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Once again, Top Secret DC coming through with some absolutely phenomenal tree. This time the batch is Miracle Alien Cookies X1, more commonly known as MAC1. She's an evenly balanced Hybrid (50% Indica / 50% Sativa) with a mouthwateringly complex aroma and flavor profile. I absolutely love this flower! In terms of cultivation, this is top of the line. Clearly an expert level, 5-star job. It's cured to perfection and the coloration, along with the incredible amount of trichomes, indicates everything from genetics to nutrient management was impeccable. In fact, given that the trichomation is so heavy there are what look like pillowy overhangs of snow, I'd say there was CO2 enrichment used in the room. What that means is that compressed CO2 canisters were deployed to improve CO2 uptake by the growing plants allowing for greater size and substantially more trichome production. The smell and flavor of this flower is SO delicious. The aroma is sweet, smooth, and creamy and these notes are mega amplified in the flavor profile which finishes with a touch of cookie/cake. It's actually kind of hard to place the flavor. In discussions with others many agreed that it greatly resembled the sugary milk left over in the bottom of a bowl of cereal. However, there was much disagreement over what type of cereal. In the end Lucky Charms seemed to be the consensus. Perhaps the more interesting takeaway was that we were all stoned enough to have an involved discussion about cereal milk for the better part of an hour. Overall, you have to try this bud. It's truly great. I could sit here and tell you more and more about how awesome it is, but that would just keep you reading longer and me from sparking my next J of it. Instead, give Top Secret DC a shout and check it out for yourself. Might be a miracle if there's any left after the weekend!

When LOCAL'd gave me the choice between several varieties to review recently, I didn't hesitate to select Marionberry. I'm into blackberry flavor and kush for nighttime, but I've also always found it interesting how this strain has found popularity in DC a la former DC Mayor Marion Barry. I don't think this is the forum for anything political so all I will say is that the Mayor seemed to be a fan of weed (according to wikipedia he tested positive for it in a 2005 mandatory drug test) and that's ok with me. They shouldn't be testing for it anyways IMO! This particular batch of Marionberry strain is clearly local grown. I love that. It always makes me happy to see local people cultivating some of God's gift. In fact, as mentioned in past articles, Local'd is a huge proponent of local DC area businesses. They only sell local products and it seems that this is often the case with their flower gifts as well. Go local! That said, I've gotten some grief over past articles where I mayyyybe gave too much of a thumbs up to something that wasn't all that amazing. I've thought long and hard about this and, while I want to give everyone in the local I-71 scene props for trying their hand at cannabis entrepreneurship, I wouldn't be benefitting the community if I wasn't being somewhat critical - or at least pointing out how everyone can get better. Right? Let's all make the bud in DC better! Right?!? OK So, for this batch the genetics are solid and the trichome production is excellent as a result. However, there are a few areas of improvement I'd like to point out. First, some of the sugar leaves and the remnants of some fan leaves have yellowing discoloration and shriveling. Second, the structure of the bud is a bit wavy. Third, when you break it up, it has the proper fruity kushy smell (this is the genetics), but it also has the odor of nutrients. Last, the calyxes or bracts are mostly miniscule. Here's what all this tells me (so you can look for it too). The discoloring and shriveling in this case are most likely due to nutrient burn. That means the cultivator was using too much in the way of nutrients or the wrong NPK values (N = Nitrogen, P = Phosphorus, K = Potassium) for the flowering phase of the plant's lifecycle. When this occurs, the PH of the plants' system can get out of wack and it can't absorb the nutrients properly. This often results not only in the discoloration, but also the inconsistent growth that leads to a more wavy structure. These types of issues are negative stressors on the plant - hence why the plant looks somewhat stressed out and, potentially, why the calyxes are small as well (although this could also be due to light deficiency - a topic for another article). In all hydroponic AND soil systems, the ph of the water in which the nutrients are being delivered is incredibly important. The type and style of nutrients is almost as important as ph. The medium used to grow, while not as vitally important, can have some of the most dramatic effects. However, one of the most important, and yet simple, parts to pay attention to in cultivation which can have a massive impact on taste and aroma, is the pre-harvest flush. You've spent all this time bringing these lovely ladies up, they've got the perfect buds all around, you cut them down at the perfect time. Perfect...right? WRONG! You forgot to flush these mofos! What I mean is that before you harvest, you have to flush the excess nutrients out of the buds. Otherwise, you'll end up with the smell and taste of nutrients in your final product. If you've ever hit something that looked incredible, but tasted super harsh and chemically, this was probably not flushed properly. Another sure way to tell is by the color of the ash. If your tree burns pure black, it's not been flushed. If it burns hyper white, it's been flushed and cured to the max. Got it? The process of flushing, in brief, is where the cultivator runs pure water, without nutrients, through the plants for a period. This can be anywhere from a week for soil medium to two days for hydroponic operations. I, personally, include various organic compost teas at the beginning of the flush to ensure some final nutrient absorption of a very high caliber. It's often amazing what kind of finishes you can get and flavors you can bring out with different styles of flushing (could dedicate a whole article to this). So....if you've grown and harvested without flushing, are you just SOL? Should I just throw this sample away? No! Of course not! You can always make some excellent butter (cooking with old samples coming to an article near you soon). Of course, you can always roll it up and smoke it if it catches your fancy - I'm not here to tell you what to do with...you. The truth is...I enjoyed this Marionberry. It wasn't bad. It was pretty good. Would I smoke it again? Yep. Is it going to go on my list of best batches ever? Nah. Should I use it as a way to help everyone understand how to grow and select better cannabis flower? I feel like this was already addressed... If you're into local goods, and you want to toast local trees, holler at LOCAL'd. Will their shit be better in the future? Maybe. Would I be down to help them make their crop awesome? For sure. Can I be certain that their gifts never travelled inside of a vacuum sealed bag from elsewhere? Fairly. What's important to you? That's for you to decide ;)

