges with maturity of calyxes. Also mentioned in previous articles is the "flush". This important part of the pre-harvest process clears out all of the nutrients from a plant's system and greatly improves flavor and quality of smoke. A tell-tale sign of proper pre-harvest flushing is the white ash produced when smoked. Note that this Cake Batter is indicative of excellent pre-harvest flushing based on the hyper white ash it creates. If you're into the Cookies line of strains and hybrids, or if you're looking for something deliciously out of the ordinary, I encourage you to check out this scrumptious batch of Cake Batter from Joint Delivery ASAP!

  • Pearl Jam - Exotic Blooms

    Great bands are awesome. Great buds are awesome. So, how about buds named after great bands? While I'm sure some of you out there could spend days arguing about whether Pearl Jam was a great band or not, I'm equally as sure that none of you would argue about how great this bud is. It's called Pearl Jam and it comes from a DC I-71 scene service that focuses predominantly on the super rare, super exotic specimens of luxury cannabis, Exotic Blooms. At first glance, this batch is pretty eye-popping. When Exotic Blooms says "exotic" they mean it and this much is clear from the crazy coloration and ridiculous amount of starry trichome coverage present. You don't see this in every day bud people. Someone spent a tremendous amount of time not only zeroing in on the right genetics to make this bad girl happen, but they also took painstaking care throughout her cultivation to get her to such a rarely achieved level of greatness. Her aroma is a highly complex and hard to place tart-laced fruitiness. Perhaps something like a sugared ruby red grapefruit. In the pipe or joint this flavor turns more citrusy and notes of lemon and lime come forward along with a hint of sweet cake or graham cracker. You'll be scratching your head the whole way through the flavor profile trying to figure out where you've experienced each nudge of flavor before. Regarding effects, you might assume that something of this caliber would have the effects of some flat out fire when smoked. Well, you would be absolutely correct. This is intensely powerful. It leans sativa and, upon exhale, you can feel the head rush burst forth as energy careens to fill your body. Almost disorienting at first, you may soon find yourself wanting to rock out, maybe put on some tunes and start shaking a leg. It's such an energetic and positive, buzzy type of high, absolutely perfect for daytime use - and not angsty either. Hell, maybe this is the perfect VIP-level concert going weed ideal for a, well, Pearl Jam concert? I have to say I'm beginning to see the reason for the name. But, what of her lineage? What genetics make up the heredity of such an astounding designer crop? Unfortunately, as is the case with many of the most ridiculously impressive breeds, the details of her family history are undisclosed and probably remain a closely held secret by the originator. Don't be too bummed though! We can always use what research and breadcrumbs are out there to help make an educated guess about how Pearl Jam came to be. First of all, upon a brief search of "pearl jam strain" you will find that a strain called Jamaican Pearl populates frequently in the search results. This strain was specifically bred for large crop yields from outdoor cultivation. However, in Jamaican Pearl's background you have an amazing sativa called Early Pearl. Having grown a fair amount of Early Pearl I recall that it's known for it's intensely starry trichomes - much like our Pearl Jam batch. Of course, Early Pearl is also a third of the genetics making up Silver Pearl - another rather rare and exotic strain of immense strength. On the "Jam" side of the house, there is a fairly famous "jam" strain called Nepalese Jam. It's well-known for it's strong citrusy-lemon cent. However, this strain is more of a classic and somewhat lower on the THC range - not the case with the batch in question. There is another "jam" strain that comes to mind which can end up quite citrusy depending on the Tangie parent. That strain is Space Jam - a hybrid of Alient OG and Tangie which often leans quite sativa. Recalling my last encounter with Space Jam, as well as noting pictures online, I would say that the structure, coloration, and even aroma are all in line with the Pearl Jam. So, If I HAD to guess, and please realize that this is a real long shot, I would say that this Pearl Jam is Silver Pearl crossed with Space Jam. Yet, we may never truly know. If you'd like to roll the dice and try to figure out if you can place the complex aroma, flavor, and even lineage of this incredible strain, schedule a delivery with Exotic Blooms ASAP!

