Search

If movies have taught me anything fellow Tokers, it is that you respect the Jungle! So when DC local I-71 compliant provider DMV Organics offered me up their exclusive Jungle Cake strain for review, I approached with considerable caution. A notoriously strong indica dominant hybrid, Jungle Cake is known to boast high levels of THC and low levels of CBD. With THC levels ranging from 22% to a, “why am I wearing my socks over my shoes?” inducing 33%, this jungle is not playing around! Follow me through the Jungle fellow Tokers, and let’s bring some snacks and water cuz c’mon you know we’re gonna need it! Bred by Los Angeles based Seed Junky Genetics, Jungle Cake is the result of cross breeding White Fire #43 (a phenotype of White Fire OG aka WiFi OG) with Wedding Cake (a cross breeding of Cherry Pie and Girl Scout Cookies). Jungle Cake takes its name from its White Fire parent as White Fire itself is cross between Fire OG and White Rhino, and apparently someone was high enough to think Rhinos are jungle dwellers! Jungle Cake’s terpene profile includes Ocimene and Pinene. Ocimene is derived from the ancient Greek word Ocimum meaning basil, though the terpene’s profile is not predominantly herbal. The Ocimene terpene is known for some of the sweet and herbaceous flavors of certain cannabis strains, as well as citrusy and woodsy undertones. Ocimene is a monoterpene and can be found in a wide variety of plants such as tarragon, hops, kumquats, mangoes, basil, bergamot, lavender, orchids, and pepper. In addition to anti-oxidative properties, it is currently being studied for its potential anti-inflammatory benefits. Pinene is one of the most researched terpenes to date. Responsible for the scent of pine and fir trees, Pinene has also been identified as a potent anti-inflammatory and thought to ease the potential short-term memory loss associated with THC usage. This potent yet balanced exotic Cali strain is great for afternoon or evening use. An earthy and nutty nose precedes the sweet sugary flavor with just a hint of marshmallow. Known for its heavy high and long lasting effects, this euphoric strain is great for Tokers looking for some relief and relaxation. Hit up DMV Organics today to get some Jungle Cake for yourself!

Tokers, have you ever wanted to smoke, but found yourself in a setting that wasn’t exactly cannabis-friendly? What are you supposed to do if you want to partake, but you’re concerned about the odor? How would a Ninja stealthily enjoy cannabis without a trace? Local DC i71 compliant provider DMV Organics has just the thing for Ninja Tokers across the land who wish to be discreet! A high-quality organic distillate vaporizer cartridge is just the thing for Tokers who wish to remain safely anonymous. As the cannabis industry was taking its first steps into legitimacy, vaporizer cartridges quickly rose in popularity. Vaporizer Cartridges’ ease of use and highly portable nature seemed to be the trend as markets were flooded with various iterations thereof. As quickly as cartridges rose in popularity, their fall from grace was perhaps even faster as a wave of pulmonary lung injuries was attributed to their use. In truth, vaporizer cartridges weren’t the culprit; shady manufacturers filling cartridges with vitamin E oil were to blame. Knowing now that it is indeed possible to produce vaporizer cartridges that are safe to use, DMV Organics has created a high-quality organic distillate cartridge using a certified lead-free ceramics. So what IS distillate? Some of you lovely Tokers might be unfamiliar with distillate, and that’s okay. The name distillate refers to the purification process that removes and separates the cannabinoids, such as THC. Extensive refinement processes separate THC compounds from cannabis plant matter, resulting in an extremely potent translucent oil that is comprised of almost pure THC. Distillate typically lacks any flavor, taste, or aroma. Tokers, Ninjas, or secret agents who need something odorless, this is for you! DMV Organics has sourced local, organically grown strains designed specifically for their high-quality distillate. Everest and Darkstar strains have been crossed to create an incredibly well-balanced 50/50 hybrid which is thereby used to create their distillate. Available in both full- and half-milliliter cartridges, this distillate has quickly become my method of consumption when I’m on the go during the day and in need of a quick, discreet toke! Not everyone in my life shares my love of cannabis unfortunately, and I love that this cartridge enables me to enjoy myself around friends and family who would be offended by the smell of smoke. I found the distillate cartridge to be incredibly potent and great for a quick pick-me-up. Tokers are invited to use the discount code provided to save a little coin! Let us know in the comments how you enjoyed your distillate experience, we’d love to hear from you! Get $15 off your order with promo code "TokerGuideRef"