I'm often asked, through this site and via in-person interaction, if I still "vape". I find this to be a quite intriguing question, especially since the recent contaminated vape debacle coined as EVALI. Sometimes I dive down the rabbit hole discussing how uncanny the timing is between the "JUUL crisis", the EVALI uproar, and the release of new e-cig-like devices from big tobacco companies. Other times I simply mention how vitamin E acetate seems to be the main culprit and that you should probably still stay away from shady or bargain vape cartridges (but shouldn't you always?). However, one fan recently followed up the question of if I vape still with "what are you using to vape now and how are you vaping the FLOWER you review?" Aha! Here is someone who has actually been reading my articles from the near beginning - not just looking at the pretty pictures and wondering where to pick-up. I was actually waiting for this question, and eager to respond to it. What's surprising is how long it took me to get it. The reason being that I typically mention not only the smoked flavor of the flower varietals I review, I also try to dig into the vaped taste as well. But, how do I vape flower? Do I smoke or vape concentrate? What are my preferred methods? I haven't discussed any of these things with you guys! During my aforementioned conversation with said fan and my elaboration on the topic it dawned on me that when most people think of vaping, they ONLY think of cartridges. Others, when they think of flower, only think of smoking. And still others, when they think of concentrate, only think of their dab rig. People! We don't vape the same! But we used to. Yes, I too was swooned by the allure of vape cartridges. After all, here was the seemingly perfect solution! Something that allowed me to medicate well, but also do it discretely. However, as a huge fan of convenience, safety, and customization, I was quickly disgruntled with crappy vape pen batteries. Then I became super frustrated with the cost and lack of reliability of cartridges (CO2, Distillate, Live Resin, Terp Sauce, etc.) altogether. I didn't want to smoke all the time, but I still needed to manage my digestive issues. I also needed to medicate discretely at various times which is really difficult with great flower. Fed up with options in my nearby glass shop I started doing research. First, I scoured the internet far and wide looking for various new and time tested products along with their reviews. Then I asked around to all my homies, local and abroad, to see what they advised in terms of vaping. Finally I sought advice from a few local vape shops and the subsequent vape experts they pointed me to. After all this (probably too much) information gathering, I narrowed the search down to a group that I ordered and began to try in various situations. Saving you the walkthrough of the trials (perhaps I will do it again to find new devices in the future) and cutting a long story short, I arrived at four amazing (or should I say E-mazing) devices that are my go-to now: Atmos Micro Pal The first device I'd like to share with you all is the Atmos Micro Pal. This company, Atmos, is super awesome when it comes to vape apparatuses, with a really wide selection to choose from. The Micro Pal is their version of a handheld, internal cartridge-based battery solution. While it will take nearly any 510mm threaded cartridge, the real key for me is that it comes with a loadable ceramic cartridge that's easily loaded with your favorite form of waxy concentrate. That's right fellow tokers! You can unscrew this 510 threaded metal cartridge and load up live resin, diamonds, terp sauce, shatter, etc. into the ceramic chamber and coil that are on the inside. Then you screw it back together and boom, you've got a super discrete, great tasting, monster hit producing, concentrate pen in your pocket. I seriously love this thing. The ONLY downside is that the cartridges can get clogged and need to be replaced about every 40 to 60 days depending on frequency of use. But hey, it's $12 for a replacement cartridge. You'd spend that just trying to get close to the effectiveness of this guy with your standard cartridges. The battery itself has a convenient magnetic attachment setup, four different temperature levels (I keep it on the lowest) and can take a beating without compromising it's integrity or overall operability. I consider it my perfect "around town" piece and it works great in almost any setting without detection. You can pick up the Micro Pal and re-fillable cartridges at AtmosRX.com. Atmos Kiln RA Device of choice #2 is almost as portable as the Micro Pal, but not as discrete. It's the Kiln RA (Replaceable Atomizer) and what it lacks in ability to hide it more than makes up for in smoothness of hit. This cylindrical battery and ceramic kiln combination is an amazing travel companion. You can get different mouth pieces for the top (see oversized clear glass attachment below) and it comes in an array of colors. This one is not quite as indestructible, and can leak when it's been too full or too hot, but if you want something a bit more powerful to bring along with you this is it. It can be the beach going, festival camping, ski gondola hotboxing, device