  • Dirty Sprite - Joint Delivery

    Greetings Tokerverse! Happy Saturday! I hope you're all enjoying the beautiful weather and getting a chance to go out and wander (while practicing social distancing still, of course). Today I'm SO freaking stoked to welcome Joint Delivery to the Toker's Guide community! They are a great DC I-71 company that has clearly put an exceptional amount of thought, time, and energy into perfecting their overall customer experience. That goes for optimizing their physical operations as well as their service-oriented technology - a fact which was made abundantly apparent during my behind-the-scenes tour. From their online portal to their delivery tracking and logistics I have to say that, through a technology lens, they are the most advanced shop I've seen in the DC I-71 scene to date. Very impressive work. ...And their gifts are amazing too! In fact, given the caliber of gifts Joint Delivery graciously handed me for review, and their overt commitment to customer service, I was eager to add them to our current Top Five DC Services list at the number 4 spot. I think that speaks volumes about them and I'm confident you'll see why they are well-worthy of the praise. The first up of their outstanding gifts that I had the opportunity to review is the following (glorious) specimen of Dirty Sprite... Dirty Sprite is a sativa-heavy hybrid and crossbreed of Arcata Lemon Wreck - a Trainwreck hybrid - and Cinderella 99. Now if you've been reading Toker's Guide long you know that I'm really into the hazy sativa's. Well, Trainwreck is a blend of Mexican and Thai landrace sativa's that are both in the lineage of many hazes. Additionally, the Cindy (one of my all time favorites btw) is a cross of Jack Herer and Shiva Skunk - the Jack also being of haze influence. Needless to say, with all the haze characteristics and so many of my favored strains in the heredity, I was very excited to give this strain a try. The first thing you'll discover about this bud is the super pungent piney-ness. It's aroma is soon noticeably more complex, however, with notes of citrus fruits and a subtle sweetness. The cure of the batch is also very evident by the lingering skunky vibe that begins to cling to pretty much everywhere you've gone with it. Keep this one air tight if you don't want the whole complex knocking at your door, people! From top to bottom she's grown and cured to perfection. It's fresh and pliable, the structure is fully mature, the trichome coverage is absurd. You might even say the "dirty" in the name is an ode to the crazy amount of sheer kief that comes off this stuff. When smoked, she's a total treat. You have the obvious piney and citrusy flavors, but an earthy undertone also presents itself. In the vape, the very complex and, in a way, shocking burst of effervescent lemon, pine, and sweetness is not unlike the carbonated beverage of similar name. Overall, Dirty Sprite is a really phenomenal gift from excellently operated Joint Delivery here in DC. It's literally what I've been toking on all day. To get your own I suggest you give them a shout and set up a delivery asap! AND for $10 off give them promo code "TokersGuide"!

  • *****Tangieland - Top Secret DC*****

    Happy 420 Eve everyone! I've been really psyched to tell you all about this one, but they ran out before I had a chance to put pen to paper (er, fingers to keyboard). Word is they're getting more tomorrow so don't fret...you will have it soon enough! ...and I talk about it this way because this bud is truly an amazing gift. It's called Tangieland and it's available from Top Secret DC through a partnership with Capitol Hill Cannabis (the same collab. that brought you the P. MAC recently). It's SO pungently tangerine, but also somehow super sugary sweet as well...almost like an orange taffy. Most of what you'll read about her will say that she runs 50/50 on the Indica / Sativa spectrum, however, we've found this batch to lean much more on the sativa side (as advertised by the grower). The smoke is delightful and the effects are an immediate cerebral rush that gently drifts down your back, then all around your body. I particularly love this one in the morning as it will give you invigorating energy, creativity, and a sense of warm comfort for hours on end. Careful with the vape, though, as it can get so mouthwatering that you might end up with saliva overflow. In terms of cultivation, you can't get too much better than some of the bigger colas I've seen from this batch. It's local and recently harvested so it's incredibly fresh and spongey. The amount of starry trichome coverage was ridiculous at first, and has now cured into layers of frosty white goodness. The tremendous, nearly tropical color of green is also notable. Overall, this one is Five Stars for sure and just such a delight to have in the stash box. Hurry and schedule an appointment with Top Secret DC asap to experience the joy of this amazing batch of Tangieland!

  • Guava Dog JUUL Pods - Green Label Grinders

    Stir crazy? YEAH. Me too! Like, so stir crazy that I've been making lists of things that I want to do when the outbreak lockdown is lifted. Simply going to a restaurant and bar again is pretty close to the top of the list. Is this what we've been reduced to? Ok enough sad talk. If you're feeling the cabin fever like me then it might be a good time to head out for some sundry items in the district and, while you're at it, why not grab one of these awesome Guava Dawg Juul Pods from Green Label Grinders? Made in-house from extract of their local flower (no need to worry about contaminants), these pods are mega tasty and very chillaxing. To be honest, I'd never tried a cannabis oriented Juul pod before, but so far I like it much better than the standard 510 threaded ones. Very discreet, smooth, and I can't suck it dry in 4 hours like I can with some of the cartridges out there. The Guava Dawg strain itself is an indica-dominant hybrid and crossbreed of Stardawg, Tres Dawg, and Afghani #1. I found it extremely mellow, with a fuzzy body buzz and cozy warmth. It's hard not to curl up on the couch, stream some Netflix, and puff on this guy until you wake up in a puddle of your own drool five hours later (not that anything like that happened to me). Anyhow, I hope you guys get out and support your local I-71 businesses during this time. Things are really rough and these companies, Green Label included, are doing all they can to keep their clients happy and safe. Hit up Green Label Grinders today to get your own juul pods in Guava Dawg and a variety of other fun flavors!

