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Top of the morning to all you tokers out there! As you prep for a lovely weekend here in the DC area I wanted to share a delicious and especially cozy treat with you that I'm sure you'd love to partake in. It goes by the name of London Poundcake and, while we've reviewed the strain before, this batch is of true Cookies genetics and comes to us from the renowned Exotic Blooms. The quality here, as always from Exotic Blooms, is immediately evident by the stunning amount of starry trichomes blanketing these buds. You'll also quickly notice that the smell is shockingly like that of a rich, sugary cake. If you're not familiar with the Cookies brand, they are the cultivators of the famous Girl Scout Cookies which have been crossed to create many scrumptious other desert-oriented cultivars like Gelato and Sunset Sherbet. In the case of the London Poundcake, Sunset Sherbet has been crossed with an undisclosed indica and the result is quite astounding. In terms of effects, this is certainly not going to give you energy. It IS going to give you an amazingly euphoric body buzz that feels like a warm sweater. With a 70/30 indica skew the ideal activities for this strain are along the lines of sunbathing, floating in a pool, laying on couches, watching movies, and trying not to eat everything in your freezer. Which, happen to be my exact plans for this coming Saturday. One other thing to discuss while on the topic of Exotic Blooms is the beautiful design and spectacularly airtight nature of their bags. Literally everything from these guys has an aroma you should be able to smell from the other side of the Potomac (cue Virginia cops running around chasing the air in vain), but it's these beautiful bags that keep it from happening. If you're into legit cookies' strains or if you're just planning on having a super chill, feel good weekend you can't go wrong with this simply perfect batch of London Poundcake. Give our good friends at Exotic Blooms a shout ASAP to get yours!

"Holy Apricot Jelly, Batman!" Ok, so this probably wasn't something that Robin said to Batman in the legendary television show. But, he'd probably say it now after one taste of this batch of Apricot Jelly from Exotic Blooms 😂 This super duper rare sativa dominant hybrid is a cross of the phenomenal Jelly Breath and Irene Apricot strains. It is definitely on the speedy side of things when it comes to effects and MOST definitely not for the noobs. You can probably power through most any work or workout with this one by your side. No cloudy head either! Just pure funky fruity flavored energy for hours. About that funky fruity flavor too - it is seriously something to behold. I'm actually going to go to the store later, pick up a pack of fresh apricots, and compare the smell. I say this because I'm not completely sure what a fresh apricot smells like, but I'm pretty sure this has to be right on point. It's an utterly exotic fruit forward flavor and aroma the likes of which I have not smelled in a bud before - Apricot Terp Level achieved!?! Guys! If you like fruity, funky, phenomenally strong sativas this is a great specimen for your collection. It's oozing with trichomes, it's got all the flavor you want, and if you smoke enough of it you might find yourself running around your neighborhood like a certain aforementioned caped crusader. Hit up DC I-71 super heroes Exotic Blooms today and level up yourself. Don't forget promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" for $10 off!

This batch of ultra premium, evenly balanced hybrid, Apple Fritter from Joint Delivery is an amazing mashup of high-flavor and high-potency parents Animal Cookies and Sour Apple. It's super skunky sour apple aroma is perfectly intertwined with a sugarly cake-like mouth and notes of vanilla, caramel, and cinnamon as well. Your mouth will literally water as soon as you open up a jar of this stuff. And yes, I said jar because this high grade deliciousness comes packed in sturdy glass jars with screw off lids - the best way imo to tote crazy stanky flower like this around town. The level of quality achieved with this batch is immediately apparent as the large, pure white layers of trichomes clash with dark and light greens. The texture is super soft and pliable - this bud is OH SO fresh. There are even hues of deep purple and red on some of the top colas. This was undoubtedly cared for and manicured at the very highest level. When inhaled there's a savory flavor that takes over instantly and causes the same mouth watering effects as its first smell, but in much greater intensity. As you hold it in, the tingle of a needed cough becomes stronger and stronger, but in a pleasant way. When you do first exhale a cough is almost inescapable. There's a rush to your forehead and your entire body is soon wrapped up in a cozy hug of a buzz. There is some energy with this one, but also the ability to curl up with the very noticeable and euphoric body buzz. The skunky sour apple aroma will tend to cling to all that you do, so be aware, but your energy levels should allow you to tackle your easy going exercise like yoga or a walk. You're probably not going to want to go for a run or anything more strenuous though. I actually found this to be a most enjoyable strain for cooking. Not putting it your food, although I'm sure that would be interesting as well, but partaking beforehand and carrying a buzz while you cook or grill. Something about the flavor that goes well with the smells of a going kitchen and the moderate energy (and occasional tastes) make it all that much more enjoyable. Additionally, the buzz is extremely long lasting so no need to leave the grill to reload. I highly recommend hitting up Joint Delivery ASAP to try this Apple Fritter batch, of the very highest order, for yourself. Don't forget to mention promo code "TokersGuide" for $10 off!