you need it to be, just takes a bit more planning and care. The best parts of this contraption are how easy it is to load, clean, and use...but the very best part is the hits it can produce. Something about the arrangement of the ceramic plate (i'll leave the science and spec talk to the Atmos people). Incidentally it's also a great "lay in bed all day and recover after a Super Bowl party" kind of device. Buy yours today at AtmosRX.com. VOOPOO X217 w/ Atmos Studio Rig Attachment This third device is quite a bit more advanced and technical - and really the combination of two devices. But hey, if crossbreeds can result in some of the finest flower, why can't the same concept be applied to delivery methods? Notably, this is a mix of some of the best digital and analog technology in the industry. In my research, I was really hoping to find a water filtered option. This often results in the smoothest, most delicious hits. While perusing the Atmos website one day (yes, I might be a little obsessed with these guys) I found they had announced an awesome bubbler modification called the "Studio Rig". Immediately curious, but not really into the idea of "dabbing" I dug in and read their pitch for why I should consider this mod versus the countless others I had read about/tried. With its unique ability to swap out various heating chambers, a titanium nail for concentrate and a ceramic chamber for flower, I was immediately sold and placed my order. You heard correctly, this amazing glass bubbler attachment can be re-configured for vaping both concentrate and flower! Below is the chamber and connector (many colors available) I use for concentrate along with a view of the titanium nail on the inside of the bucket. Then note the ceramic chamber for flower further below which slides into the same connector piece (I have more than one connector piece - more on that in a moment). That connector piece, with either chamber inserted, then slides into the glass apparatus as so: The ONLY challenge is that if you vape flower out of it and then use the same glass apparatus for concentrate, the vaped flower aroma overtakes that of the concentrate. To solve this you can simply buy an extra connector and an extra bubbler attachment. Then when you want to vape flower, screw on the designated flower vaping attachment. When you want to vape concentrate, screw on the designated concentrate vaping attachment. I cannot tell you how much of a fan of this interchangeable setup I am! You might be asking: But, what do we screw it on? Well, let me tell you about my Lil' friend... The VOOPOO 217 Box Mod is a collaborative effort with Woody Vapes to create a superlative device that integrates the phenomenal GENE.FAN Chip with dynamic power output modes all within a visually stunning, Light-Up LED design. With attention-to-detail at the forefront, the VOOPOO x Woody Vape X217 implements high-quality chassis construction with carbon fiber inlays and a large 1.3" TFT HD Screen for the ultimate user experience. The integrating GENE Chip maintains the ultra-fast 0.01 seconds firing speed and four dynamic output modes are possible with 217 watts of max output. It also has accurate atomizer detection and top-of-the-line safety protections. I mean this thing is like the Tesla of vapes! It even has two batteries! It has literally never died on me! Anyhow, it's certainly not as portable as the smaller options I've presented, but neither are bongs - and this thing hits pretty much like a small bong. Bring it with you if you need to, but carefully. Here's the full setup ready to rock in concentrate mode: Also, you must realize that this is not like other dab rigs. If you're like me, there's something about turning on a blow torch and heating an attachment (glass, titanium, or otherwise) that just turns me off. It creates a situation where over an estimated amount of time an uncertain, high temperature will be achieved and used to gasify concentrate into my lungs. Sure it's cooled by water as it travels through the system, but so is a nuclear power plant! My point is that with an electric device or "e-dabber", such as the one above, you can be much more confident about the max temperature of the air that is entering your lungs. After all, they say the majority of harm done to your lungs from smoking or vaping cannabis comes from the heat of the smoke/air. Why not lock that temperature in somewhere relatively low where you can get maximum flavor and cannabinoid release, with little to no impact on the integrity of your airways? Overall this last option is the best one I've found when it comes to interchangeability. It's not cheap (roughly $200 with all the options and double connector setup), but it's a lot cheaper than a new ROOR or other glass bong. It's also, I would argue, considerably more healthy and discrete than a traditional glass water pipe. You can order up the Studio Rig and all it's amazing attachments today at AtmosRX.com. If you like any of these options and want to give them a try, I can get credit for referring you to the company if you simply click on the links provided for each apparatus. Your contributions are much appreciated!!! Next Up: We Don't Vape the Same PART 2 - Where's the Best Concentrate in DC?