Greetings, Tokers! If you’re like me, you could use some serious relief from 2020. Only two more months to go! Yay! Luckily, I was stoked to discover the soothing new CBD line from SxC: Saved by Cannabis, brought to you by our friends at Joint Delivery. This Tallahassee, FL, female-owned cannabis shop founded by Amanda Geritano features the highest quality organic products for every mode, from relaxation to grind to relief to recovery—they’re named this way so it’s super easy to figure out which you need right now. We all love a good lip balm, especially during this weird time of year when the changing seasons can lead to chapped and sore lips. SxC Relief Mode lip balm is the perfect on-the-go staple, featuring vitamin E, cocoa butter, essential oils, and hemp-derived cannabidiol. It’s perfect to keep in your purse or back-pocket for a subtle healing pick-me up throughout your day. Peppermint oil and Eucalyptus gives it a minty fresh taste, lavender oil super charges healing, and cocoa butter helps smooth out those lips. SxC Recovery Mode is a menthol CBD balm, which contains, among other naturally-derived ingredients, aloe vera and arnica, an amazing herb with anti-inflammatory properties. This stuff is amazing. It’s hard to know whether my sore neck and shoulders are from the workout youtube videos I’ve been doing or all the time I’ve spent hunched over my desk trying to stay awake during work Zoom calls—ok let’s face it, it’s probably from doom scrolling on insta. Either way, this morning I woke up and I could barely look to my right side. I had my boyfriend rub some of this soothing balm into my sore muscles, and within five minutes, I could actually turn my head both ways, without wincing in pain. It loosened my muscles right up, without the room-clearing scent of BenGay--just nice, fresh, and minty clean menthol. Keep this one by your bed or in your gym bag for easy access! After you’ve paced yourself throughout the day with Relief Mode lip balm and gotten a nice Recovery Mode foot-rub from your significant other, the icing on the cake is the SxC Chill Mode CBD tincture. It contains organic coconut MCT oil, organic peppermint, CBD, CBN, organically grown hemp-derived Cannabidiol. This is perfect for right before bedtime or a relaxing bubble bath. Chill mode facilitates deep relaxation through pure CBN extract, a cannabinoid known for its sedative powers. The calming, natural peppermint flavor makes this full spectrum tincture a soothing bedtime ritual that won’t leave you foggy in the morning. Drop some under your tongue or mix with something to drink. Start small and work your way up to find the perfect dose for you! The bonus of all of them is that the CBD and CBN add a stress-relieving component that is perfect for keeping you zen all the way through election season and beyond. Check out SxC for yourself over at Joint Delivery today!

Ahh, the winter indoor harvest season season is upon us. Intriguingly, many of the early batches I've seen have been "banana"-oriented in some way. No complaints here. Banana is totally fine by me, especially if it means an insanely fruity, skunky aroma/flavor along with blankets of hyper-white trichomes. Take the below Banana Punch for example. It's a crossbreed of the typically stellar Purple Punch and Banana OG resulting in an evenly balanced (50/50) hybrid that is astounding in both taste and potency. It comes to us from DC weed delivery powerhouse Joint Delivery - more specifically their "JD Flowers" line of exquisite and exotic flower. If it's delectable, eye-popping, bizarrely skunky top-shelf tree that you're after, look no further. I wouldn't necessarily say that there's a strong reason to call this strain "banana." In a blind smell test, you're probably not going to be able to name-that-fruit for this one. When smoked, it hits hard and sweetly delicious with skunky-ness and fruitiness on the exhale. Its buzz will storm your head immediately in a rush that seems to melt over your body dripping down to your toes. She's an absolutely euphoric experience, and a delightfully stoning high. Energy levels remain relatively good, though you may quickly be finding yourself wanting to shirk any serious duties you have in favor of more recreational ones. Perhaps you're looking for the perfect holiday gift for that stoner you know and love? This could be a great one! Because it's a 50/50 hybrid, you don't need to know their preference, and day or night, you'll have it right. Plus, doesn't it already look like the perfect little snow covered tree? Just make sure you wrap it extra super air-tight. Otherwise, the whole fam may be quickly drawn to a particularly stinky package. To add this lovely lady to your collection give Joint Delivery a shout ASAP!