Just to be clear from the start, T.I.T.S. stands for "This Is The Shit". It has nothing to do with a part of the human anatomy and I don't condone the use of the word in any demeaning way. I'm only using it within the context of this cannabis strain, OG T.I.T.S. from Puff Puff DC, and I must say, it's definitely the shit. T.I.T.S. is an early Cookies phenotype, crossed with Sour Diesel, which is known for it's extreme strength and powerful coffee-like aroma. Crossing high potency strains with OG Kush, as in this case, is something that's usually done to add structure, ease cultivation, and increase yield. In this batch, the cross clearly produced a robust and well-structured plant, but also buds with one of the most striking contrasts in colors that I've seen in some time. The dark green of the OG side of the family tree combined with the sugary white trichomes characteristic of T.I.T.S., gives the appearance of heavily snow capped alpine evergreens. In terms of flavor and aroma, the traditional ultra-piney OG is combined with a rich Diesel-like coffee profile along with some serious skunkyness on top. Rolling her in joints is my preferred way to partake and it has one of those tastes and smoothnesses that makes you want to just keep hitting it and hitting it and hitting it. Running pretty much in the middle of the road on the indica/sativa spectrum, this is certainly a nice way to enjoy the robustly enjoyable flavor of a Diesel cross without some of the agro sativa effects notorious of the cultivar. Overall, I really love this strain as an outdoor toking option. Something about the sun, the amazingly rich flavor, the moderate energy level, and a great body buzz that makes you want to bring it along for a long hike or a city adventure. Also, the savory nature makes it perfect for pairing with a red wine. Hit up Puff Puff DC asap and, however you decide to enjoy this batch, I bet you'll be finding yourself saying "damn, this shit is the T.I.T.S."

To date I would put much of the bud I've reviewed for Top Secret DC into a very distinguished category. I've been to plenty of dispensaries out west where I was in search of the caliber that Top Secret typically carries, and not found it. I think that speaks volumes about their dedication to quality. Recently, I've noticed some old school exotic strains making an appearance on their menu. Malawi Gold - for example - was an incredible rendition of a classic land race strain. I got to try it, but when I went for reviews they were already sold out 🤦‍♂️ . This Utopia Haze continues this old-school-grown-new-school wave of perfection and, in fact, sets the bar just a little bit higher in my opinion. If you've been following Toker's Guide long then you undoubtedly know about my near obsession with hazes. This haze varietal, however, isn't like many others you might come across. No, this overtly sativa dominant hybrid (90% sativa/10% indica) strain created through crossing Grass Dream and Brazilian Sativa has a tremendously complex aroma. Noticeably absent is an overwhelming citrus solvent smell (typical of many hazes) which, instead, has been replaced with an exotic woody/skunky-ness. As you continue to smell, a piney fruitiness begins to emerge as well. Overall, the scent is not unlike the cross between extremely ripe, fresh papaya and green tea. Like I said, a very complex aroma and, even though it's not totally haze-like, I'm a huge fan. The flavor profile is similarly complex, except the woody/tea/skunky part is overwhelming, even spicy at first. Upon exhale the spiciness seems to tingle throughout your mouth. There are notes of mint, chocolate, and coffee. Soon the mix of flavors inundates all your senses while a rush of warm tingles runs up your spine and surrounds your head. The euphoria is strong with this one! Then the haze takes hold and you're swept off on a mystical voyage in your mind, with enough energy to accomplish many tasks, but with an ironic lack of desire to maintain mental clarity. Try cleaning on this stuff and you'll spend three hours running around your house doing it while completely lost in your head (and with a big smile on your face). Taking first place for Best Sativa in the 2008 High Time's Cannabis Cup, this batch of Utopia Haze is emblematic of the saying "an oldie but a goodie", but in this case you can scratch out "a goodie" and replace it with "I'll take all of it, thanks". Holler at Top Secret DC as fast as you can - I can't imagine this one will last long!