Calling all tokers! This batch of Alien Cookies from Baked DC is out of this world and connoisseur level for sure. It's an evenly balanced hybrid (50/50) strain and a cross of famed Girl Scout Cookies and Alien Dawg. While you all may be familiar with a lot of GSC crossbreeds, the Alien Dawg influence in this one is what makes a bit of a UFO. That's because Alien Dawg originated from an unknown strain brought back by a US soldier from Afghanistan and crossed with Nor Cal Chemdawg. In terms of effects, it hits the 50/50 on the nose with cheery, giddiness, and relaxation...all without too much couch lock. It's great for getting through almost any part of your day in a mellow way. The colors and texture of this bud are probably the most striking things about it. There's so much coloration, from purple to pink, lime to evergreen. Then there's the fuzzy white snow- covered accents created by the immense amount of trichomes. When you break it up, it's so soft and crumbly, releasing incredible floral and exotic, other worldly aromas. The taste is just as it smells at first, very tangy, sweet, and fruity, but transforms upon exhale to more of a vanilla, cookie batter flavor. Def. try this one in the vape and the joint - delightfully tasty either way! You don't need to get beamed up to the mothership to try this strain out for yourself. Just hit up Baked DC and schedule an appointment quick before this one is...lost in space?

When LA does Girl Scout Cookies (GSC), they don't play around. This batch of LA Kookies from Top Secret DC is GSC crossed with GSC offspring OG Kush Breath, making for the most amazing cookie-mouthed cannabis bash you can imagine. This one gets 5 stars for sure! The effects are warm and fuzzy, much like a traditional GSC, and without couch lock. In fact, I would say that this version is considerably more energetic than most Indica leaning hybrids. The aroma is very, very sweet with obvious cookie/cake like notes that are also abundantly apparent in the flavor. When smoked, the savoriness gives away to almost a skunky, coffee like aftertaste. Maybe a coffee with 2 sugars and some cream? But wait, seems like there are fruity notes as well when rolled in a joint. So complex and so delicious! I don't think I need to talk about the cultivator or cure on this one - it's getting 5 stars, enough said. Just in case you need to hear it though, this is a perfect specimen of the variety. Do yourself the favor that you'll be thanking yourself for the rest of the week and schedule an appointment with Top Secret DC ASAP to add this lovely lady to your stash!