Emergency weekend alert to all you Tokers out there! If you aren't already aware, Top Secret DC has just dropped a bunch of bangin' new strains on their menu. One, from their Top Secret Genetics line, is the below example of Thin Mints and....holy shit you guys! This is one of my faves of the season so far. Why you ask? What makes THIS one so good in comparison to some of the other amazeballs strains on our featured review list? Well, for that, you truly must grab your own... You see, no matter how good the pictures are, or how much I tell you how freaking ridiculously amazing this weed is, the truth is, none of this online, digital representation will do it the justice it deserves. Here and now, with it in my presence, I'm 100% stoked on this tree. It's so utterly frosted with trichomes it would make anything else called "frosties" or "frosted flakes" in a line-up be tossed aside. The exoticness of the bouquet and the delightfulness of the rich, sugary flavor is heavily accented by the starkly contrasting skunk overtones. WHAT? Yeah, it's something to behold and whatever that previous sentence means, you're missing out if you didn't grab this like 10 min ago. You might be able to just follow your nose to this phenomenal GSC, OG Kush, and Durban Poison (runs 50/50) crossbreed 🤩, but instead I recommend just hitting up Top Secret DC ASAP and setting up a delivery. Even if you don't live in the district (I didn't realize many of you don't know this) you can still have it delivered to your parking spot on the side of almost any DC street. No toking around while driving though - especially not with this stunning specimen!

So we thought we'd mix things up a little bit on this gloomy Saturday and, in a nod to MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch of yesteryear, we are going to have a good ol' fashioned throwdown! Except in this case, we're going to pit two amazing batches of fine shrubbery from the always delightful Joint Delivery against each other. What happens to the loser? It immediately gets rolled up and scorched in a joint! Huzzah! First off, I want to be clear about the title. We do not, in any way, shape, or form, condone the killing of anything. Second, technically both of these strains comes from a collaboration between Cookies and Seed Junky Genetics. While the "Cookies" is certainly emphasized on the back of the Collin's avenue packaging, it's nowhere to be found on the "Minntz". So basically this is a battle all within the Cookies' dojo, if you will. Let's learn a bit about our contestants: In the left corner, hailing from California with strong Miami influence, she was born from the mind meld of rappers Rick Ross and Berner (cookies owner) and stands a super dense and robust 50/50 hybrid cross of Kush Mints 11 and GTI. Like the "lights" on the front of her packaging imply, she's basically bright neon freaking green. Like no other Cookies trained batch you've seen before, she's the incredible, formidable, Collins Avenuuuuuuuue! In the right corner, also hailing from California, she's got a deliciously powerful lineage with Peanut Butter Breath and Kush Mints as parents. She may look like a 50/50 hybrid, but she has the sedative power to lay you out, leaving your head floating in delirious delight. Yet the exotic piney/buttery/coffee-like aroma will keep luring you back for more. Like the colors of a frosty outdoor blue spruce evergreen tree after a heavy snow, she's clearly been cultivating her style under the highest of scrutiny. She's the amazing, the magnificent, Peanut Butter Minnnnnnnnnnntz! ...and both of these strains have the capacity to unleash a real wallop. The question in this match may come down not to which one hits harder, but which one outlasts the other. At the outset, it's Peanut Butter Minntz with an early edge. She really came out swinging with a nose that almost completely overtakes the senses. Collins Ave is really stunned here, but never fear, what she lacks in pungency she more than makes up for in her intimidating appearance. BLAMMY! Ohhhh, Collins Ave just took off and pummeled Minntz - just look at all those spectacular, twinkling trichomes on her! With just one hit, she's completely taken the lead here. How can you argue with such an inundating cookie flavor AND stupendous non-drowsy high? With hit after hit, Collins Ave is now taking it to Minntz. You might have thought that her sweet sugary nose couldn't compete with the Minntz's overt aroma, but the Cookies were just way too powerful in effect. There's almost nothing Minntz can do at this point! Folks, the ref is calling this one, it's already ALL OVER! That's right, even though both these strains are powerful opponents, hailing from the same Cookies-focused dojo and even sharing the Kush Mints lineage, the Collins Ave is just too strong and, I must say, much more of what I'm looking for in a Saturday afternoon strain. After all, who wants to get droopy eyes and couch lock when there's football to be psyched about? Peanut Butter Minntz, you are obviously wonderful, and I'm going to really enjoy rolling you up and burning you down later tonight, but the winner of this match is most definitely Cookies' Collins Ave! To pit these two strains (and many, many others) against each other for yourself hit up Joint Delivery today. Stay tuned in the weeks ahead for more Designer Strain "Deathmatches" to come!