Having had the good fortune to try some of the famed Sherbinski genetics the last time I was in San Francisco, I was elated when Exotic Blooms handed me this batch of Sherbinksi Gelato Acai Berry. The Sherbinski story is an intriguing one of local focus and an unyielding passion for flower quality that has led them to produce such "world-famous genetics"as Pink Panties, Sunset Sherbert, and Gelato. The Gelato line, which includes Bacio, Mochi, Acai Berry, and Gello, is especially exotic in aroma and flavor with notes of coffee, tropical fruit, and sweet cream - a connoisseur's dream! This particular batch of Gelato Acai Berry is very obviously and unquestionably the real deal. Its flavors are spectacularly rich and its aroma alone is staggeringly powerful. With its deep hues of purple and green contrasted against vibrant orange hairs and a super smattering of starry trichomes, its appearance is almost intimidating. Have no fear, though, because she's not the type of bud to snatch all your energy and leave you on the couch for hours. In fact, this one runs sativa-heavy which some might find counterintuitive given the aforementioned dark coloration. Per usual, you're going to find the most spectacular array of flavors when vaping this batch, but the bong is honestly the most joyful for me. Usually, the flavorful ones are lost a bit on the bong - it doesn't necessarily pass through certain tastes that well. Not with this Gelato! It comes running up the tube and rushes your face with an explosion of its immense flavor and aroma. Then it ties a golden headband around your scalp and gives you the energy levels necessary to entice all kinds of activities. So on that note, I'm going to pull a tube of the last of this (literally) world-class Gelato Acai Berry, and head out for a long trail run. Hit up the one and only Exotic Blooms today to get yours and maybe I'll see you out there! PS: Don't forget promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" for $10 off.

Good morning tokers! I'm taking this opportunity to do a rare morning post due to the outstanding, daytime-oriented effects of this amazing batch of Sour Strawberry from Puff Puff DC. While this hybrid's sativa/indica ratio is generally thought to be unknown, I can tell you my personal opinion is that her sativa effects are easily the most dominant. With East Coast Sour Diesel and Strawberry Cough (both phenomenal sativa's in their own right) in the family tree it's not hard to see why. Yet, the warm/glowing body buzz you'll also feel can be attributed to its other parent, indica flavor hero Razzberry. So for me, when you combine tangy fruitiness, coffee-like energy levels, and a fuzzy sweater of a body buzz you get the perfect supplement to a beautiful morning. While wake-n-baking with this delight you'll also find that the mental clarity afforded by her won't make the "bake" part as noticeable to those around you who might care. Can they really tell you're a little stoney on these work Zoom calls anyways? Is it wrong to have a not-so-different-than-coffee buzz "at" work? I think you can guess where I stand. Isn't it hard enough to get through COVID lockdowns, Zoom conference calls, and work from home territorial conflicts already? Purely based on appearance, this weed looks as strong as it is. It's incredibly lime green with tan colored hairs (similar to the Sour D if you're familiar) and the trichome coverage is completely insane. You even get some easily visible golden tint to the kief as it piles up (and oh will it ever pile up) in whatever jar you attempt to contain her in. When you break it up by hand the remnants will look like a desert sand storm just inundated your fingers. Aroma wise, this one will really wake you up right with a sweet, gassy, piney, solvent-like whoosh as soon as you open the bag (or jar). Eventually, the intensity quells and fruitier notes reign. That overpowering aroma is passed on to the flavor when smoked, however I definitely recommend trying this one in the vape as the terpenes are deliciously complex at lower temperature settings. I've even noticed hints of genuine strawberry at these low temps. Overall, I'm really loving the vibrant energy, creativity, and clarity I'm feeling from what is truly a fantastic batch of a rare and delicious Diesel offshoot. Hit up DC I-71 legends Puff Puff DC today and grab some for your collection before it's gone!