I'm SO stoked to welcome Top Secret DC to the Toker's Guide! They've got a really cool concept where you can buy an interesting secret about DC and get a free cannabis gift. The bigger the secret, the bigger the gift! Well, let it be no secret that these guys have some phenomenal buds to behold...and they must have done their homework because this Tangie Wreck is a haze lover's dream (huge haze lover here). A cross of two terpene powerhouses, the infamous Trainwreck and Tangie, she's just a touch on the sativa side, but comes with all the amazing citrusy haziness you can handle. Seriously, the aroma and flavor profiles on this batch are just incredible. When smoking, what starts as quite sugary and cookie-like ends with exotically tropical fruitiness. In the structure, the buds are a bit wispy, but this is the nature of tangie. What she lacks in stature she more than makes up for in content. The cure is perfect - utterly, utterly, perfect. I think there are trichomes growing on top of trichomes on top of trichomes. The effects are very energetic and uplifting at first, but then settle into a mellower buzz. The euphoria and joyful sense remain for a lengthy time, however. You might find yourself lost in a daydream while floating around town, and be completely ok with it. Overall, this Tangie Wreck is a glorious treat and gave me the energy and creativity I needed to finish my day and roll into my night with a nice mellow vibe. Head on over to Top Secret DC asap to get some of this lovely lady for yourself. The best part is, you don't need to be James Bond or work at a three letter acronym to get access - just shoot 'em a text!

Happy New Years everyone! I've been out and about gathering some of the finest specimens in DC over the past couple weeks so get ready for an onslaught of posts over the coming days, weeks...months. I have to say, the first harvests of 2020 that I've been seeing so far are very, very impressive. Many are still curing and looking more and more phenomenal by the day. Stay tuned! With the explosion of new, craft, designer, 5 star, 4 boobed, 6 legged, 8 dicked weed out there it's always nice to see an excellent cultivator putting forth an impeccable example of a tried and tested classic. Like this Sour Diesel from Puff Puff DC, for example. You can go around the country smoking top shelf the whole way and not get as fantastically stoned as a joint from at batch of Sour D like this. It must be noted that I AM a big sativa fan - and this is a mega sativa - so you might be saying "Oh, big surprise, Matt likes the Sour D". Well yes. Yes I do. It's great. It smells like two diesel dump trucks full of citrus fruit ran over a surfeit (yep, that's what it's called) of skunks and collided at 80 mph. The buds are big and beefy with giant mutant hairs and white trichomes throughout. The pale and bright green coloring is prototypical of the strain as is its rich, gassy, coffee, skunky, sour, amazing diesel flavor. You gotta smoke this one people! Hit her before getting things DONE! For example, I just want to keep writing and writing right now. But I gotta hit the gym for a two hour workout...and then run 5 miles! DIESEL!!! Baaaahhhh!!!!! JK Go check out Puff Puff DC today and pick up some for yourself!

Happy holidays everyone! I hope you've all been able to toke down on some phenomenal trees over these past couple days! Maybe you even got some in your stocking? I was overjoyed to find some amazing Christmas Cookies in mine - more on this coming soon. If there was one thing that helped me get through the stress of shopping and travel over the past couple weeks it was having awesome, evenly balanced flower around to keep my energy levels high and my patience long. One of these balanced beauties was from new addition to our Weed Services page, LOCAL'd. She's called Lime Skunk and she's a doozy. LOCAL'd is a service designed to help local, DC community businesses specifically. They sell local goods and deliver them with a gift of cannabis. My local product was an amazing dark chocolate bar from CHOCOTENANGO. This was some of the most delectable, mouth-watering, dark chocolate I have ever had. It was incredibly rich, locally made, and paired nicely with the flower's lime aftertaste. It's my guess that they keep everything they can in the local economy and that even the gifts they have are locally grown. I arrived at this conclusion because the freshness of this batch of Lime Skunk was so apparent - it had clearly been chopped very recently. However, after giving it a good 24 hours to rest in my curing box, it was ready to buuurn dooown. I'm happy to do a little curing if it means giving back to the local community! In terms of effects, she's a solid 50/50 and her flavor is of strong, effervescent lime with a tinge of skunkyness. Her effects are that of a typical sativa but moderated and with more on the cerebral side much like a haze. If you need to get shit done and want to feel mellow about doing it, this is a good strain. As an added bonus, there are many who have said she's also very good at relieving symptoms of stress. If you're looking for something to keep you going, but feeling chill for NYE this could be the one. Give LOCAL'd a shout asap to add her to your own stash!