Have you ever wanted to shoot white-hot laser beams of energized focus out of your eyeballs whilst you tackle the challenges of your day? Ever find yourself a wee bit anxious or paranoid because your sativa is too strong and now gremlins are chewing on your thoughts?? Wouldn’t it be great if we could enjoy a potent sativa extract on the go without enduring a mild panic attack?!? Does anyone know where all of my missing socks go?!? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, fellow Tokers—seriously, I want my socks back— then I have just the thing for you! Our friends at DMV Organics have done it again with a third offering in their popular new line of luxury extract and concentrate based vape carts! The White Diamond Vape Cart has a base of solventless White Haze Diamonds. As we’ve discussed before, fellow Tokers, “raw” sugar diamonds, or crystals, are an extremely potent 99% pure THC-A extract, the remaining 1% being typically made up of terpenes and cannabinoids. Flower typically contains an average of 20 to 25% THC, whereas the crystals/diamonds contain almost a full 100% THC. Essentially? Crystals/Diamonds are almost four times as strong as flower! The White Haze Diamonds are made from the sativa-dominant White Haze strain. Created by Amsterdam-based breeders Dutch White Label Seed Company, White Haze famously won for sativas in the 2002 High Times Cannabis Cup. This 70/30 sativa-dominant strain has scents of lemon and citrus with woodsy funky undertones. A cerebral, energetic, and uplifting high also boasts numerous purported health benefits: Tokers have attested to pain mitigation and anti-inflammatory benefits, as well as relief from feelings of depression. The Beta Myrcene terps in these Diamonds provide the perfect counterbalance to the energetic White Haze sativa. Known as the Queen Mother of all terps due to its prolific presence across so many plants, you’ve probably been enjoying Beta Myrcene without even knowing it! Often occurring in fragrant plants and herbs such as mangoes, hops, thyme, lemongrass, and basil, we’ve only begun to discover the myriad health benefits of this amazing terpene. Effecting the permeability of cell membranes enables Beta Myrcene to thereby regulate other terpenes and cannabinoids by either enhancing or buffering their respective effects and potency. Myrcene and other terpenes affect GABA receptors in the brain, acting synergistically with THC to produce neuromodulatory effects. Simply put? Beta Myrcene has got your back and is here to protect Tokers everywhere! Fighting pain, inflammation, and bodily discomfort while relaxing the muscles and promoting a calming sedation are just a few of the magic tricks Beta Myrcene has been reported to possess. By combining the sativa lighting bolt of White Haze with the “chill out bruh”-ness of Beta Myrcene, DMV Organics has created the perfect daytime luxury vape cart for Tokers on the go who need to get stuff done! I found the cart to be strong, energetic, and potent yet clear-headed and focused. This is my new favorite daytime boost! So, if you need a little pep in your step while you meet the day, look no further! We’ve also got a discount code you can use for your purchase (Get $15 off your order with promo code "TokerGuideRef")! Let us know what you think in the comment section, we’d love to hear your feedback!