"Awesome Sauce" is a term I used to throw out a lot for period of time when I was a little younger. I thought it appropriate to bring back to life with the following strain of Pop Rox from Exotic Blooms. This shit is literally THE Awesome Sauce. To be honest, it doesn't really taste like pop rocks anyways. I mean, it does sting your tongue a little, but only in a pleasant way. No this batch of the rather elusive Pop Rox is a little fruity, a lot skunky, and more like a savory spoon full of some fruit infused marinade than a candy. Regardless, it is OH SO mouth wateringly delicious and its strength....it's strength is frankly ready to put you on a mission to Mars. If you're looking for a night time indica to squash all the negative feels of the day away, this is your jam. It's got that make-your-eyelids-droop-in-a-pleasant-way kind of buzz to it. You know, the one where you don't really want to get up to get another glass of wine, but when you do you slowly stroll to the kitchen like you're walking on big pillows. Maybe you giggle a bit - or a lot - because you accidentally poured your wine onto the counter distracted looking at a poster on the wall. Yeah, this is that kind of weed. As always from Exotic Blooms, this bud has been cultivated to the MAX. It literally could not be a more perfect specimen of spectacularly grown indica - so rich in color and starry trichomes. In fact, it would be lovely to know more about this truly phenomenal crop. However, again, her lineage turns out to be a closely guarded secret. It does seem to be the case that this strain originates from, and has been almost exclusive to, Las Vegas. I guess in Vegas there's probably high demand for cannabis that can help cure any hangover and/or put you to sleep at any hour of the day. Enough of this shit and you'll feel like gold no matter where you are or what quarantine you're supposed to be in. Overall, this is my new indica jam of the week - maybe the month (We'll see). Go check it out for yourself! Holler at Exotic Blooms ASAP before this Awesome Sauce is GONE. PS: Don't forget promo code "Toker's Guide Sent Me" for $10 off.

If you like the old school lemonheads candy like I do, you will love this batch of Lemonheads (aka Lemonhead OG) from Joint Delivery. She's a sativa heavy hybrid that hails from renowned Royal Choice Farms out of the Arizona medical cannabis scene. Interestingly, unlike many other varieties dubbed "Lemon" in name, this particular strain is a sweeter, candy-like aroma whereas others can be more solvent-like. I'd say the uniqueness of this lemon flavor alone makes this bud worth the try for all ye connoisseurs out there. Another noteworthy aspect of this bud is its energy levels - they're off the charts! I typically like to smoke what I'm reviewing right before or even during my writing session. Some would say that the variety of cannabis being reviewed has been directly influencing my writing style. Well OK! I love it! What better way to pass on a deeper sense of the effects and overall experience of a gift under review than the undertones of its effects exhibited in words written about it? So, if I had to comment on what I feel being passed through me as I type this, it is sheer energy paired with a slight lack of cerebral clarity. I could be more focused right now (can you tell?), but my mind is wanting to rapidly jump from stimuli to stimuli. Considering all the aforementioned energetic effects you might be surprised - just as I was - to find that this strain stems from a Kush cutting. Most of the time Kushes that you will encounter at I-71 services and dispensaries will run on the indica side. So while the cerebral nature of the variety would be familiar to Kush smokers, the energy levels may leave them joyfully puzzled. Daytime only folks! I imagine sleep would be very challenging if you pack her in your pipe before bed. As always with Joint Delivery, and all of our Toker's Guide Top Five, this bud is impeccable in structure, cure, and overall quality. Its cultivation was undoubtedly tended to by seasoned professionals and this is highly evident in its appearance, aroma, and flavor. The texture of the bud is quite crumbly and gritty bushels of trichomes will coat your fingers like fine sand as you bread it up. For a fuller, terpene profile oriented experience, I recommend loading her in a flower vape. Otherwise, grab your papers because this is the perrrrfect joint rolling tree. If you've got a ton of work, exercise, or even sports to play, but want to take a nice little buzz and lot of extra energy with you, then check these Lemonheads out. Hit up Joint Delivery and schedule your delivery appointment today! ...AND don't forget to use the promo code "TokersGuide" to get $10 off!