  • Jacky White - Green Label Grinders

    First of all, let me say that I hope everyone is feeling well. I know this whole thing has impacted everyone's lives and businesses (including this one), but there are a few bright spots that I see. As an optimist, I'd thought I'd share what I noticed: 1). Many, many people are out and about exercising 2). People are being ultra kind to others, even with the social distancing 3). Some of your favorite I-71 businesses are still going Let's talk about number three for a second shall we? Without question, I think I-71 businesses are essential businesses. People need to get their weed like people need to get their groceries...and other medicines for that matter. So I'm happy to see the bravery from these crews who are keeping things going. The ones I know are also being EXTRA careful in their operations and doing their part to make sure their people, clients and co-workers alike, stay healthy. One of these businesses is Green Label Grinders. These guys are awesome, super professional, and their gifts are some local excellence. Take the below Jacky White, for example. This is an impeccably grown, sativa heavy hybrid, and a cross of the famous Jack Herer (big fan) and White Widow. This is really such a treat, guys. It's super uplifting and creative. It had me moving like a pot of coffee in the morning for sure, but none of that edgy feeling you sometimes get with sativa's (probably the beauty of the Jack influence). From a flavor standpoint there are notes of grapefruit and a subtle sweetness I want to call marshmallow. The citrus aroma and flavor lends itself very well to the vape, and it's surprisingly smooth given its strength - in bowl, joint, or bong (I tried all three ;) Overall I would call this one: - Energizing, but strangely balanced - Deliciously flavorful, but slightly sweet - Powerfully strong, but smooth - Highly cerebral, but also euphoric To get your own, hit up the folks over at Green Label Grinders asap. They're still going strong, but I have a feeling that now might be a good time to stock up with a little more than usual. Until next time, take care fellow tokers and stay safe out there!

  • *****Platinum MAC - Top Secret DC*****

    Super excited about a new partnership between one of the best local guys I know and Top Secret DC. He's been doing his craft for a long time and is nearing perfection. The brand, which you're going to be seeing A LOT more of in the weeks ahead, is Capitol Hill Cannabis. The first representative from them thus far is this phenomenal Platinum MAC, which as you can see, is impeccably cultivated, harvested, and cured. It's an evenly balanced hybrid and cross of Platinum Kush and the incredibly delicious Miracle Alien Cookies strain. It tastes much like the super sweet milk leftover after some cereal (just like the other MAC1 I reviewed recently), but with an exotic kush-like twist. YUM! I really like the brand that they've come up with here as well. What better way to stay top of mind with some of our favorite congressmen and congresswomen than to have them become keenly aware of an amazing cannabis brand that bears the name of the neighborhood they "work" in. You KNOW the congress people are chiefin' all the time these days too! Wouldn't YOU given the chaos of the government? People! You can get this right now, for a very limited time, by scheduling a pick-up or delivery with Top Secret DC. Many, Many, more strains of this caliber to come, and you know I'll keep you posted. I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT!!!

  • Guava Kush - Green Label Grinders

    Greetings fellow tokers! Today, I am SO stoked to welcome our newest addition to the Toker Top 5, Green Label Grinders. I've had my eye on Green Label for a while now and I've gotten a few people over the past couple months who have recommended that I start reviewing them...so I did...and they're awesome! One thing that I loved right off the bat was how professional they were. Their bags are super cool, they have a multitude of interesting high-quality gifts (including pods that work with Juul - more on these in a future article), and their communication was perfectly on point. When I mentioned I'd had my eye on them, more often than not this was watching their cultivation efforts as broadcasted on Instagram. It was refreshing to see them doing it right locally and documenting the progress. I was also excited to see that the end product was released on schedule and looked prototypical of the strains utilized, not to mention beautiful! This Guava Kush is no exception. As soon as I opened the bag my heart leaped with excitement and my mouth started watering. It was obviously fresh, yet excellently cured, and its aroma was a delightfully effervescent tropical fruitiness. In the vape, the sweet, exotic, fruitiness shines through almost so much that you might think you could juice the buds and make a boat drink with some rum (don't actually try this). In a joint....there it is again, the amazing fruitiness. Seriously people, this is a deliciously fruity batch. While the heredity of Guava Kush is largely unknown, some quick online research reveals that it is in fact a sativa dominant varietal running about 65/35. This is definitely expressed in her effects, which are quite uplifting, energetic, and euphoric. However, the mental vibe is still one of calm and relaxed giddiness. Truly a very interesting and exotic sativa heavy hybrid. In terms of structure, anytime you put a fat sack into a small bag some of the buds will get a little compressed. As I've mentioned before, I'm ok with this. It's all going to get broken up at some point anyways, right? Also, note that sativa's tend to grow more stringy and so you're not necessarily going to get perfectly symmetrical cone shaped buds like you might with an indica. My guess is there's even some haze in this one's lineage - hazes tend to be elongated as these buds are. Looking past a little compression, a discerning eye first catches the sheer amount of trichomes, then the brilliantly exotic green. These buds are fluffy, spongy and were very healthy at harvest. There's no discoloration, the calyxes are mature and well-formed, the stems are a brittle white (a sign of proper nutrient levels/absorption), and there's no grassiness whatsoever. When burned the resulting ash is brilliantly white meaning it was expertly flushed as well. Overall, I'm immensely enjoying the exotic fruitiness and blissfully energetic effects of this wonderful batch of Guava Kush. The fact that I know it was excellently cultivated in DC just makes it all the more sweet! I highly recommend you hit up Green Label and get some for yourself asap!

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