Happy Friday! This new Blackberry Wreck (aka Berry Wreck) from Baked DC is a fantastic hazy crossbreed and we are big big fans. It's their second 5 Star review this week people! The smell is that of ripe blackberry and asian plum, but with a hazy twist. The haze influence comes from the Trainwreck - a cross of two potent sativa hazes - and readers should note that this does have a good amount of sativa-like effects that come with it. They say it should be balanced 50/50, but it's a little hard to believe. If you want to zone out and go for a really long bike ride or run, it would probably be a benefit. Energy is going to be flowing strong along with creativity and cerebral vibrance. The Blackberry Kush side of the strain, however, brings a nice little euphoric body buzz to boot. Anyhow, this batch is just incredible. The buds are beefy with super frosty and starry trichomes everywhere. There are deep purple tips throughout nearly turquoise calyxes - simply beautiful. This was expertly grown and cured for sure. It's so, so sticky and leaves its delightful aroma all over your fingers and everywhere you go. If you like sativa's, hazes, or simply amazing and exotic daytime bud, you'll love this lady for sure. Head over to Baked DC immediately to check her out before she's gone!

Welcome to our first FIVE STAR review in a few weeks. This batch of Tropical Sleigh Ride from Baked DC is so aromatic with such a magnificently, exotic tropical flavor. It's literally like vaping a boat drink - pina colada, daiquiri, tequila sunrise, something of this nature. The flavor varies slightly from hit to hit, but is always SO delicious! Winner of 2 awards at the Emerald Cup in 2017, this strain has some of the highest terpene content in the world! One of the awards was for uniqueness of terpene profile, testing with an intensely high amount of Ocimene. Need we say more about its flavor? In terms of effects, this one is going to blow you away. It's high potency and sativa heavy, so get ready for a rush of energy and creativity. The euphoric aspect is also astounding. You might even call this a good social varietal, though probably not for the newbie. Heritage: Greenshock Farms’ “Purple Candy Cane” crossed with Mean Gene's phenomenal "Pineapple". This is truly a rare, craft strain of the highest order. Her trichomes are layered on thick, coating every space available. There are purple and blue hues all over, with both dark and lime green. The calyxes are fully mature, the buds are fluffy and crisp, and the cure is utter perfection. SUCH good smoke to roll too, though you might need some rubbing alcohol to get the sticky icky off your fingers (don't forget the grinder!). We STRONGLY recommend hitting up Baked DC to check this out for yourself ASAP!!!

As I've said before, I'm a big fan of OG's, and this platinum OG from DC Teapad is one of my flavorites. The aroma is like a cross between a pine tree, diesel truck, and coffee. The taste is gassy, skunky, and piney with exotic, almost savory kush notes stemming from the Platinum aspect. Of course, this one is a super potent and indica heavy cross between OG Kush and Platinum Kush. She'll make you want to just keep rolling her up she's so good. The body buzz and euphoria are the most noticeable effects. The sleepiness isn't as prevalent in this one as compared with many indica's I smoke, but it's there. It's not that you can't do anything, or don't want to do anything. It's that anything you do you're going to be SUPER mellow doing. Not a good one if you have to be on your toes. In terms of structure, this one is a little compressed from packaging. She's incredibly stinky so one can imagine why. However, one look at the trichomes layered all over these buds and you can tell that it's a good batch. The cure is also perfect making it smoke like a dream. If you like OG's as much as I do, give the guys over at DC Teapad a shout and pick up some for yourself today!

London Poundcake is an indica dominant hybrid strain created through crossing the delicious Sunset Sherbet with another, unknown indica-heavy hybrid strain. While typically sweet and fruity with a hint of almond, this batch from Baked DC is more bread or cake-like with pronounced nuttiness. The potency of this strain is extremely high with average THC levels around 28% and you can certainly tell. When vaped or smoked this one will make you walk, then crawl, then ooze to the nearest couch or bed. There are those who have said she helps them with stress, depression, and mood swings. We found it extremely, extremely relaxing, but without the confusion or cloudiness that can sometimes come from strong indica's. The buds of this batch are crisp and quite fluffy. The structure is good, but the cultivator could have done more to foster trichome production. Additionally, the cure is slightly off. We think this may have caused the lean toward sweet/nuttiness versus sweet/fruitiness. Nevertheless, the strain is certainly worth a try due to the clarity/relaxation pairing that results from its effects. Head over to Baked DC to try this, and their many other intriguing strains, out asap!