If you're into designer and exotic cannabis and you haven't checked out Exotic Blooms yet...what are you waiting for?!? I mean, looking over the strains I have in my queue to review for them I have to say, DAMN it's hard to not smoke them all before I even get a chance to take their pictures! Next up from the queue is Indica powerhouse "Rookie of the Year". As with the last strain from Exotic Blooms this one's genetics are also shrouded in mystery. It seems less and less these cultivators are willing to share the ingredients of what they're working with. However, I did have a chance encounter last year in Northern California that comes to mind when the term "rookie of the year" in mentioned in reference to cannabis. This gentleman had explained to me that crossing Zkittles with some local OG Kush was his "rookie of the year" and spent some time showing me why. I must say this strain seems very, very similar in coloration, structure and aroma from what I can remember. It's worth mentioning that the main reason given by this cultivator was that Zkittles was a new age strain capable of producing more terps and extremely high THC levels of 30%+. However, it was difficult to grow and didn't always make for the best eye candy. So, if you take Zkittles and cross it with a hearty grower and visually appealing strain like OG Kush, you hopefully retain the high THC content and terps, but with higher yield and a new sexy look. In baseball, a similar kind of thing happens if you think about it. A ball club picks up an athlete with a ton of potential out of college and then sends them to the minor leagues to get bigger, faster, stronger, and more skillful. When the timing is right the kid steps into the majors as a rookie, but vastly improved, thus having a great shot at the "Rookie of the Year" title. Has that happened here, with this batch? Maybe? Who knows? Either way, whether OZ Kush or not, I'm fairly confident in the presence of Kush in the heredity of this strain. I'm also confident that the THC levels are extremely high. As with most indica's it is very sedative and relaxing, with not a speck of pain left in your body - which has also become inundated with a calm, warm glow. Like many Kush varietals, however, there is still mental clarity and the couch feels good, but isn't necessarily required. Her aroma is woodsy, earthy, skunky, and with a hint of grape. She's not dissimilar from a glass of full bodied red wine. In flavor, these same notes come out amidst a wash of exotically delicious spices. The smoke even seems to move differently with this one (and with Kush strains in general) twirling in a more enchanting way, grabbing your attention and helping you drift away towards a trance-like state. If you need to get some thinking done, want to Netflix and chill, or are feeling some restlessness over the lockdown in DC being extended into June, this might be the perfect strain for you! Head over to Exotic Blooms today and check her out for yourself!

As far as exotic cannabis flavors go, cake batter has always ranked high on the list for me. This batch from Joint Delivery is no exception. With sugary, slightly bitter, and bready notes in sequence, it runs your taste buds through a delightful roller coaster ride - one that leaves even the most discerning tokers puzzled to identify the flavors they're experiencing. Flavor aside, this Girl Scout Cookies offshoot (aka Pink Cookies and Wedding Cookies) packs a buzz filled punch with THC levels hovering around 24% on average. She also leans solidly sativa whereas many in the Cookies family tend to be 50/50 or slightly indica. You'll love this one in the day time as it can create giddy creativity levels and edge free energy. A noticeable body buzz can also give more sedentary activities an enjoyable layer of coziness - or even make transitioning to nigh time activities easier with no signs of couch lock. As far as background goes, the aforementioned Girls Scout Cookies were crossed with flavor champion Cherry Pie. I suppose it's no wonder where this lady gets all her taste and aroma from. In terms of cultivation and cure, she's expertly done and was obviously tended to by true professionals. The trim is especially tight, the trichomes extra starry, and, of particular mention, the calyxes are fully mature. Time and time again I see Cookies offshoots grown by less professional growers that taste good, and do the trick, but lack the flavor levels and complexity seen here due to premature harvest. As mentioned in previous articles, so much of a bud's true taste emerges with maturity of calyxes. Also mentioned in previous articles is the "flush". This important part of the pre-harvest process clears out all of the nutrients from a plant's system and greatly improves flavor and quality of smoke. A tell-tale sign of proper pre-harvest flushing is the white ash produced when smoked. Note that this Cake Batter is indicative of excellent pre-harvest flushing based on the hyper white ash it creates. If you're into the Cookies line of strains and hybrids, or if you're looking for something deliciously out of the ordinary, I encourage you to check out this scrumptious batch of Cake Batter from Joint Delivery ASAP!