One of the most gassy strains I've had in some time, this Grease Monkey from Exotic Blooms is an indica dominant hybrid and cross of the infamous Gorilla Glue #4 with the ever satisfying Cookies & Cream. The result is an astounding sweet skunkyness that makes your mouth water and an overall aroma that is straight from a diesel truck - something you can smell from a literal mile away. In terms of effect, this one is heavy on the euphoric body buzz and has the solid indica stance to just make you melt away into your couch. I've also noticed that gorilla glue and related crossbreeds often have long-lasting nasal decongestion properties for me. This is especially helpful this time of year when my allergies seem to be acting up more so than in the Spring. For whatever reason, the "glue-like" aspect projects itself as a welcomed dryness of the sinus - sort of like cottonmouth but throughout the nasal cavity instead. I can't say this will work for anyone else, but it works for me pretty much every time I need it to. With Exotic Blooms, you always know that what you're going to get will be of impeccable quality. While this one may not appear to be the eye candy that many of the other strains we've reviewed for them have been, let me assure you that this bad girl packs a mean punch. In fact, the strain's THC levels are typically nearing the 30% mark - common with many GG influenced varietals - and it's quite obvious given this batch's strength. If you're looking for a highly relaxing, highly rejuvenating weekend, and perhaps just as much calm as you can get before next week's storm (DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!), then I recommend giving this funky skunky monkey a try! Hit up Exotic Blooms to setup your delivery today and don't forget: GET $10 OFF with promo code: "Toker's Guide Sent Me"

Purple God, brought to us by Exotic Blooms, is a super exotic and typically rare indica dominant hybrid strain created by re-crossing God Bud - Hawaiian Landrace X Purple Skunk - with Hawaiian Landrace X Purple Skunk. This re-cross is performed in order to add more purple coloration by re-introducing genes from another, similar phenotype that expresses more purple. In this case, the purple is expressed, but perhaps not as much as I've seen in some batches of Purple Skunk. This is completely ok, however, because 1). the flecks of purple that are apparent make it look even more exotic and provide great contrast and 2). this bud is just freaking epic, regardless! Typically packing just over 30% THC, the potency of this strain should not be underestimated. With the flavor - one of buttery-cake-like-ness with subtle fruity notes - it may be hard to put the vaporizer down before you're...ehem...one toke over the line (what was the over/under on how long it would take me to put that bit of song lyric in a post? 😂 ). Note in the above macro lens shots that the fresh coats of twinkly trichomes are lathered onto the sugar leaves and sizably mature calyxes in droves. In the middle photo, taken looking from the bottom up, you can see the cure taking ahold and the overtly resinous trichomes just oozing - the bottom of colas possess some of the most flavorful terps and highest potency levels and this is certainly the case here. It's fresh and sticky, mega dense, has flavor for days, and the potency is unquestionable. You can vape it, you can still roll it despite the stickiness (there's a delightful grittiness to it upon breaking it up all the way), and you can absolutely take phenomenal bong rips with it (my preferred method with this batch). What's not to love? To check out this stupendous stash of Purple God for yourself hit up Exotic Blooms and schedule your delivery ASAP! PS: GET $10 OFF with promo code: "Toker's Guide Sent Me"

My fellow Tokers, the game is changing before our possibly red eyes. (Remember to be good to your eyes and use moisturizing drops!) The cannabis culture has evolved rapidly and utilized modern science to elevate the products and methods by which Tokers throughout the land can enjoy our favorite plant! We used to be somewhat limited with regard to the mediums by which we were available to enjoy cannabis, but all that has changed! My friends and I at Tokers Guide have discussed various concentrates and extracts with you before, but some of you out there might be unfamiliar or uninitiated with this kind of experience. Worry not, fellow Tokers! Do me the honor of being your guide as we explore the land of live resin together! It’ll be like the magic school bus, but we’ll all be high af...although let’s be honest—you know Ms. Valerie Frizzle was getting down on the low! Live resin has quickly become one of my favorite ways to enjoy cannabis! Freshly harvested cannabis is frozen to subcritical temperatures, enabling the plant to retain its magical terpene profile. This allows the plant to keep its original flavor and fragrance, both of which are typically severely diminished during the usual curing and cultivation process that flower regularly undergoes. Through this complex extraction process, live resin concentrates are able to really capture the flavors and aromas of the living plant. The plant’s essence has been frozen in a moment of time, allowing a more complex terpene profile to flourish. Complex terpene profiles allow for the legendary “entourage effect,” meaning all the various compounds can work together synergistically to take Tokers across the land on magical journeys of their very own! When my favorite DC local I-71 compliant service provider DMV Organics gave me this tested and certified local organic NYC Diesel to try, I knew I was about to taste something special. Famously winning 2nd place for Sativas at the High Time Cannabis Cup in 2001, 2003, and 2004, NYC Diesel’s reputation precedes itself! Bred by Amsterdam based Soma Sacred Seeds, NYC Diesel is a 60% Sativa dominant cross between Mexican and Afghani. With THC levels that can exceed 21%, this Sativa dominant strain is great for daytime use. A citrusy nose greets your senses before hints of lime and grapefruit dance across your pallet. An upbeat euphoric high is pleasantly chill and known for not inducing anxiety as some other robust Sativas often can. I enjoyed this live resin in both a dab rig and a pen that uses concentrates. I found this product to be quite stable and not too messy as some concentrates can be. Head to DMV Organics and try it for yourself! And use our discount code to save yourself some cash! Tell us what you think in the comments section, we’d love to hear from you!