Great bands are awesome. Great buds are awesome. So, how about buds named after great bands? While I'm sure some of you out there could spend days arguing about whether Pearl Jam was a great band or not, I'm equally as sure that none of you would argue about how great this bud is. It's called Pearl Jam and it comes from a DC I-71 scene service that focuses predominantly on the super rare, super exotic specimens of luxury cannabis, Exotic Blooms. At first glance, this batch is pretty eye-popping. When Exotic Blooms says "exotic" they mean it and this much is clear from the crazy coloration and ridiculous amount of starry trichome coverage present. You don't see this in every day bud people. Someone spent a tremendous amount of time not only zeroing in on the right genetics to make this bad girl happen, but they also took painstaking care throughout her cultivation to get her to such a rarely achieved level of greatness. Her aroma is a highly complex and hard to place tart-laced fruitiness. Perhaps something like a sugared ruby red grapefruit. In the pipe or joint this flavor turns more citrusy and notes of lemon and lime come forward along with a hint of sweet cake or graham cracker. You'll be scratching your head the whole way through the flavor profile trying to figure out where you've experienced each nudge of flavor before. Regarding effects, you might assume that something of this caliber would have the effects of some flat out fire when smoked. Well, you would be absolutely correct. This is intensely powerful. It leans sativa and, upon exhale, you can feel the head rush burst forth as energy careens to fill your body. Almost disorienting at first, you may soon find yourself wanting to rock out, maybe put on some tunes and start shaking a leg. It's such an energetic and positive, buzzy type of high, absolutely perfect for daytime use - and not angsty either. Hell, maybe this is the perfect VIP-level concert going weed ideal for a, well, Pearl Jam concert? I have to say I'm beginning to see the reason for the name. But, what of her lineage? What genetics make up the heredity of such an astounding designer crop? Unfortunately, as is the case with many of the most ridiculously impressive breeds, the details of her family history are undisclosed and probably remain a closely held secret by the originator. Don't be too bummed though! We can always use what research and breadcrumbs are out there to help make an educated guess about how Pearl Jam came to be. First of all, upon a brief search of "pearl jam strain" you will find that a strain called Jamaican Pearl populates frequently in the search results. This strain was specifically bred for large crop yields from outdoor cultivation. However, in Jamaican Pearl's background you have an amazing sativa called Early Pearl. Having grown a fair amount of Early Pearl I recall that it's known for it's intensely starry trichomes - much like our Pearl Jam batch. Of course, Early Pearl is also a third of the genetics making up Silver Pearl - another rather rare and exotic strain of immense strength. On the "Jam" side of the house, there is a fairly famous "jam" strain called Nepalese Jam. It's well-known for it's strong citrusy-lemon cent. However, this strain is more of a classic and somewhat lower on the THC range - not the case with the batch in question. There is another "jam" strain that comes to mind which can end up quite citrusy depending on the Tangie parent. That strain is Space Jam - a hybrid of Alient OG and Tangie which often leans quite sativa. Recalling my last encounter with Space Jam, as well as noting pictures online, I would say that the structure, coloration, and even aroma are all in line with the Pearl Jam. So, If I HAD to guess, and please realize that this is a real long shot, I would say that this Pearl Jam is Silver Pearl crossed with Space Jam. Yet, we may never truly know. If you'd like to roll the dice and try to figure out if you can place the complex aroma, flavor, and even lineage of this incredible strain, schedule a delivery with Exotic Blooms ASAP!