You know what i love fellow tokers? Extracts and concentrates! You know what i despise? Messy laborious dab rigs and the whole cleaning and maintenance required thereof! Oh what am i to do?!? If only i had some super convenient way of enjoying my favorite concentrates discretely on the go while i run around this crazy world we live in! Can’t anyone help me out?!? DMV Organics is here to help! My favorite, local DC I-71 compliant provider is here to save the day yet again! Offering another entry in their new line of luxury extracts and concentrate carts, the Lemon Creme Pie Diamond Vape Cart is here to blow your mind! Using the same Lemon Creme Pie Solvent-less Diamonds we previously reviewed, combined with Humulene Terps (more on this in a moment), tokers throughout the land are granted with a superior, luxury cart experience. Providing the base of the cart is AAAA certified Lemon Creme Pie “RAW” sugar diamonds (or crystals), an extremely potent, solvent-less 99% pure THC-A extract. The Lemon Crème Pie is made with organic flower that’s a 50/50 indica/sativa hybrid. As I've mentioned before - but always want to reiterate for the newbies - Flower typically contains an average of 20 to 25% THC, whereas these crystals contain almost a full 100% THC. Therefore the Lemon Crème Pie is almost four times as strong in this form as in flower form! Adding to this fantastic concentrate to really take this cart to the next level we have Humulene Terps! Present in many strains such as Dark Star, Headband, Thin Mint GSC, Original Glue, and Candyland, you’ve probably been enjoying Humulene for years without even knowing it! First found in hops (I see you beer enthusiasts), Humulene is the terp responsible for the spicy, earthy, woody notes possessed by many plants. With a bouquet comparable to sage, basil, or clove, the robustness of Humulene is the perfect counter balance to the lighter citrus medley of the Lemon Creme Pie. Humulene also has a variety of purported health benefits and has been used for centuries in eastern and holistic medicine as an antibacterial agent, appetite suppressant, and anti-inflammatory. Additionally, some tokers have mentioned it helping them with allergies, pain, bacterial infections, arthritis, and fibromyalgia. So basically DMV Organics has combined one of the best concentrates around with a miraculous terpene and housed the blend in a certified lead free glass and ceramic cart? Um....F***K YEAH! I have to say, from flavor to effects I love this thing. Head over to DMV Organics and treat yourself to one of the best carts available in DC! use our discount code ("TokerGuideRef") and save yourself some coin! and let us know what you think in the comments, we'd love your feedback!

Good morning fellow tokers! I couldn't let any more time go by without letting you know about some great new tree coming out of Top Secret DC this weekend. It's called Slurricane Runtz and, as you might have guessed, it's a cross of the relatively new, but already notorious, Slurricane and hybrid powerhouse Runtz. My first thoughts upon seeing this specimen? Holy crap this stuff is white! Like white AF. Seriously there are so many clustered hyper-white trichomes on this bud that its calyxes and sugar leaves are almost entirely white. Accented by thick blaze-orange hairs, this batch looks exceptionally exotic! I'm going to keep this one brief and let the photos do much of the talking, but suffice it to say that the genetics used to Frankenstein this creation were absurdly good. With Slurricane, a 60/40 indica heavy hybrid, and Runtz, a 50/50 hybrid, this runs just ever so slightly indica. However, I did find the buzz considerably euphoric with a very noticeable body buzz. Better hit up Top Secret DC on the double because this one is sure to go fast!